Routes blog
Motherhood and mentoring: Migerjana & Tiffany
Migerjana & Tiffany were paired as Mentor and Mentee on our April - August 2022 cohort. In this blog, they explain why being a mother won’t hinder your ability to join the Routes programme. And Migerjana shares her top tips on how to juggle motherhood and being a mentee.
Migerjana & Tiffany were paired as Mentor and Mentee on our April - August 2022 cohort. In this blog, they explain why being a mother won’t hinder your ability to join the Routes Mentoring Programme. And Migerjana shares her top tips on how to juggle motherhood and being a mentee.
This piece has been written by Migerjana and Tiffany (photographed) as part of their mentoring journey.
Like other young mums, Migerjana first heard about the Routes Mentoring Programme through the Happy Baby community, a charity that helps women who are pregnant or have young children and who have fled their country to seek international support in the UK. She has been volunteering her time at the charity every Wednesday for the past 10 months.
What has Migerjana’s journey been in the UK so far?
Migerjana moved to the UK to seek asylum when she was 5 months pregnant with her daughter. She then spent several months in a hotel in London with other pregnant women, also asylum seekers. Shortly after giving birth, she moved into a house share, where she’s been living since.
She joined the Routes Collectives mentoring Programme in April, when her daughter was 11 months old.
“At the beginning, I was sceptical and I wasn’t sure if I should join the programme because of my little daughter. I wasn’t sure if I would be able to commit to the whole programme and when I could fit in all of the sessions with my mentor. But now that I am part of the programme, I believe that it was a great decision to make! I’m really grateful and thankful that I enrolled in this programme. I’m building self confidence and I am feeling hopeful that I can provide a great future for my daughter and I. There is a long journey ahead of us but this programme has enabled me to believe in myself again!”- Migerjana.
Other mentees such as Martha said that the programme felt like a “wake up call” reminding her that “she has a purpose’’, and Zhaneta who was expecting a child in 2020 said that she felt “more peaceful” thanks to the programme.
How do busy mums like Migerjana manage to participate in the programme?
As you will have seen in other blogs on the Routes website, both the mentors and mentee undergo training and they meet up for 10 sessions either face-to-face or remotely over the course of the 4 months programme. This may sound like a lot of time for mothers who do not have childcare in place. Migerjana was delighted when her roommate volunteered to look after her daughter for both training days. She and Tiffany agreed to schedule all of their weekly meetings remotely during her daughter’s naps, which enabled Migerjana to concentrate on her objectives and have a bit of the ‘me time’ that mums sometimes crave! Obviously there were days when her daughter wasn’t sleeping and it was fine – either they would do a short session, or play a bit with the little one.
For Tiffany, who is also a mum, it was very important that Migerjana felt comfortable. She knows too well how stressful it can be when trying to multitask with a toddler or baby!
What is Migerjana’s objective?
During the first few sessions, Tiffany and Migerjana discussed Migerjana’s current situation and her medium to long-term objectives. In the asylum system, it can take years for people to get a work permit. Migerjana has applied for one, but has yet to receive an answer. Thus they decided to concentrate on finding a short-term online course that could help Migerjana find suitable employment once she is granted a work permit.
As a young mum, it is important for Migerjana to do a self-paced online course. This means that she can study whenever she can in the comfort of her home.
As of today, her plan is to do a short online course to acquire business skills with a local college, then if she likes this field of work, undertake a longer course in the autumn.
How are courses funded?
There are numerous funding opportunities available. On this occasion, Tiffany and Migerjana have been focusing on two funding opportunities:
The bursary scheme from the City & Guild Foundation that provides support of up to £10,000; and
Funding at a local college for asylum seekers who enrol in a university degree.
Hopefully, they’ll be able to secure funding so that Migerjana can start a course soon!
Migerjana’s top 5 tips on how to juggle motherhood and the mentoring programme:
Agree on a day when you are both available.
“I have therapy on Tuesday and I volunteer at the Happy Baby community on Wednesdays. The rest of the week I am out and about with my daughter. So Tiffany and I decided that Fridays during my child’s nap was a good time to have online hour-long sessions.”
It’s ok not to be ok!
“We’ve both had to cancel sessions at the last minute because either of our babies was unwell. It happens and it’s fine!”
Mentors are called ‘champions’
“This means that they do not always have an answer to our questions, but they always strive to find ways to help with suggestions and by bringing a different perspective.”
Don’t hesitate to challenge yourself and join the programme!
“Ever since Tiffany and I met (online), I have felt like I’ve known her for a long time. Every session with my mentor brings me closer to my goals. I feel more positive and hopeful for the future!”
Being a mum is not a barrier, it is a superpower!
“I really want my daughter to have the best possible opportunities in life. That is a very powerful incentive and it makes me work extra hard!”
What is it like to be a mentor?
Below is a short testimony from Tiffany, who’s child is 2-and-a-half years old.
“Being a mentor is a human adventure before anything else. Whilst it provides mentors with greater listening skills, a better understanding of the asylum system in the UK and numerous tools to help a mentee achieve their objectives, it really is the bond that you develop with your mentee that matters the most. In her blog, another mentee called Xiaojuan describes really well this feeling of connection between a mentor and a mentee.
“Being a mother is a permanent juggling act and it is easy to understand why ‘it takes a village to raise a child’! Getting to know Migerjana and her daughter got me thinking about my own experience of bringing my son up. The mother-daughter bond that they have is truly exceptional and I feel very inspired by the community that they have created for themselves with other mothers and children in the asylum system and beyond. I believe that it shows that motherhood has no cultural, religious or ethnic boundaries.
“Being Migerjana’s mentor has been a privilege. I’m in awe of her resilience and her ability to adapt. She is an incredibly talented young woman who completed a masters degree in political science in her country and is raising a child by herself in a foreign country. Yet she has very little self confidence and the feeling of starting from scratch in an environment where your degrees are not recognised can be a daunting prospect. I am delighted to be helping her achieve her objectives!”
Written by Migerjana and Tiffany, August 2022
Elif & Raperin, Mentor & Mentee 2022
“I discovered that we have a lot in common, as women we are going through very similar challenges in this male-dominated capitalist world, and we can challenge perspectives collectively by supporting each other.”
Elif & Raperin were paired as Mentor and Mentee on our April - August 2022 cohort. Together they worked on Raperin’s goals, both learning and growing through the process. In these two short pieces, Elif & Raperin reflect on their journeys and what they have learnt from each other along the way.
“…we have a lot in common, as women we are going through very similar challenges in this male-dominated capitalist world, and we can challenge perspectives collectively by supporting each other…”
Mentor, Elif
I joined the Routes Mentoring Programme to improve and practise my mentoring skills and to support another woman who we might share common challenges in a new country.
I would like to say, the programme was designed by the Routes team very professionally from training to delivery. Even if you do not have any mentoring experience before, but you have a passion for it, the programme prepares you for the mentoring process very smoothly with trainings and individual support when needed. I believe skills we have gained during the programme are very crucial both for your personal and professional development. So, if anyone would like to try mentoring and not sure where to start, Routes Mentoring Programme provides a safe space for you to learn and grow.
Becoming a mentor of the Routes Mentoring Programme has been the most rewarding thing I have done in the last year. It was a pure joy to meet with Raperin and be able to accompany her in her journey. Raperin is a very strong woman with a lot of passion and resilience. She wants to understand the non-profit sector in the UK and continue developing a career here as she has a lot of work experience already.
Her struggles of trying to pursue a career in a new country reminded me of my own struggles when first I moved to the UK. After our long conversations I discovered that we have a lot in common, as women we are going through very similar challenges in this male-dominated capitalist world, and we can challenge perspectives collectively by supporting each other.
We have structured our meetings according to Raperin’ s goals and needs but we never missed any chance to get to know each other better and have fun together during the process. Being a part of Raperin’ s journey inspired me a lot and gave me a chance to reflect on my own journey as well. Raperin is a true source of inspiration not only for her daughters but also for the women in her community.
“She never missed a chance saying how much she is learning from me like I learn from her, she is very much like a kind, smart and caring friend. ”
Mentee, Raperin
I was referred by a colleague to Routes being a newcomer to the UK. I was not sure how beneficial this would be for me but was open to try. The introduction meeting motivated me as the general friendly atmosphere was really present and encouraging. My goal from this program was to get to know the work system in the UK, diminish my fears, and restore my confidence.
In the first meeting with my mentor I was expecting a question-answer atmosphere, but no it was a simple meeting just getting to know each other. I must be honest I was not convinced that this could lead to somewhere, but because I’m not the kind of person who would pull back from a commitment I just decided to continue. THANKFULLY, I made just the right decision as later after meeting once every week, we started to really know each other, we discussed our deep concerns and thoughts, we laughed, we met in person and it became my favorite hour of the week.
Elif was genuinely involved in our conversations and discussions, she was honest and kind, and she shared her experiences and thoughts just like I did. She never missed a chance saying how much she is learning from me like I learn from her, she is very much like a kind, smart and caring friend.
She helped to understand the work system in the UK, the knowledge and experience she shared made me look into things from a totally different angle. We defined together our strengths and weaknesses on both professional and personal level, I discovered skills that I would never believe I have.
Now that the programme has just reached the end I have a much clearer vision of how to reach my goal with no fears, more confidence and a trustworthy, out of the blue friend who I can always seek advice from.
Written and published August 2022
The similarities & differences - Florida & Emily
Having studied law in Albania, mentee Florida is faced with the challenge of learning a whole new legal system. Emily is an associate at Milbank LLP. She joined the mentoring programme to support someone else, whilst learning and developing in her own right.
Having studied law in Albania, mentee Florida is faced with the challenge of learning a whole new legal system. Emily is an associate at Milbank LLP. She joined the mentoring programme to support someone else, whilst learning and developing in her own right.
In this blog post, both women reflect on their expectations of the programme, their relationship to the legal profession, and the things they have learned from one another…
Why did you originally decide to study law?
FLORIDA – I decided because I had a passion for it and had read some books about law which sounded interesting. I had a passion, I did some internet searching and spoke with family members and friends and heard about their experience with that and how it works, so I decided to study law. I wanted to help myself and other people.
EMILY – I studied law because I was interested in a job that would allow me to keep learning. I liked that it would involve a lot of education as I felt that could always be useful for me to have, it also felt like it had a clear trajectory, which I found really helpful when I was younger to understand the process.
What is it like to learn about a new legal system?
F - I didn’t know a lot about the English legal system initially… When I first read some of the books that Emily gave me, I thought English law was going to be difficult, but actually it is similar in some ways. [Still], it is quite difficult, you need to start from the beginning, even when you have some information, it is still a different country. You don’t have the same confidence you have in your home, it’s different. You speak a different language. To study law and to learn about law is difficult without the language. It’s not like everyday usage.
E – It’s been really interesting to get to see the similarities between law in England and in Albania. [Florida] clearly has an ease with the legal world that translates. [Although] I’ve noticed that legal jargon, for example, can be really difficult to understand… It really does show how difficult the system is, even when you have the context of growing up with the language. It’s a huge credit to those who can become dual qualified!
Why did you both decide to join the Mentoring Programme?
F - I decided to join because it sounded interesting for me to know more information about what I want for the future. For example, for job and study prospects, more information about how I can convert my university degree that I finished in my country. For me it was interesting to learn more about that.
E – I decided to join because I really liked the ethos of Routes; that the programme was to learn from each other, rather than a top down approach. This made me feel that I could be a mentor as I felt like I had something to give, but that I also wasn’t an expert and wanted to learn myself.
What are you learning from each other?
E – I feel like I am learning so much from Florida. I think she is such an incredible example of someone who is dealing with a lot from motherhood, learning what life is like in a new country, language courses and on top of this handling her legal status, and she does it all with such a positive attitude. She is always so incredibly kind to speak with and is so warm and funny. I think that it’s an excellent reminder that you can be resilient and kind.
I feel like it’s taught me to take time to reflect, rather than surging ahead with next ideas. I’ve realised that I’m a very solutions focused person, which can work well sometimes but can also mean adding a lot of unnecessary pressure other times. It’s allowed me to take a step back and to recognise that we don’t need to achieve everything all at once.
F – It was interesting to hear about how some of Emily’s experiences were similar to me. I learned a lot from Emily. First of all, I’ve learned to be more confident with my English speaking and that I have improved. Second of all, I’ve learned more about CVs and job applications. Also, I’ve learned about different types of job opportunities and steps. Emily has also sent me legal textbooks so that has allowed me to learn a lot myself.
I was surprised by what I could learn from the programme, after the first session I realised what the sessions would look like and what we could do in the future. I think Emily and I work really well together, we cover many things in our sessions. Like thinking about CVs, as well as spending time getting to know each other. It’s a pleasure getting to know Emily.
Florida and Emily took part in the Routes Mentoring Programme together between October 2021 - February 2022. For more information about becoming a mentor like Emily click here. And if you would like to be mentored, like Florida, click here.
"It's a feeling!" - Xiaojuan's Mentoring Journey So Far
Mentee Xiaojuan shares her thoughts and reflections on her mentoring journey so far - the new relationship she’s made, the confidence she has built, and the new experiences she’s had as a result.
In this blog post, 2021-22 Mentee Xiaojuan shares her thoughts and reflections on her mentoring journey so far - the new relationship she’s made, the confidence she has built, and the new experiences she’s had as a result.
“I am a mummy, who has a four year old girl. My girl is in nursery now. We used to read stories before my daughter goes to bed and I found out that my English isn't good enough to read the story fluently. I realised that I must improve my English, not only for reading stories, but also for giving my daughter better education. That’s why I joined the Routes Mentoring Programme. I had heard about the Mentoring Programme from a charity that supports mothers who are seeking asylum. They told me that it can help me to meet my goals.
I joined the Mentoring Programme and met my mentor, whose name is Kerrie. Kerrie is very nice and patient. She asks me some questions every time when we are having a meeting and that makes me talk a lot. The more I talk, the better my English gets.
I feel like I knew my mentor already for a long time, even though we just met through the Mentoring Programme. I don’t know how to describe it - it’s a feeling! You can just talk to her: your thoughts, your thinking, your ideas. She is also giving me lots of suggestions. For example, some links and apps to help me improve my English.
We are also working on some of my other goals. In the future, I would love to create a video for my daughter. So that when she gets older, she can watch the videos from her early years. As a memory, from the time she was born! A little bit of her tiny life. But that is quite difficult for me. I need to learn a bit more about technology first. I might need to go to learn some computer skills, perhaps do a course to help me understand things better.
I told Kerrie that my English is not good enough. But she said that my English is very good and she can understand me. Because of that, I've been much more confident. I was scared to communicate over the phone. I would always go to a place to talk to people rather than make a phone call. But now I start to try to make phone calls, instead of going to the place, which saves me lots of time.
Recently, my friend’s printer wasn’t working. I helped her to find help by using the internet. Another friend had a problem with a delivery, and I helped them with making a phone call. Also, a friend of mine had to cancel an appointment with a GP, which is quite difficult. I could now help them with the phone calls. So I can now see that my skills have improved.
I hope I am not going to stop studying English even after the Mentoring Programme is finished. I think I will also go and find some computer course for me, after my English has improved. Now, I am doing an ESOL course (English for Speakers of Other Languages) at the adult learning centre of my local council. Sometimes things are easy, but for me, I need someone to help me. To open a door for me. And then, maybe I can start it.
If you meet a mentor that is good for you, this will help you a lot. It will help you reach your goal, and save you time. Also, if you are not confident, if you can find someone like that, they will help you build your confidence. That’s what the Mentoring Programme did for me!”
Xiaojuan was a mentee on our 2021-22 programme. Applications are now open for mentors and mentees for our upcoming programme (April 2022)! Click the buttons below to find out more…
Celebrating the summer cohort
Routes Mentoring Programme Producer, Wieke, shared this beautiful spoken word piece with our 2021 cohort of mentors and mentees at their end of programme celebration last month.
Routes Mentoring Programme Producer, Wieke, shared this beautiful spoken word piece with our 2021 cohort of mentors and mentees at their end of programme celebration last month.
You can watch and hear the poem (performed by Wieke) and find the transcript below!
Some call this the ‘summer of love’
Some call it ‘summer of chaos’
We call it ‘summer of solidarity’
Knowing that there are other women like you
Keeping an eye out
Cheering you on
Rooting for your wellbeing
Having each other’s backs
Face-to-face in video calls
In pairs of two
You
Added understanding
Divided the workload
Multiplied meaning
Sharing that genuine space with one another
Looking at the other
Looking at yourself
And seeing the strengths in both of you
Mentoring is
Learning together
Learning from each other
Seeing the hurdles along the way
And then exploring the options
It is
Acknowledging different experiences
The setbacks that can crumble our confidence
When some of us are told ‘no’ over and over again
The long wait
In the system
In the heat
Is just that much more bearable
With a friendly face on the other side of the screen
Waiting for those ‘yesses’
Celebrating your successes
Seeing you for who you are
And as we talked through
Non-directive communication and public speaking
Goals and aspirations and road maps
Values and opportunities and next steps
Confidence was victorious
You were all glorious
As you build your relationships
Moved through your meetings
Tuned in for trainings
And shared some of those things that matter the most
And as tonight’s hosts:
this is your party
The long journeys that got you here
The wisdom that you carry with you
And this sense of
Self
Integrity
Care
Community
To take with you
Until we meet again
Meet in real life
To share some more
Laughter, joy and support
Applications are now open for our October 2021 mentoring programme. To find out more click here.
Teri's Top Tips for Public Speaking
Teri-Ann Bobb Baxter is an actor and trainer, who is the founder of Speak Up. She’s also a long-time Routes facilitator, delivering the Public Speaking Workshops on our Mentoring Programme. In this blog, you can read her top tips to get ready for any gathering, presentation or public event!
Meet Teri!
You may recognise the amazing Teri from the screen and stage… She is a professional actress and has performed for theatre and television, recently being seen in Bridgerton and Call the Midwife, and gracing the stages of theatres like Theatre Royal Haymarket, National Theatre, Soho Theatre, Manchester Opera House and more!
When Teri was a child she found it hard to communicate and concentrate at school. When drama was introduced to her, she found it easier to express herself, which helped her to build her confidence. This experience was one of the reasons Teri founded Speak Up, an organisation running drama workshops to boost the confidence and wellbeing of people of all ages (with a particular focus on young people). The workshops are fun, playful and safe, creating spaces in which children and adults alike can take steps to building their confidence together.
Since 2020, Teri has been running confidence building workshops for women in the Routes Community, and the results have been amazing! 2020 mentee Mutiat recently commented,
“By the time you listen to Teri a few times your confidence will boost whether you want it or not!”
Since more adults in the UK are scared of public speaking than of dying (!) we thought it was only fair to share some of Teri’s Top Tips with you too…
Top Tips for Finding Public Speaking Confidence
1. Warm up before you start, even if it’s just a quick stretch of your body and face
Would you expect an athlete or a gymnast to go into a performance without warming up? No! Your body, face and voice need to be prepared in order to do their job properly.
2. Slow down and breathe — let the audience process your words
The audience doesn’t have a pause or rewind button! They only have one chance to hear what you are saying, so take your time, especially around important words or phrases. It will always sound faster to an audience than it does to you.
3. Start and finish well — the audience will remember the first and last thing you say
Start and finish with confidence and energy. We can all be tempted to trail off at the end, or run off the stage in relief, but the final impression is the most important one! Leave the audience wanting more by finishing as strongly as you began.
4. And finally, your audience want you to be good — take the pressure off yourself!
In centuries gone by, lots of eyes staring at one person would probably have meant they were about to be eaten by a pack of angry wolves... But not anymore! The eyes in your audience want you to do well and are looking for the best in you! Remembering this can help to take the pressure off and calm the part of your nervous system that goes into “fight or flight” mode.
Next time you have some public speaking to do (whether online or in real life) make sure to give these top tips a try, and let us know how you get on!
You can find out more about Teri and her organisation ‘Speak Up’ here.
You can find out more about Routes’ creative work, including details of our workshops, events and performances here.
"A little light in a dark room" - Silvia & Halima's Mentoring Journey
Mentor Silva and mentee Halima write about their time together on the Mentoring Programme. They describe what it’s like to get started, and what the journey across the four months of the Programme can feel like.
Mentor Silvia (Nesta) and mentee Halima wrote this blog post together as they approached the end of their four-month mentoring journey. In it, they discuss first meeting, their evolving relationship, growing in confidence together and much more…
Silvia: “Halima and I got to know each other through the Routes mentoring programme, which has had a transformative impact on both of us. We embarked on this journey with a lot of hopes and fears, and now that we are approaching the end of it, we have both developed into more confident and empowered women. Most importantly, in just 10 hours together and without having even met face to face, we have both found a supporter and a friend.
“We would like to share a bit about our journey throughout the programme and how we’ve built a meaningful connection despite – and thanks to – our differences, with the hope to inspire more people to take part.”
Before the mentoring programme
Halima: “I lost confidence in myself during the long lockdown. I was bored most of the time. I really wanted to do something for myself. One day, I met one of the staff at Happy Baby Community, and I got to know about the Routes mentoring programme. At first, I did not understand what it was about but later I realised this was a little light in a dark room.”
Silvia: “A few months ago, I read in a book something like “the purpose of life is self-transcendence, rather than endless self-reflection”. That really resonated with me and made me realise that after having spent a couple of years focusing on myself with the support of wonderful people, I was now ready to offer support to someone else. Some days later, a colleague at work shared the opportunity to enrol in the Routes mentoring programme and it felt like the perfect match for what I was looking for.”
Our first training
Halima: “Until the first meeting with my mentor Silvia I was very worried about how she would be. I was fearful, curious and joyful at the same time. I was scared that my English level was not going to be good enough and Silvia wouldn’t understand me. And I was worried I could not reach my goal.”
Silvia: “During the first training with Routes I remember feeling a mix of excitement and anxiety (apparently, these feelings are caused by the same chemicals in the brain). How do you connect meaningfully with a person that comes from the other side of the world and is likely to have a completely different lived experience from you? Even more worryingly, how do you do that online, in the middle of a pandemic?”
Our journey together
Halima: “On the first day all the fears were gone. Silvia is very positive, sincere and friendly. She would turn all my negative thoughts into positive ones with her talking. She understands everything I say, she even understands what I can’t understand. Since the first meeting I felt safe with her and it seemed like we had known each other for a long time. I am fascinated by Silvia’s sincere behaviour, and I now wait all week to talk to her.
“We normally talk for a long time and we got to know each other through the programme. Silvia has always been thinking about my goal. I learned a lot of things from her that will be useful in my life here. Silvia is not only my favourite person, but also my one-year old daughter’s one. I don’t know the other mentors, but I am lucky, and I think my mentor is the best. Thanks to the mentoring programme, I was able to get out of a very frustrating and unhappy place. I regained my self confidence and I’ve learnt a lot. The staff at Routes Mentoring have been really supportive. I wish the programme continues so that more people can benefit from it.”
Silvia: “Already on the first meeting, I realised Halima and I had more in common than what I had initially thought. After 30 minutes, we were chatting about our families, our countries, our experience of moving to the UK from abroad and getting settled here. She introduced me to her baby and shared a lot of interesting facts about the typical food and dresses of her country. From the very first session, we were open about what we wanted to achieve through the programme and how we could support each other in this journey.
“With time, our relationship has evolved and so have our meetings. While at the beginning I was the one playing a more proactive role by suggesting activities Halima could do and next steps to achieve her goals, now she does most of the talking, brings up a lot of different topics for discussion and every week she updates me on all the activities and courses she is doing. Witnessing Halima become more confident after each meeting has been one of the greatest joys of my adult life. Watching her grow and flourish despite all the negative circumstances that were affecting her life has been a true source of inspiration.
“On a personal level, it’s been so empowering for me to learn that I am able to support another human being to achieve their goals and that I have the resources and the tools to be an accountability buddy, a cheerleader, a friend and a supporter.”
Our thank you
Silvia and Halima: “A special thank you from both of us goes to the Routes Mentoring programme, which has given us a fantastic opportunity to grow into a better and happier version of ourselves and to build a meaningful friendship with someone supposedly so different, and yet so similar. It has been by accepting, exploring and valuing our differences that we were able to go beyond them.
This journey made us realise that we share the fundamental experience of being human - of being sad when we feel rejected, self-conscious when we face a new challenge, happy when people treat us with unexpected kindness, empowered when we are showed that we are capable of achieving our most ambitious dreams. We were reminded that we are – as much of a platitude as it may sound – fundamentally made of the same matter.”
'It is never too late!' - Aldona's mentoring journey
“I never had a mentor before. Meeting my mentor for the first time was the best thing ever. It was like meeting a doctor - that’s how I felt. This is someone who can help me heal - the old me who was passive and felt left behind in this modern world…”
Aldona is a mentee on our 2021 mentoring programme. As she writes this blog, she is approaching the end of her four month mentoring journey with her mentor Jo (UBS). Here she shares her journey to Routes, her experience of mentoring, and why it is never too late to start achieving your goals.
“I heard about Routes through my therapist. I wanted to join, because this is something I needed right now. It was the right thing at the right time. As a woman, as a mother of a child stuck at home, I needed it. For 10 years, I have been in the UK, but I have never had the chance to do things. I was foolish enough to believe that my asylum would be accepted, but it wasn’t until now - so over a decade, I couldn’t do much.
Having a child and thinking about being positive about the future and seeing things from a different perspective is really useful. Seeing things from inside of you, in a humane way. I was very glad and excited - you can’t imagine. It was like when you get excited when you go to high school!
I never had a mentor before. Meeting my mentor for the first time was the best thing ever. It was like meeting a doctor - that’s how I felt. This is someone who can help me heal - the old me who was passive and felt left behind in this modern world.
The first time I met my mentor, I wasn’t sure how it was going to turn out, because I never had an experience like this before. But from the first day she was so nice. We met on Zoom and she gave me the chance to speak. I have difficulties with focusing or remembering a lot of things. She gave me the chance to tell her. Maybe she just knew which questions to ask first.
Once I told her how I feel and where I stand and who I am, we just continued working together. We worked a lot - we have done 6 sessions so far. I want to do a course and Jo helped me to look at my options.
I even signed up for a course, but it was cancelled on the day - that was quite disappointing. I have small goals and big goals, and this was my small one. My mental health dropped and then I told her. Somehow, I could feel that she is feeling for me and then I was trying to tell her that I was going to be all right. Once I spoke to her, I was starting to feel that I can come back to this.
When you are in a different country, where you are surrounded with everything that is different, it is challenging. I felt not strong enough to do everything by myself. If I hadn’t joined this Mentoring Programme, I would have never thought I would be able to do something positive for myself.
My mentor is also learning from this, I think. She is learning how to deal with a different person, because it is just me and her… she is working with someone with a different mentality and different experiences.
When I was in high school, I left everything. I had issues - and I changed. Since then, my old me wasn’t there. But now having a mentor and thinking about getting back on track, it makes me believe that I have found myself again. I felt like that from the very beginning.
Maybe one day, I could also be able to be a mentor myself for someone. If I reach my first goal, and then my second, and if I learn the language a little bit better. I think it’s the best thing to do. It’s a pandemic and we are stuck at home. But for some people, even when it is not the pandemic, they might be stuck outside or stuck at home. There are so many people like me, who need mentors. It’s so useful to have someone to help you get back on track.
Maybe it would have been better if I met Routes earlier - but it is never too late!”
'Life through the Lens of Cake' - Catherine's Mentoring Journey
“If there is one thing I have learned over the last 15 months, it is the importance of connecting with and supporting others. But I wasn’t sure what to expect. What if we didn’t connect or have anything in common? What if our time together didn’t meet Lili’s expectations of the programme? What if we didn’t achieve what she had set out to do?”
In this blog post, Catherine Kirchmann (Divisional Director, Investec Wealth and Investment) shares moments and learnings from her mentoring journey so far… through the lens of cake!
“I was nervous about meeting Lili (not her real name) for the first time. I am not new to mentoring. I have been involved in a number of different programmes over the past few years – some formal, others less so. Each had always had either a work or own industry bias and were often quite specific in their focus – for me it felt like mentoring within my comfort zone. But this was different. What attracted me to the Routes mentoring programme was the opportunity to get to meet someone from a different background to my own. If there is one thing I have learned over the last 15 months, it is the importance of connecting with and supporting others. But I wasn’t sure what to expect. What if we didn’t connect or have anything in common? What if our time together didn’t meet Lili’s expectations of the programme? What if we didn’t achieve what she had set out to do?
My nervousness was unfounded. Lili and I hit it off from our first conversation. She is out-going and confident, and I found the conversation came quite easily to both of us. We learned a little about each other’s backgrounds on that first day and I found myself looking forward to finding out more about her and her goals in our second call. Routes ensures that mentors get a lot of support – from the wonderful Routes’ team; from their comprehensive training for mentors; from the extensive resource database; and from your fellow mentors with their shared experiences. I wanted to find out more about Lili and her goals, strengths, skills and passions and reflected back on some of the activities we had looked at on our first training day to get to know each other better. We concentrated on personal values and strengths and it soon became clear that Lili wanted to focus on framing the type of job and role she wants to work towards, and what she needs to do to get there. But before we knew it we were out of time and I was worried that we were making slow progress.
And that is where the cake comes in. Lili had mentioned that she likes to bake and promised to send me some photos of some of her recent cakes. Later that evening a message came through with photos of cakes that looked like they belonged in the window of a bakery. Reflected in those cakes I learned about Lili the wife, the mother, and the artist. There was the intricate tiered cake covered in pink flowers for her daughter’s birthday; the cake adorned with fruit and flowers to celebrate her husband’s birthday; the lovingly decorated cake to mark 20 years of marriage; and my favourite – the carefully crafted dinosaur cake which her young son looked at with sheer delight. By sharing these photos, Lili had given me a glimpse into her life and family and more of who she is and what she is capable of – all through the lens of cake. It made me realise that one of the measures of success of the programme will be the relationship we build and the time we take to get to know each other properly. Something that I don’t think I had always appreciated in my previous mentoring relationships. I am learning to judge progress in a different way and to celebrate the mini successes along the way.”
‘You can do it’ is something I will never forget
“I tried some of the things by myself before. I Googled, did this and that, but I didn’t know how to do it. When I told Emma about the UCAS thing… She made it look like ‘You can do it’. That is something I will never forget.”
In this blog post, Faridah shares her experience on the Routes Mentoring Programme so far: the highlights, challenges and the relationship with her mentor, Emma, who works for NHS England.
“I heard about the Mentoring Programme on the Routes social media pages. The fact is that I am a person seeking asylum here in the UK, I had so many questions, but no answers.
Issues I was thinking about were helping other women like me, how to join school, English language tests and be more involved in my community as a volunteer. Based on the above, I was sure that once Routes matched me with a mentor, all that was to be solved: I could start finding answers to my questions.
Before I met my mentor, I trusted that Routes would match me with someone who would meet my expectations. This was because Daisy from Routes made calls with me and also through email I had to explain what my goals were. I was confident I would get something in line with what I wanted.
Together with my mentor Emma, we are now working on how I can join university, English language tests, funding avenues and volunteering placements in line with my area of interest. It has been wonderful. We are people who help each other. She gives me my space to speak and share what I want, we discuss and we come up with something that is best for me. It is not one-sided and we do it together.
There are a few challenges we have to deal with. For example, some volunteering placements need a DBS check, which is hard to get as an asylum-seeker. Some funding organisations have age limits for one to qualify for their funding, and some universities have almost stopped taking new applicants for the year. The challenges push me to try harder: I will try and find a solution. I am always a positive person and will try to see what works best.
The Mentoring Programme has been an eye opener for me. I learned that there is some funding and programmes accessible to asylum-seekers. I also found out that I have to do an English test, even though I come from a country where English is also an official language.
We are now looking for different opportunities for gaining volunteer experience.
With the help of my mentor, so many questions have been answered.
I feel my mentor is also learning something from this. When we come across something, we both do research and then we compare notes. For example, researching things like volunteering opportunities or how to apply to university, we do hand-in-hand.
There are other groups where I volunteer. For example, now I can facilitate an event in line with what my mentor is doing professionally. I even invited Emma to come talk at an event together (with the organisation TimePeace). I invited her and she was really good - and I could do the facilitation.
I would advise both interested new mentors and mentees to go ahead and join the programme. The advantages are more than the challenges. When you are not from the UK, and you get a mentor who is from here or has a lot of experience, you can ask them questions on how they do things. It is very easy-going and you can easily ask them questions.
I tried some of the things by myself before. I Googled, did this and that, but I didn’t know how to do it. When I told Emma about the UCAS thing (Universities and Colleges Admissions Service), she made it look so easy. She made it look like ‘You can do it’. That is something I will never forget. It made me so happy!”
Celebrating our winter cohort, January 2021
A poem by Routes’ Mentoring Programme Producer, Wieke, for our fifth cohort.
On the evening of 28th January, mentors and mentees from our 2020-21 programme came together to connect and celebrate one another. Routes’ Mentoring Programme Producer, Wieke, wrote and performed this beautiful poem for the cohort, which we are proud to share with you!
Scroll down beneath the video to read the poem
Four months ago
Twenty journeys started
Forty women
Mentors and mentees
Had training
Met
While the leaves were falling
As captured by Mutiat’s camera
We never met in real life
But you met
On your screens
On your phones
Having meeting after meeting
Getting to know each other
Getting to know yourself
You worked on
Setting goals
Making a plan
Taking it forwards
University applications
English
Confidence
And getting to know the job market
While London was in lockdown
It wasn’t always easy -
There was fear about Corona
Loved ones to look after
Bad internet connections
But you kept going
Week after week
You had your meetings
Attended our sessions
Some of you read a book together
Some practised their make-up
Some joined a workshop
Some worked on CVs
You discussed your weekends and wellbeing
Talked about your homes, your hopes
Dreamt big
Learning from the skills of others
Discovering the strengths in yourself
You showed resilience
Creativity
Patience
Perseverance
Joy
As you talked about what may come next
And reached out to Routes if you needed it
And here we are
January 2021
Snow has fallen over the weekend
And it is sunny again
It is celebration time
Forty women
Coming together to celebrate
The achievements
Big and small
The lessons learned
The relationships built
We feel fulfilled
Satisfied that we could walk this journey with you
Grateful
That while we have never met
We have seen you reach out your hands to each other
And we will keep going
One step after the other
Into a London that will see spring again
Outside
Do you hear the birds sing?
They are cheering us on
They are welcoming a new season
They are celebrating
Because they know
That with support
Women empowering women
We are learning
We are growing
We are strong
By Wieke Vink, for our fifth cohort of mentors and mentees
Things I Find Beautiful: an Online Exhibition
An online exhibition by 2021-21 mentee, Mutiat. “Things I find beautiful is about seeing the beauty that surrounds us in our everyday life, being more aware of our surroundings, and finding the beautiful things in our community as we go about our daily lives.”
We are so pleased to be hosting this online exhibition of photos taken and curated by 2020-21 mentee, Mutiat, with the support of her mentor, Amelia.
We hope that these photos, and the words beneath them, will move you and help you to find the beauty around you.
Mutiat: Things I find beautiful is about seeing the beauty that surrounds us in our everyday life, being more aware of our surroundings, and finding the beautiful things in our community as we go about our daily lives.
I put together this collection of pictures from my everyday — from going out and being more aware of things I could find during my walk through the park or when I was out shopping, strolling out of boredom, or trying to find some inner peace and quiet.
Some of these pictures have deeper meaning for me and some of them are things I just find simply beautiful.
So enjoy and I hope that this helps you to also look around you and find something meaningful and beautiful every day.
For more information about the Routes Mentoring Programme, click here or get in touch!
"A wake up call to remember that I have a purpose" - Martha's mentoring story
In this beautiful blog, 2020 mentee Martha describes how mentoring can sometimes feel like a “wake up call to remember that I have a purpose to live and achieve.”
When I first heard about Routes, It was like an opportunity come through. I remember it was at Say It Loud Club in a women’s side workshop. It is when I sat attentively and listened to what Routes is and what they do. I was very interested and I noted her email and took home the flyer she distributed to us.
I signed up to the mentoring programme because I wanted to have my sense of direction back in terms of realignment to my life’s purpose. I really wanted to be matched with a mentor who would understand my confusion and help me get my feet back on track. I signed up so that I can be part of the Routes community, I wanted a safe space to belong as I grow. My worry was being deskilled as I await my asylum case to be heard, so I really wanted to be part of a programme that would help me get information about opportunities and valuable information to keep me occupied as I create impact in the UK community.
Before I met my mentor for the first time, I was really curious and eager to meet a person who would listen to me and wondered how we would start the journey and if we would be a perfect match with the same interests.
I am happy to note that my mentor is an amazing woman and we are both feminists, what a perfect match! She is a good listener, patient, organised and creative.
Currently, my mentor and I are working on my goals; applying to University, proof reading my personal statements and double checking if my actions are in line with my values and strengths. We also identify any obstacles along the way and amicably derive working strategies on how to overcome them.
Our meetings are definitely leading somewhere and I always look forward to meeting my mentor each week. They are yielding and one meeting leads to the other, I describe it as climbing the ladder and we are almost reaching to the top where the view will be more beautiful.
About the progress we are making; I was able to identify my values and strengths. These were then aligned to my goal for the mentoring programme. I was able to identify the Universities and which courses I am interested in plus the scholarships to these courses. I have managed to write personal statements and edit them. My mentor has done a good job to help me proofread and guide me accordingly. I was looking into finding volunteering opportunities too and talking to my mentor has helped me be confident on what to expect in interviews, she has helped me to brainstorm on what to include in my cover letters. This guidance from her professional point of view has helped me to critically think for myself and to be logical and practical when talking about my experience.
For the challenges; I can say not everyday is a Sunday and some days will come bright while others come dark and for the darkest of time you have to pull yourself out of the ditch to rise again like a giant. Some days I find myself not motivated because of worries out of my control for instance wondering what the future will be like especially in my situation of seeking safety in the UK. On those anxious days it's really hard to push myself but the email reminders from my mentor asking about progress on my tasks gives me a wake up call to remember that I have a purpose to live and achieve.
By the end of the programme, I hope to have submitted my university applications for September 2021. I also hope to be more confident and be able to work on other personal development projects by myself even after the programme ends.
I encourage everyone who wants to join Routes mentoring programme and as mentee that do not hesitate to join the collective efforts of empowering women because it is your input that makes history, at the same impacting someone’s life for a lifetime. It is a life long learning experience you should not miss to incorporate in your life or professional journey. It is worth the try, bring it on and let us do this!
Last but not least, I think mentoring is a good opportunity for women seeking safety in a way that it helps you realise your potential, in case you have lost hope, it makes you find your purpose and definitely it helps you integrate in the community as you become part of a group that is known for creating impact; that alone builds your credibility in society. Mentoring puts you back on track and you can always refer to that experience even in the future for inspiration. It is a life long learning process you can never regret.
Thank you for reading my article.
Written By Martha Atuheire
"I feel more peaceful" - Zhaneta's Mentoring Journey
2020 mentee, Zhaneta, shares her experience of the Routes mentoring programme, and how it is helping her to overcome her fear of speaking in public, whilst supporting her in her goal to help other expectant mothers.
2020 mentee, Zhaneta, shares her experience of the Routes mentoring programme, and how it is helping her to overcome her fear of speaking in public, whilst supporting her in her goal to help other expectant mothers.
I heard about the Routes Programme from [a charity supporting new and expectant mums]. In this Community, I'm doing voluntary work in helping other mums in difficult situations.
I'm very happy that they could help me to find an amazing staff and positive people in the Routes programme. I started in this programme at the end of September. After just two months with you guys I'm proud of myself. Now, we are at the end of November and I can do more to achieve my goals. Without your help this wouldn't be possible in such a short time.
I especially want to talk a bit about my mentor. In easy words I can say that she is a woman who has managed to be very successful in helping me. She is an amazing woman with a beautiful heart. She always does her best and gives me lots of courage and good advice to think positively about myself and to be confident.
At the moment I’m in training with [the charity I volunteer with] and I do practice with her before the training: my problem is that sometimes I feel shy during public speaking and she is helping me to not think like this. Catrin told me that my English is very good and she can understand everything that I'm saying. After each meeting with her I feel more peaceful and ready to do the training or to speak with other people. She sends me some links about confidence. They are really helpful. Everyday in the morning I’m doing practice to be confident. She teaches me to relax my mind before I have to speak in public.
Also, we are both pregnant and we share our experiences and difficult situations during pregnancy. Together, we are doing practice for breathing. We do practice in helping ourselves during the labour.
Catrin found for me a course for Doulas. I would like to be a Doula in supporting pregnant women and new mums that had difficult situations like mine in the past. This course, which is starting with an introduction workshop in the beginning of December, is free, without payment. I can't wait to join the workshop and to learn new skills.
I'm very emotional that I've started such great things for my future. With you, I'm sure that I can realise all of my goals by the end of January 2021.
"Connect and be kind" - Catrin's Mentoring Journey
2020 mentor Catrin shares her experience on the Routes mentoring programme, and how mentoring can have a truly mutual impact.
2020 mentor Catrin shares her experience on the Routes mentoring programme, and how mentoring can have a truly mutual impact.
I signed up to the Routes mentoring programme as I had quite a lot of free time and wanted to do something exciting, new and rewarding. I was excited about the training opportunities Routes provide, meeting and sharing ideas with the network of other women, learning mentoring skills and helping my mentee achieve her goals.
I am passionate about supporting refugees and asylum seekers, especially women. The Routes mentoring programme is a great opportunity to form a more personal, one on one meaningful relationship with my mentee and make a difference in each others lives. I was also keen to build my own confidence and listening and communication skills by supporting someone else.
I was excited about the first meeting with Zhaneta. I had been briefed on how she described herself and what her goals were and it felt like we already had quite a bit in common. I was a bit apprehensive that I might not be able to help her achieve her goals as much as I wanted to.
I had thought of a few ice breaker questions and exercises in order to get the conversation flowing but we didn’t end up using them! We hit it off straight away and had lots to talk about, including the fact that we are both pregnant; that was a great ice breaker.
Zhaneta is such an open, generous and warm person. The conversation flowed and was relaxed. We were both smiling a lot! I felt inspired and energised by Zhaneta and our session, and was already looking forward to the next one.
In our sessions we are working on confidence building, English language; mainly feeling more confident speaking in public to larger groups, and positive thinking and mindset. We are also working on positive thinking around birth. They all seem to tie in well together.
We are using positive affirmations and journaling as a tool to feel more confident. Zhaneta is preparing in between our sessions and practising her English with me; talking about topics she is passionate and has experience in, that she then shares in a training session she attends every week for the charity she volunteers with. She has a great way of expressing herself and I remind her that it doesn’t matter if her grammar isn’t always perfect; what she has to say is important and her experience and passion comes across clearly.
We have focused on positive statements that she can tell herself when she feels nervous and we’ve also have done some work on breathing and posture in order to feel less nervous and more confident.
I am also learning a lot from Zhaneta in regards to being a first time Mum, pregnancy and labour. Zhaneta is very passionate about supporting other pregnant women who have been in a similar situation to her. She is already volunteering for [a charity supporting mums] and we have been discussing and looking at other options and courses for her to learn more skills and get more experience.
I often think it would be really nice to meet face to face, rather than on Zoom, but we are making the most of the different situation. In a way it works well for both of us. We both hope to meet up next year, with our babies, when it’s safe to do so!
There have been lots of highlights. I love sharing our pregnancy experiences and asking Zhaneta for advice and sharing what I am learning too. I like sharing and practising positive affirmations. I’ve enjoyed hearing Zhaneta share her personal strengths and seeing her realise that she has a lot! Her passion and determination inspires me and watching her confidence building in each session.
I have done quite a bit of volunteering but Routes really stands out due to the training and support we are given as mentors. Mentors share ideas and advice which is great. There is also a clear set of boundaries around what our role entails.
I am hoping the mentoring experience with Routes will help me to find work in the charity sector in the future. This is something I have thought about exploring, more recently. I feel even more passionate about helping women and refugee and asylum seekers after my mentoring experience with Zhaneta and seeing the difference mentoring can make to the mentor and mentee.
Many refugees and asylum seekers feel isolated here; without family or many friends or support and in a new country. This time has been even more isolating and hard for many people and I feel it’s more important than ever to connect with people and to be kind. I know that having a conversation with someone who champions you and makes you feel seen and supported can really help. Thinking and talking about the future positively and having future goals is also really important, and I think mentoring really helps with this.
Life as a migrant in the UK
2019/20 mentee Suzane shares some thoughts and reflections on how mentoring gave her the confidence to grow and develop in her new life in the UK, from train rides, to ice skating and using a computer for the first time!
Gaining confidence as a migrant in the UK, thanks to Routes
The UK is a beautiful country with lovely places to visit. It’s full of life, full of light, full of love, full of good and bad people. Full of good opportunities. Full of beautiful things like nice cars, clean buses, good roads, lovely buildings, great schools, and a big, amazing shopping centre.
You might not know all these things if you haven't had the opportunity to discover them - I was able to because I met Routes. There are lots of charities like them, but Routes helped me find something that was missing. If I am confident today, and it’s because they helped me build myself up. They got me a mentor.
My first mentor was very understanding, collaborative and patient. And I was lucky enough to have a second mentor afterwards. She was as friendly and important as my first.
During my mentoring programme, I was able to travel around central London by train. I got lost finding my way, I cried when I was running late, but in the end all those things gave me wealth. Because eventually, I learned how to get the train, and I learned not to panic. I learned to ask for help whenever I got lost. It’s difficult to explore when you’re worrying about travel money - but Routes gave me the confidence to try without fear by helping with train tickets (whether I got lost or not)!
(Above: Suzane and her mentor, Eszter at their End of Programme Celebration, 2019)
My mentor was there to help me find myself and to help me speak out. She encouraged me by giving me magazines like Vogue and Magnify. Their words were inspirational, powerful and elegant. And Vanity Fair showed me designer things like Prada handbags and Chanel jumpsuits for romantic nights out. Reading magazines helped me to read and write about what I found interesting. This was an amazing way to find out the things I loved. We did things like ice-skating, movies, dinner, walking around central London, to museums and more. All these things helped me because I'm a migrant and I had no experience of traveling, so I had the fear of meeting or talking to people. I thank God because now I feel confident.
My second mentor helped me to have the confidence to use a computer, with no panic of damaging it. She was so patient, and very good at explaining things to me. This was during the lockdown period, where we couldn't meet each other; but she managed to explain how to use a keyboard, how to install WhatsApp, Zoom and more. I also had the privilege to have a laptop and an internet dongle from Routes.
(Above: mentors and mentees at the End of Programme Celebration, 2020)
Routes is a beautiful charity with lots of different things to do. On Thursday’s we also have workshops over Zoom called Unlocking Joy. We have activities like yoga which helps me relax and think about myself, and creative writing and poetry which helps me think about my feelings. I wrote a poem called Dulwich Park, which I love so much. I love it because it was one of the first things I wrote, and whenever I read it, I feel like I’m back in that park and it makes me so happy. The staff at Routes are so understanding and friendly, and I am grateful to have them in my life because they’re helping me go through my hard time, and to achieve my goals in the UK. I just want to use this opportunity to say thank you to Routes. I feel special and grateful to have Routes in my journey of life here in London. Really, thank you.
Written by Suzane, with the support of Emily Howard.
“We are stronger together”
“I think mentoring is important especially for women seeking safety because it provides a sense of direction, healing and comfort. It is like a drawing board you always go back to re-trace, re-evaluate, rebuild, re-design and restore your steps so as to achieve your goals…”
Elizabeth’s Mentoring Journey
It’s the start of December and we have just passed the half way point of our second virtual mentoring programme! In this interview with Daisy from Routes, current mentee Elizabeth shares her thoughts, experiences and reflections on her mentoring journey so far…
Daisy: How did you hear about the programme and why did you sign up?
Elizabeth: I heard about Routes from my close friend, who in turn had heard about it from another friend of ours who had attended the programme before. I signed up to the Mentoring programme for self improvement.
I hope to be a better woman than I was before I joined the programme. A better communicator, writer and public speaker. All these are life skills that I will continuously use at university, the work place, at home, with friends among others.
D: What were you thinking before you met your mentor for the first time?
E: I was shy nevertheless I was excited about meeting a new person, working together and learning from each other, sharing bits and pieces of our life stories and goals.
My Mentor was happy about meeting me. For me, she’s the epitome of humility. Always smiling. Hardworking. Patient. A great listener. A problem solver. I could go on and on and on and on…
D: What are you working on with your mentor?
E: We are working on achieving my goals, that is improving my communication, writing and public speaking skills. For example, we do book reviews where we talk about the books we have both read at every meeting. This has helped in improving my grammar, public speaking and communication.
And also we both recently found out that we are into knitting. Yay! We’ve shared our different pieces of work at our meetings. I always look forward to them.
We continuously meet bi-weekly for one hour. My mentor and I have been able to work on my Personal Statement, a Hardship Fund application and also help with looking up several universities and have gone ahead to apply. Currently we are working on scholarship applications.
D: Have you faced any challenges in your mentoring so far?
E: The fact that we are unable to meet in person is challenging as this only leaves us with the option of meeting virtually. This is great although technology comes with its own network issues especially with weather changes such as during or after a heavy downpour, windy situations too.
D: Why do you think mentoring is important?
E: I think mentoring is important especially for women seeking safety because it provides a sense of direction, healing and comfort. It is like a drawing board you always go back to re-trace, re-evaluate, rebuild, re-design and restore your steps so as to achieve your goals. Like fuel that propels you out of your comfort zone and move towards being a better person.
Mentoring is that one safe space that shields you from the storm when you are in a hard place. It is where you meet other women/people with arms stretched out wide to you, encouraging you, praying for you, working with you and cheering you on at the end of the valley’s rim. Sometimes, they bend and break the rules a little so as to comfortably suit your needs along the journey.
When we began this adventure called “womanhood’, we had no idea of the incredible joys or sorrows that lay ahead nor did we know how much we would need each other. Every day, we need each other still. We are stronger together!
D: What would you say to someone who wanted to join the programme as a Mentee or as a Mentor?
E: I would encourage them to register and join the programme and also invite as many other women as possible to do the programme too, as this will help propel them to greater heights.
Our next programme will run from March to July 2021. If you would like to take part, click below to find out more…
Mentoring Stories: Mariana Sastre
“Meetings with my mentee are a weekly highlight and it’s a connection I value all the more given the distancing and uncertainty of recent times.”
In this blog, 2020 mentor Mariana (Street Circus Co-ordinator at the Roundhouse) shares her experience with her mentee, Farah* (not her real name) as they approach the programme’s halfway point.
“We’ve reached the halfway point on the Routes mentoring programme and already it‘s been an inspiring and important journey. Meetings with my mentee are a weekly highlight and it’s a connection I value all the more given the distancing and uncertainty of recent times.
Joining the programme
I decided to apply for the programme after holding a workplace lunch and learn session led by Routes and attending a performance by Routes project participants of I Am Alive – The Power of Women. Routes does incredible work and I was excited to hear about how I could get involved with the mentoring scheme.
As it would be my first mentoring experience, I was initially unsure of what to expect from our meetings. Adding to this, the situation with COVID-19 meant that the mentoring training delivered by Routes and meetings with my mentee Farah would all be via digital platforms. As it turns out, video meetings have worked surprisingly well, and we’ve still been able to meet regularly and make progress on Farah’s goals – though we do of course look forward to being able to one day meet in person.
The training for mentors was useful and included practical exercises that I’ve since used in meetings with my mentee and will carry forward, particularly around identifying and setting goals. Overall there is a lot of support available throughout the programme: the Routes team and other mentors in the cohort have been great at sharing tips and resources, such as TED talks and exercises, and helping with questions that come up along the way.
The highlights so far
Farah and I hit it off straight away, and this seems to have been the experience of many other mentors/mentees on the programme. We both have arts backgrounds and are passionate about the potential for creative projects to bring positive change. It’s been a highlight having our interests and experience matched so well and I really look forward to our chats each week. I’ve definitely found Farah’s creativity, adventurous spirit and compassion for others inspiring. It’s been great to learn from each other, navigate new challenges and celebrate successes together along the way.
So far, our meetings have focused on Farah’s goals as she writes her next film proposal. I’ve worked with her on building a database of online resources for funding, networking and skills development. We’ve also had good experiences of looking into translation and how to remove barriers around this. This is important for Farah’s work as a writer and more widely in making opportunities more accessible. A highlight so far has been working together on a successful application for funding to be used towards a translator. We’ve also been working with online translation tools to translate websites and application forms which quickly gave us greater freedom to access more routes for working towards Farah’s goals.
Looking ahead
I’m really glad to be a Routes mentor. So far the programme has offered the professional and personal development I hoped for and the opportunity to forge a valued connection with Farah. I would encourage anyone considering applying for the next cohort to do so – it’s a great experience and we need more programmes like these that support and empower women to achieve goals and build connections. “
The future looks bright: Diana's mentoring journey
“Mentorship is important because it empowers you to become more confident to make the right decisions and to identify goals and establish a sense of direction.”
Diana is a mentee on our first digital mentoring programme. Two months in, she reflects on her experience with her mentor Antonella. You can read Antonella’s story here.
I signed up to the mentorship programme because I felt that it would add much needed value in specific areas in my life and career. I had never been part of such a programme before but I was looking forward to getting a mentor that would help me identify the skills needed and help me navigate through my desired career. I also noted that the programme was all about women supporting women to grow together, and I was not going to miss an opportunity to be part of that.
I was a bit nervous before my first meeting with Antonella because it was my first time having a mentor, but at the same time excited because I knew I was making progress towards my desired career.
I had initially wanted to focus on fashion and retail. After our second meeting, I received my work permit and all the jobs available there fall under the Shortage Occupation List. Unfortunately none of the jobs listed were in my career bracket. We narrowed down to one course (Social Work) that suited my skills and personality. I had to enrol in University to study the course and we have just finished applying to the different universities through UCAS and are now waiting for them to get back to us.
I have learnt so many new things so far, like the effort and work it takes to apply to university in this country. However, all this was easier because I had my mentor helping and guiding me through it all. I’ve also come to appreciate the importance of having someone who is routing for you to win by cheering you on and giving you positive criticism and feedback.
I had to go back to the drawing board and reorganise myself with the cards that life had dealt me with when I realized that I couldn't work in my area of study or fashion and retail. Despite the disappointment, we decide to make the best out of it. At the moment, the challenge we are facing is trying to get a suitable scholarship that will help me cover my tuition and accommodation costs.
I hope that by the end of the programme I would have gotten a placement in university and a scholarship to top it up. I also hope that Antonella and I will remain friends because she will always be my mentor, and that we will finish this journey together because the future looks bright.
I have gained valuable advice and knowledge from my mentor who's obviously more experienced. Antonella has also created opportunities to build my network of professional contacts in the career that I want to pursue, i.e. she put me in contact with a mental health social worker who gave me a lot of insight on the career.
Mentorship is important because it empowers you to become more confident to make the right decisions and to identify goals and establish a sense of direction.
Mentoring stories: Sabrina Bals
Sabrina joined the Routes Mentoring Programme for two reasons. ‘I wanted to practise my mentoring and coaching skills and gain another perspective. The Programme provides a chance of learning about other people’s experiences firsthand and of challenging your own assumptions…’
Sabrina Bals is a Strategy Consultant at Accenture and was a mentor on the Routes Mentoring Programme 2019/20. In this interview, she shares some of her experiences and lessons learned.
Sabrina joined the Routes Mentoring Programme for two reasons, ‘I wanted to practise my mentoring and coaching skills and gain another perspective. The Programme provides a chance to learn about other people’s experiences firsthand and to challenge your own assumptions. I also wanted to learn how to approach a mentoring conversation.’
Sabrina was paired with Yasmin, who wanted to work on her communication skills. ‘During the very first session, we talked through Yasmin’s ambitions and goals. That first session was about getting to know each other and understanding what we wanted to get out of the sessions. What does it mean to improve your communication skills? What situations are we thinking of? From there on, the sessions developed organically, with different areas that we had identified to focus on.’
Sabrina looks back at the experience with joy. ‘We got along really well.’ Their cooperation was what Sabrina describes as a ‘peer mentoring situation.’ ‘I would share stories and experiences from my career and she has all these experiences and the challenges that she has overcome.’
The two of them worked on communication in different ways, making use of Sabrina’s expertise and online resources. ‘I found some good videos on communication skills on YouTube. We looked at them together and would then discuss.’ The sessions would flow from such exercises. ‘Yasmin is very intelligent and extremely reflective. That has been brilliant!’
There were two meetings that stood out for Sabrina. ‘We went to a workshop called ‘Big Speeches’ [by actor Jessica Regan and The Guilty Feminist]. That was a special thing to do together. During the last session, we worked on presentation skills. Each of us came prepared with a little presentation and we gave each other feedback. Yasmin did one on Human Resources Management and I did a presentation on my degree.’
While Yasmin learned about communication skills, Sabrina learned about mentoring. ‘At first, I wanted to provide a full curriculum, to make sure Yasmin would get the most out of our time together. I learned that that is not always what is needed and it sometimes is more valuable to explore topics and learn together. Meeting with other mentors was also really useful, to learn from their experiences on the Programme.’
What helped during the mentoring journey of Sabrina and Yasmin, was their personal connection. ‘We have similar character types. Routes had matched us well with our mentees.’ And so the end of the Programme has not meant the end of their relationship. ‘I have been staying in touch with Yasmin. It is not the easiest for her to be locked in [because of COVID-19].’
Working with Yasmin has been a valuable experience for Sabrina. ‘She is an example of amazing resilience - making the best of what is available to her. That is an attitude that everyone could learn from.’