‘The human side of leadership’ - reflections from mentor Dee

Deepali (Dee) Desphande is Product Manager at Investec, and joined our 9th Mentoring cohort as a mentor. She was paired with mentee Mafusi, for 4 months of mentoring from October 2022 to February 2023. Find her reflections on Routes’ mentoring, and the lessons she learned from it, below.

" Hope is the thing with feathers-

That perches in the Soul -

And sings the tunes without the words -

And never stops - at all- "

- Emily Dickinson

It all started with an initiative on our work intranet, mentioning the Routes Mentoring Programme. This initiative caught my eye, because The Routes programme resonated with the purpose and values that are important to me at work. As I looked into the details I was intrigued and also slightly overwhelmed to find out the cause of the initiative: working with women who have experience of displacement.

I decided to apply and see where it took me. I felt like I was not fully prepared for what I was taking on. AlI I had was determination to try and make a difference to someone’s life, and learn something valuable myself as I went on this journey.

I myself have had quite a varied career so far. I started off as a Graphic Designer and Content Developer. Now I work at Investec and I have also recently started some coaching training. I was hoping that some of my experience might be relevant to someone else exploring their options, and I was really interested to learn more about Routes’ approach to mentoring. I was delighted when I got an email saying I was selected for the programme and I was found a match.

We had our first training session for mentors and I was blown away. Routes made the content empathetic and broke it down, so that we understood our responsibilities and boundaries. I loved the structure of the programme, because it touched upon a lot of practical side of things and gave us a lot of pointers on how to handle difficult situations. The training equipped me to go in with eyes wide open and some knowledge about the difficult systems mentees have to negotiate.

While I was very excited to meet my mentee Mafusi, I was a bag of nerves. I prepared for my first session like a diligent student. However, in my first session I realised that this session was going to be very different from the mentoring sessions I have had in the corporate world. I kept my notes aside and Mafusi and I set off on a journey.

This journey led us to become confidants. I was humbled with the amount of trust Mafusi put in me during these sessions, by sharing her life experiences.  I felt privileged to be a part of this process that we both trusted and the safe space we created for each other. We soon found things to talk about, that brought joyful memories back for Mafusi.

Mafusi wanted to work on her personal leadership, and next steps. We found creative ways to work on that. For example, one of the goals we carved out was for Mafusi to write a recipe from back home. The recipe is more than measurements and ingredients. It’s a part of Mafusi’s heritage, her culture and her family. It has history associated to food and where it comes from. Mafusi took time to put a lot of details in the recipe and it was a proud moment for both of us. It was a tangible output of our discussions and she proudly held it with a smile. 

From thereon, our relationship flourished. We set up further goals and identified small steps to tackle them. We met some challenges along the way, but we never lost our nerve or hope. I had excellent support from Routes when I was worried, which made me feel better and keep calm. Routes are very well equipped to handle challenging situations and find ways to support both mentors and mentees.

I am very proud of what Mafusi has achieved and how much I have learnt about myself through these past few weeks. I have been in leadership roles and have been quite mindful of the human side of the leadership. These sessions and training and Routes gave me another dimension to mentoring and leadership. Now if there is a problem; I try to understand the root of the problem rather than fixing the symptom. I have since incorporated some of the learnings to understand the team members better which helped create a cohesive work environment.

Another major learning was about experiences of people seeking safety in the UK. My time with Routes provided me with a perspective on how things are organised, and what that means for people’s lives.

The learnings I have had in the past four months will stay with me and have reinforced my desire to become Life Coach. I would like to work with women to build their confidence - be it in corporate space, coming back to work or just finding the spark they have lost. Every woman is confident and capable of achieving great things. Sometimes all we need is a little help to tap into our potential. If I can be that person and make even 1% difference to people’s lives, it will be rewarding.

There is a quote from a poem by Emily Dickinson that I really like. It talks about ‘Hope being the thing with feathers’. I hope I can provide a bit of that for someone in conversation. Mentoring and coaching can be so powerful for that.

Some news from Routes

Written by Routes Co-Founder Daisy Jacobs, 20th March 2023

Dear friends and supporters of Routes. I'm writing today to share some big news, which is that I will be stepping down from my day to day role at Routes on 19th April 2023. 

This has been such a hard decision to make, but I have decided that now is the right time for me to make this change. I am so incredibly proud of our work at Routes, and of everything that we have built with our inspiring, committed and visionary team and board over the last five years. I am also very grateful to have had their full support in navigating this time of transition. Whilst I will be stepping down from my day to day role, I am so excited to be continuing to support and champion our work as a member of the board.

Photo above of the Routes team and board at our end of year celebration meal 2022

As well as being a Routes board member, my next steps will involve taking some time to rest, before embarking on a Churchill travel fellowship later this year (you can read more about that here!). At Routes, I'm delighted that Leyla will be stepping into the role of Founding Director, to continue leading the organisation towards our mission, and our formidable programmes team will keep delivering high quality, impactful programmes for the women we work with. We are also very excited to be welcoming a new Head of Business Development and Partnerships into the team very soon - watch this space for more on that!

As we mark Routes' fifth birthday, I feel very sad to be taking a step back from the direct delivery of the work we do, but equally so energised to know that there are people in the organisation who will keep driving us towards our mission. At a time when the day to day reality of the hostile asylum system is getting increasingly harsh, compassion, care and intentionality are more needed than ever. I know that our team will continue to create the impact we want to see, with joy and deep thought, and I am so proud to be staying on the board to continue to support our impact.

Photo above from our first in person event after the pandemic: 'Routes: From Screen to Stage'

Some words from the board 

"We as Routes board members, want to thank Daisy for their immeasurable contribution to our organisation and community since its inception five years ago. It has been a privilege to witness their enthusiasm, compassion and skill. Daisy has been fundamental in developing innovative, uplifting and person-centred programmes for women with experience of seeking safety in the UK, and has driven our collective strategy and mission. The passion and ability to foster meaningful connection that is at the core of all Daisy’s work, is what makes Routes such an extraordinary organisation. We unanimously support Daisy’s decision to step down from their role as Executive Director, and are delighted that we will continue to benefit from their insight on the board in future. We wish Daisy every success in their next endeavours."

Some words from Leyla

“Routes has come a long way since we started in 2018, and it wouldn't have been possible to get to where we are now without Daisy. I'm so grateful for the collaboration, friendship and impact that has come out of working together, and so proud of what we have achieved in these past five years. I fully support Daisy's decision to step back, and I’m also excited to continue our working with them on the board of Routes.

I’m energised and excited to continue Routes' mission alongside our wonderful team. Routes will continue to fight for a UK where every woman who has sought asylum can build a fulfilling life. We know we want to support even more women over the next five years, and continue to do so with individualised and joyful support. The recent proposed changes to the asylum process will make life even more difficult for those seeking safety, but we will continue to innovate in the face of an ever-changing and increasingly hostile system.”

Photo above from our sixth mentoring programme celebration with mentors and mentees during the pandemic

Staying in touch

I will continue to be reachable on my Routes email address until 19th April, after which point I encourage you to reach out to Leyla, or another member of our team. Please also connect with me on LinkedIn if you'd like to stay in touch, and make sure to follow Routes on social media (LinkedIn / Twitter / Instagram) to stay up to date with our work!

Finally, I'd like to say thank you so much to everyone that I have had the privilege to work with and learn from in my day-to-day role over the last five years: from the 300+ mentors and mentees I have had the pleasure to meet and support, the 70+ organisations that have put their faith in our programmes, the inspiring facilitators and creatives who have shaped our work, and the countless coaches, champions and friendly faces that have supported both my personal growth and the growth of Routes since 2018. I hope you will continue to support and celebrate our work in the years to come, as I will. I truly can't wait to see how Routes continues to grow and flourish over the coming years, and am honoured to be staying a part of it.

With gratitude,

Daisy

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'I have always wanted to be an architect' - Linda's Mentoring Journey

This blog post was written by mentee Linda, who graduated from the Routes Mentoring Programme in February 2023, after four months of mentoring with her mentor. Find out more about the programme by reading the blog post below and exploring our website!

My name is Linda.

I have heard about Routes Mentoring Programme through Say It Loud Club, a kind charity which helps refugees and asylum seekers in need. I joined the programme because I wanted to be part of something beautiful and amazing. It proved me right.

From the time I remember, I have always wanted to be an architect. I have always been attracted to art, design, and drawing. I arrived in the UK in 2010 and got my bachelor’s degree in 2014 in Business of Arts. At the time, I did not have the opportunity to study design. From 2015 to 2021, life was tough because of personal issues. Until I got introduced to Routes in 2022, I was mentally low.

Before joining the programme, I had not had a mentor before. As a result, I was very much excited, apprehensive (a bit nervous too) the first time we met. It was via Zoom, and all went wonderfully well. How would it not be? My mentor Alexandra is an architect. A very nice person.

Alexandra shared with me so many things. I have enjoyed the online free drawing lessons offered at Artyfactory.com. I have learned some technique skills required to draw which I had not a clue on how to start initially. We also discussed master classes architects such as Giancarlo De Carlo and Frank Gehry whose works are total wonder. I have come to realise, architecture is not only a structural edifice of buildings, but something deeper as it affects society on a high level. Architecture brings happiness into people’s life.

My mentor Alexandra also encouraged me to apply for a bursary in Design subject in a London University, which I happily did. Hopefully I will get my portfolio ready in time for the interview which again, I hope, will be successful. 

The Routes Mentoring Programme has been a wonderful experience which I will forever be grateful for because it gives me the opportunity to meet kind-hearted people, people who bring light into people’s life, people I knew not existed in today’s world. Before Routes, I would not have dreamt of getting close to my dream job. Now however, I am filled with hope, optimism, and confidence in reaching my goal one day. I will not finish without mentioning Routes’ educational programmes which have been so helpful in building up my confidence.

To Routes mentoring programme, I just want to say thank you.

'Foggy Mornings' - A poem

Starting with our fifth cohort back in 2021, our Head of Programmes Wieke has written poems to celebrate the end of the journeys of each graduating cohort of mentors and mentees.

In ‘Foggy Mornings’, written for our ninth cohort, she reflects on the languages of mentoring, and the web of support that our mentors, mentees, team and partners are a part of, both during and after their time with us.

You can watch and hear Wieke performing the poem in the video, or read the words below. We hope you enjoy it as much as we do.

Foggy mornings

Celebrating Our 9th Cohort, February 2023

It’s been winter in London

So we’ve seen foggy mornings

Their miracles and stillness

With weather changing from north to west

Some already up, others still at rest

All of you sharing some of your best

In four months of mentoring

And so this is a time for gathering

As we are meeting here

To mark the end of your mentoring

And the start of spring

With daffodils popping up in the parks

This is a poem for celebration

It’s a poem for you all

As we come together

Last week online – or today in East London

For Bethnal Green is the place of Routes

The place where we put our roots

After the pandemic

And where we welcomed all of you in

With a Tech Day to begin

With a Mentee Launch and Mentor Training

And off you went, into your buddies and pairs

With so many dreams

– some new,

and some ready to repair

For the fog is also there

Helping us

To envision what may lay behind its drops

That which we cannot yet see

We know it’s there

It’s possibility

Things from before

Or new mysteries

To connect, or re-connect with

New routes

Waiting for us

As you’ve opened doors

Into new parts of your goals

Into new parts of your learning

As you spent your time -

Looking at courses

Gearing back into engineering

Finding ways to combine work with care

Or combine them into social work or healthcare

Thinking about law or psychology

Getting back into art

Combining mentoring with college

Or looking after little ones – or both

And so

After lots of time to deliberate

Today it’s time to celebrate

Your journey of connectivity

In your pairs, 1:1

With exercises, brave sharing, and fun

In the moments across 4 months’ time

With the rest of this group, with MP9

With public speaking in the Anson Room

Blog writing for lunchtime

Online communication online

Taking it Forwards on a Thursday

And in collaboration with us, the team at Routes

In worksheets and over WhatsApp

With Tamana Jan always being there

Reading your messages with so much care

Providing travel top ups

For an in -person chance

To look at your plans

And with that

We keep in mind

The things we cannot control

Within the means of this mentoring

The structures and systems

Adding additional stressors

And so we bring

Presence

Shared thinking

And practical help

Monthly updates and the Workspace

Linking to our Resources Database

Filled with opportunities, organisations

And things to talk through

Including some suggested by you

As together, you grew and grew

So congratulations to all of you

As your talents shone through

Each of you bringing different strengths to the mix

As we know there is no easy fix

But lots and lots of great things to work on

And while the clocks might be set on Greenwich

There’s many ways to write an alphabet

As you found your own ways of working

With your partner, with your cohort and with Routes

With all of you becoming

Both students

And ambassadors

of mentoring

Of relationship-based learning

Of step-by-step success

Some picking up a book to share

Others catching a nice podcast mid-air

Or thinking through a tree of life

And

Facilitators sharing their wisdom in workshops

With multilingualism being your superpower

As we hold so many languages amongst ourselves

Some of you doing meetings in your fourth language

Speaking up and listening

With all parts of our brains

And if we trace

The sounds of our speech

Across the globe

We know we hold so much of the world

In our words

And so

On behalf of Routes

I’d like to say a muchas gracias and shukran kteer

In all the languages that you hold dear

Thank you for your trust

And for being here

And when the future seems unclear

Let’s remember

We can embrace those sounds and our shared interests

Across industries and regional dialects

And the strengths of our vocabs

Like the spider’s web

We are creating here today in this room

The threads

Fragile but steadfast

It’s beauty visible

In the foggy mornings

And when systems are trying to keep us disconnected

Let’s keep clarity of vision

Let’s aspire to become architects

And design new ways of being

For when we look in the mirror now

When we catch our reflection

When we catch our breath

As we walk down the streets

And see ourselves reflected back

In a shop’s window

The face of your workplace

Or in a waterdrop

We see a connected community

We see what belonging can be

A group of people

Holding the threads of that web

Looking inwards

Stretching out

Celebrating London from north to south

Building bridges of kindness

Being willing to act

And also taking time to reflect

And so we know

For your next steps

Beauty awaits

Big and small

As it has been created by you all

Written and performed by Wieke Vink, Head of Programmes, Routes

Reverse Mentoring with UBS

Reflections on the pilot of the Routes Reverse Mentoring Programme, from Co-Founder Daisy Jacobs.

It is an early September evening and the dark is settling in earlier than it has for the past few months. As it does, a dozen people gather in the Broadgate offices of UBS, dressed ready for a celebration. As more people arrive and drinks and food are laid out, the chatter turns from nervous to excited, slowly bubbling until it fills the room. For many here tonight, this is the first time they are meeting face to face, after three months of online relationship building, digging deep into each other's values, goals and interests, and working to see things from the other's perspective. 

This is the celebration event for the first cohort of Routes' 'Reverse Mentoring Programme', in partnership with UBS.

(Pictured above, Routes Co-Founders Daisy and Leyla speaking to Routes Mentors and UBS Mentees at the start of the Celebration Event.)

As the sun was going down outside and we enjoyed the delicious spread put on by UBS, we listened to heartwarming reflections, and inspiring stories of new relationships built. We heard about pairs connecting through each other's commitment to lifelong learning and growth, and celebrating each other's humility and empathy. Pairs reflected that their self-awareness had grown, both in areas of strengths and weaknesses, but also in an understanding of their values and beliefs. Though mentors and mentees on the programme have hugely different life experiences, we heard pairs reflect on feeling seen and understood by their partners, and that they had connected through shared values and experiences, understanding the many similarities between them, as well as the differences. 

Everyone in the room could see that they had brought something to their partner, and that they had been changed and challenged by them too. A few of the pairs have already committed to staying in touch, and continuing their mentoring outside of the programme… and as big believers in the power of relationships to create long lasting change, this feels like a huge success for us!

The Context

Since 2018, we have been running mentoring programmes with mutual impact. We have supported over 120 women mentees from refugee and asylum seeking backgrounds to grow towards their personal and professional goals, with the support of more than 120 professional women mentors from more than 50 different organisations. The impact is two fold: mentees are supported and championed to grow in confidence and reach their goals, whilst their mentors are supported and championed to develop an empowering and impactful set of leadership skills, with the support of the Routes team and in partnership with their mentee. Year on year we have seen the mutual impact that these relationships have, and we wondered whether we could take that impact even further… Which is why we launched our first Reverse Mentoring Programme.

This programme was an opportunity for alumni mentees of our flagship programme (women from refugee and asylum seeking backgrounds who have previously worked towards their goals with the support of a Routes mentor) to develop their professional leadership skills, by becoming a mentor to a senior leader from UBS. Their mentees, UBS Managing Directors,  would be mentored across five 1-hour sessions, supporting them to reflect on their own leadership style, connect to their values, and become more inclusive and compassionate leaders. 

(Pictured, right, Routes Mentors’ reflections on ‘what is a mentor’)

Our mentors attended two training sessions with Routes, where we covered the role of a mentor; coaching and mentoring techniques and activities; how to plan and deliver a professional meeting or workshop; telling your professional story and much more. 

Meanwhile, mentees joined us for a launch event, where we talked through the role of a mentor and a mentee; an overview of the UK asylum system and its impact on individuals moving through it; and goal setting for the programme.

Our pairs then went on to have five hours of online meetings together, getting to know one another, exploring their values and how these shape their understanding of leadership, picking apart their ideas and experiences of 'welcome', and more besides. And finally, we gathered together to celebrate their successes, hear about the relationships built, and witness the small but meaningful shifts in each of them.

(Pictured above, Routes Mentor shares some words about her experience)

At the end of the event, the Routes team shared our hopes for the future of this group - how we hoped that the energy, knowledge and awareness each of the participants developed through the programme continues long beyond the celebration event. We hope that each mentee is able to tell colleagues and friends about their experiences and the things they learned, and to make tangible changes in the areas of their personal and professional lives in which they hold power. And we hope that our mentors are able to keep growing, with a deeper understanding of themselves as leaders and changemakers, and with bigger personal and professional toolkits and networks to see them into their next steps.

(Pictured above, Routes Mentors and some of the Routes Team)

What Next

As an organisation, we deliver programmes that are experiential, prioritising 'learning through doing' and valuing relationship building above all else. We are committed to creating experiences that enable people to learn and grow together. We are also committed to interrogating and challenging the hierarchies that prevent some people from holding power, and that perpetuate unequal and oppressive relationships. These power dynamics are everywhere, in workplaces, in educational institutions, and especially in the asylum system. 

We have seen time and again how much can be achieved when these hierarchies are challenged, and people are given the opportunity to build relationships as equals. We have watched people learn about themselves through learning about another person - a person that they trust, respect and admire, and who trusts, respects and admires them too. These relationships can be transformative, both for the individuals at the heart of them, and also for everyone around them. 

If you'd like to join us in our mission of building more transformative relationships through mutually beneficial mentoring experiences, we'd love to hear from you. Reach out to us below.

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'Caring for a cohort' - a poem for our 8th cohort

We celebrated the end of our 8th cohort’s mentoring journeys at the end of August, bringing together mentors and mentees in person (and online, for those who couldn’t join us!) to reflect, share and celebrate their mentoring. Routes Mentoring Programme Manager, Wieke Vink, wrote and shared this poem for the cohort, to mark the end of their journeys…

Caring for a cohort

In this Anson room that speaks of old knowledge

With books holding stories of previous times

And rain finally - suddenly dropping on the roof

We gather here today to celebrate

The new steps that you took together

The stories that you told each other

The moments that you shared

As you have been collecting and compiling your knowledge

From across your fields of expertise

And all your experiences

As women, as leaders, as learners

As mentors and mentees

Sharing it in blogs and workshops and your CVs

Some of you have been drawing

All of you have been exploring

Stepping into the new

Working on learning that might be relevant to you

You’ve been building on -

The power of conversation

The power of listening

The power of clarity and repeated attention

That what is needed to make something grow

Like a plant climbing up the window sill

Finding its way to the sky, and the sun

In a room coming out of a pandemic

We’ve seen you share and feed into blooming conversations

As we’ve been working as a team

To provide the right types of nourishment and support

And it hasn’t been an easy time

With headlines and heatwaves putting pressure

In a system that gets harsher and harsher

Where we try to keep up

Try to keep our heads up

Keep lifting each other up

And are committed to staying connected

For we know

From those connections flow

The strengths of a cohort

The joys and the successes

There are now new courses on the horizon

New connections across your networks

New reflections on taking it forwards

And yet the biggest achievement of all is care

Care is not a soft skill

It is the hardwire of our societies

It is what holds us together

It is what builds bridges

What brings new policies, new possibilities into this world

So when we look back -

As we’ve been caring for this cohort

And seen all the care that you shared

We can feel nothing but proud

As we have seen you struggle and doubt

Learn and reflect

Connect

Thinking about

What you can do

What she can do

What we can do together

And as we leave tonight from this place

Where we’ve met new and familiar faces

Let’s take this into other spaces

This care and shared knowledge

From this group of women

From across London

From across the UK

Who want you to succeed

In your dreams and your daily lives

In your teams and your communities

In your aspirations and scholarship applications

In your strengths and public speaking

As we are speaking to you all today

Please join me in saying a big ‘HOORAY’

For the impact that you made, is here to stay 

And to continue, and to be built on

by Wieke Vink, Mentoring Programme Manager

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Niki and Lily's Mentoring Journey

Niki and Lily were paired on our April to August 2022 Mentoring Programme. They worked together across four months, each learning and growing towards their own goals. In this blog, both mentor and mentee reflect on their journeys…

“Niki is one of the most brilliant, resilient and inspiring women I have ever met. She is also one of the most joyful women I have ever met, and I couldn’t help but learn from her as we uncovered and worked towards her goals during our journey together.”

— Lily, Mentor

Lily, Mentor

One of the joys of the Routes programme has been getting to know a diverse group of women who share a common set of goals: to embrace community, to lift one another up and to leave no-one behind. As leaders, it is our job to create safe workplaces and to nurture our teams. However, I am all too aware that, as women, too many of us have had at least one example of hostility that has bled into our understanding of ourselves, the world, and how we navigate the workplace. Early into the training element of the Routes programme, I experienced the ways in which the team has carefully and intentionally cultivated a supportive, encouraging and strength-building environment that challenges the norms that hostile experiences might’ve created, and how they are empowering cohorts of women to do the same. Routes has empowered us not only to transform the workplace but all of the spaces that we inhabit.

Photo above: some of the mentors on Lily’s cohort at their Meet & Greet with Mentor Programme Alumni

Exploring Routes with Niki has been a beautiful experience. Niki is one of the most brilliant, resilient and inspiring women I have ever met. She is also one of the most joyful women I have ever met, and I couldn’t help but learn from her as we uncovered and worked towards her goals during our journey together. Whilst the programme gave me the tools to create a safe space for Niki to grow, she created one for me. As I transitioned into a new career and quietly managed multiple and daunting changes in my own life, Niki unknowingly taught me how to be a better leader, and how to prioritise myself whilst being the best I can be for those around me. The Routes programme is a leadership and mentoring programme like no other and, for me, the proudest moment has been the powerful bond that Niki and I built. I look forward to seeing where our bond takes us!

Niki, Mentee

When I started the Routes programme, I was depressed, but meeting everyone on the programme was so inspiring. Everyone was always positive and had such great energy! I learned from them how great it is to be positive, to be helpful and to be there for people who are in need. This programme really helped me to push myself and my confidence is higher than it ever has been! I am proud of all that I have achieved and I am proud of my ability to always find a way to smile.

Lily always has positive energy! Even when she’s tired, she is always shining. She inspires me, tells me that I’m the best and encourages me to be my best. It’s really important because Lily’s positive energy after our sessions always stays with me and encourages me to believe in myself and all that I can achieve.

In our final session, we spoke about what our journey has meant to each other. We both said – wholeheartedly – “she makes me feel like I can be me!” We allowed ourselves to be vulnerable and that has helped us both to grow as individuals and to become more confident. My advice to future mentees is to be yourself, and to be open. You really can trust your mentor and feel confident and calm with them. Have fun!

Photo above: Mentors and mentees from Niki and Lily’s cohort at their End of Programme Celebration

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‘A better and happier version of myself’

— Ishmatu’s mentoring journey

Ishmatu and Ellie were paired as Mentor and Mentee on our April - August 2022 cohort. Together they worked on Ishmatu’s goals. In this piece, Ishmatu speaks about her growth in confidence.

My name is Ishmatu, I am a mother with a two year old son. My son has mild speech delay. Being an asylum seeker, sometimes I lost hope and my confidence was gone. I felt tired and depressed, because I never imagined how life would be so difficult for me, especially in a country where I don't know any family. I suffered from this mood for quite a long time until I was introduced to "Magpie". There at last l met a family - they are very nice people and patient as well. I enjoyed spending most of my time there with my son, because I always felt welcome. 

One day, one of the Magpie team sent an application link to the group, and that’s how I came to know about the Routes Mentoring Programme. I decided to apply.  I was very happy, because I know my dreams will come true - I can start working on my dreams. 

I joined the mentoring programme and I met my mentor, who’s name is Ellie. When I met Ellie, we introduced ourselves, and I told her I want to improve my English and writing, and work on building my self-confidence. Ellie told me that my English is good and that we can work on my confidence, by practising together at least once every week. Ellie is pregnant, but yet it makes no difference: her energy is there for me throughout. I appreciate that a lot!

Ellie asked me a lot of questions, so I can talk and build my confidence. She also shared affirmations that I can use, just to help me prepare for my day. It helps me to think and plan how my day will look like. I feel better and a bit more confident every week. Together with Ellie, we are also working on some of my goals for the future. I told Ellie I was a nurse back in my country, and I want to continue with my career in the UK as well. We explored the options for that. My mentor has been really active and encouraged me to apply for a bursary, because she knows how determined I am to start a nursing career in the UK.

I want to say thank you to Ellie for mentoring me throughout the programme, I achieved a lot! And a special thanks goes to the Routes mentoring programme, which has given me the opportunity to grow into a better and happier version of myself.

Written by Ishmatu, August 2022

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‘Sharing a learning experience together’

— Ellie’s Mentoring Experience

Ellie and Ishmatu were paired as Mentor and Mentee on our April - August 2022 cohort. Ellie works as Senior Campaigns Manager at Nesta (‘the UK's innovation agency for social good’). In the piece below, she shares her thoughts on mentoring, and how to support someone else to find their confidence.

I was really keen to get involved in the Routes programme because I’ve been volunteering with refugee and women’s rights groups for a long time. I was chair of Wandsworth Welcomes Refugees when I lived in London, but moved back to my hometown on the south coast during the pandemic. After moving I hadn’t had a chance to get back into volunteering yet, so when I saw this opportunity promoted through my employer I thought it looked like a great way to meet someone new and share a learning experience together. 

Before I met Ishmatu, I felt apprehensive about my role and whether I would be helpful enough. I don’t have any experience of nursing (Ishmatu’s field of work, ed.), teaching or coaching and I wasn’t sure if I was ‘qualified’ enough to be a mentor. I was wondering if I would be able to support her in the ways that she’d need and expect. My fears quickly disappeared once we met - we immediately got on and found we were able to connect and relate to each other through everything we have in common, even though we only met online. I quickly realised that I didn’t need any specific qualifications and that I had plenty of privileges - things like English being my first language and having experience in applying for courses and jobs in the UK - that meant I could be helpful and offer useful support. I found that helping Ishmatu to think and talk about what she wants to achieve, why, and how she might realise her goals, really helped her to recognise how far she has come and how strong and resilient she is.

For me, the most enjoyable part of our journey together has been getting to know Ishmatu, because her energy and determination are so inspiring. A particular highlight of our sessions has been when we’ve talked about Ishmatu’s personal values and strengths, which have helped Ishmatu to reconnect with the confidence within her, rather than seeking it from somewhere outside. It has been hugely positive and rewarding to be part of that process. 

As a woman, a mother and a nurse, Ishmatu is incredibly caring and I found that she was supporting me as much as I supported her, especially in periods of my pregnancy when I was really struggling physically. It has been a joy to speak to Ishmatu each week and I know that she will achieve her dreams here in the UK. I feel excited for her future!

Written by Ellie Cusack, August 2022

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Motherhood and mentoring: Migerjana & Tiffany

Migerjana & Tiffany were paired as Mentor and Mentee on our April - August 2022 cohort. In this blog, they explain why being a mother won’t hinder your ability to join the Routes Mentoring Programme. And Migerjana shares her top tips on how to juggle motherhood and being a mentee.

This piece has been written by Migerjana and Tiffany (photographed) as part of their mentoring journey.

Like other young mums, Migerjana first heard about the Routes Mentoring Programme through the Happy Baby community, a charity that helps women who are pregnant or have young children and who have fled their country to seek international support in the UK. She has been volunteering her time at the charity every Wednesday for the past 10 months.

What has Migerjana’s journey been in the UK so far?

Migerjana moved to the UK to seek asylum when she was 5 months pregnant with her daughter. She then spent several months in a hotel in London with other pregnant women, also asylum seekers. Shortly after giving birth, she moved into a house share, where she’s been living since.

She joined the Routes Collectives mentoring Programme in April, when her daughter was 11 months old.

“At the beginning, I was sceptical and I wasn’t sure if I should join the programme because of my little daughter. I wasn’t sure if I would be able to commit to the whole programme and when I could fit in all of the sessions with my mentor. But now that I am part of the programme, I believe that it was a great decision to make! I’m really grateful and thankful that I enrolled in this programme. I’m building self confidence and I am feeling hopeful that I can provide a great future for my daughter and I. There is a long journey ahead of us but this programme has enabled me to believe in myself again!”- Migerjana.

Other mentees such as Martha said that the programme felt like a “wake up call” reminding her that “she has a purpose’’, and Zhaneta who was expecting a child in 2020 said that she felt “more peaceful” thanks to the programme.

How do busy mums like Migerjana manage to participate in the programme?

As you will have seen in other blogs on the Routes website, both the mentors and mentee undergo training and they meet up for 10 sessions either face-to-face or remotely over the course of the 4 months programme. This may sound like a lot of time for mothers who do not have childcare in place. Migerjana was delighted when her roommate volunteered to look after her daughter for both training days. She and Tiffany agreed to schedule all of their weekly meetings remotely during her daughter’s naps, which enabled Migerjana to concentrate on her objectives and have a bit of the ‘me time’ that mums sometimes crave! Obviously there were days when her daughter wasn’t sleeping and it was fine – either they would do a short session, or play a bit with the little one. 

For Tiffany, who is also a mum, it was very important that Migerjana felt comfortable. She knows too well how stressful it can be when trying to multitask with a toddler or baby!

What is Migerjana’s objective?

During the first few sessions, Tiffany and Migerjana discussed Migerjana’s current situation and her medium to long-term objectives. In the asylum system, it can take years for people to get a work permit. Migerjana has applied for one, but has yet to receive an answer. Thus they decided to concentrate on finding a short-term online course that could help Migerjana find suitable employment once she is granted a work permit. 

As a young mum, it is important for Migerjana to do a self-paced online course. This means that she can study whenever she can in the comfort of her home. 

As of today, her plan is to do a short online course to acquire business skills with a local college, then if she likes this field of work, undertake a longer course in the autumn. 

How are courses funded?

There are numerous funding opportunities available. On this occasion, Tiffany and Migerjana have been focusing on two funding opportunities:

1. The bursary scheme from the City & Guild Foundation that provides support of up to £10,000; and

2. Funding at a local college for asylum seekers who enrol in a university degree. 

Hopefully, they’ll be able to secure funding so that Migerjana can start a course soon!

Migerjana’s top 5 tips on how to juggle motherhood and the mentoring programme:

1. Agree on a day when you are both available.

   “I have therapy on Tuesday and I volunteer at the Happy Baby community on Wednesdays. The rest of the week I am out and about with my daughter. So Tiffany and I decided that Fridays during my child’s nap was a good time to have online hour-long sessions.”

2. It’s ok not to be ok!

   “We’ve both had to cancel sessions at the last minute because either of our babies was unwell. It happens and it’s fine!”

3. Mentors are called ‘champions’

   “This means that they do not always have an answer to our questions, but they always strive to find ways to help with suggestions and by bringing a different perspective.” 

4. Don’t hesitate to challenge yourself and join the programme!

   “Ever since Tiffany and I met (online), I have felt like I’ve known her for a long time. Every session with my mentor brings me closer to my goals. I feel more positive and hopeful for the future!”

5. Being a mum is not a barrier, it is a superpower!

   “I really want my daughter to have the best possible opportunities in life. That is a very powerful incentive and it makes me work extra hard!”

What is it like to be a mentor? 

Below is a short testimony from Tiffany, who’s child is 2-and-a-half years old.

“Being a mentor is a human adventure before anything else. Whilst it provides mentors with greater listening skills, a better understanding of the asylum system in the UK and numerous tools to help a mentee achieve their objectives, it really is the bond that you develop with your mentee that matters the most. In her blog, another mentee called Xiaojuan describes really well this feeling of connection between a mentor and a mentee.

“Being a mother is a permanent juggling act and it is easy to understand why ‘it takes a village to raise a child’! Getting to know Migerjana and her daughter got me thinking about my own experience of bringing my son up. The mother-daughter bond that they have is truly exceptional and I feel very inspired by the community that they have created for themselves with other mothers and children in the asylum system and beyond. I believe that it shows that motherhood has no cultural, religious or ethnic boundaries. 

“Being Migerjana’s mentor has been a privilege. I’m in awe of her resilience and her ability to adapt. She is an incredibly talented young woman who completed a masters degree in political science in her country and is raising a child by herself in a foreign country. Yet she has very little self confidence and the feeling of starting from scratch in an environment where your degrees are not recognised can be a daunting prospect. I am delighted to be helping her achieve her objectives!”

Written by Migerjana and Tiffany, August 2022

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Elif & Raperin, Mentor & Mentee 2022

Elif & Raperin were paired as Mentor and Mentee on our April - August 2022 cohort. Together they worked on Raperin’s goals, both learning and growing through the process. In these two short pieces, Elif & Raperin reflect on their journeys and what they have learnt from each other along the way.

“…we have a lot in common, as women we are going through very similar challenges in this male-dominated capitalist world, and we can challenge perspectives collectively by supporting each other…”

— Elif, mentor

Mentor, Elif

I joined the Routes Mentoring Programme to improve and practise my mentoring skills and to support another woman who we might share common challenges in a new country. 

I would like to say, the programme was designed by the Routes team very professionally from training to delivery. Even if you do not have any mentoring experience before, but you have a passion for it, the programme prepares you for the mentoring process very smoothly with trainings and individual support when needed. I believe skills we have gained during the programme are very crucial both for your personal and professional development. So, if anyone would like to try mentoring and not sure where to start, Routes Mentoring Programme provides a safe space for you to learn and grow.

Becoming a mentor of the Routes Mentoring Programme has been the most rewarding thing I have done in the last year. It was a pure joy to meet with Raperin and be able to accompany her in her journey. Raperin is a very strong woman with a lot of passion and resilience. She wants to understand the non-profit sector in the UK and continue developing a career here as she has a lot of work experience already.

Her struggles of trying to pursue a career in a new country reminded me of my own struggles when first I moved to the UK. After our long conversations I discovered that we have a lot in common, as women we are going through very similar challenges in this male-dominated capitalist world, and we can challenge perspectives collectively by supporting each other.

We have structured our meetings according to Raperin’ s goals and needs but we never missed any chance to get to know each other better and have fun together during the process. Being a part of Raperin’ s journey inspired me a lot and gave me a chance to reflect on my own journey as well. Raperin is a true source of inspiration not only for her daughters but also for the women in her community. 

“She never missed a chance saying how much she is learning from me like I learn from her, she is very much like a kind, smart and caring friend. ”

— Raperin, mentee

Mentee, Raperin

I was referred by a colleague to Routes being a newcomer to the UK. I was not sure how beneficial this would be for me but was open to try. The introduction meeting motivated me as the general friendly atmosphere was really present and encouraging. My goal from this program was to get to know the work system in the UK, diminish my fears, and restore my confidence.

In the first meeting with my mentor I was expecting a question-answer atmosphere, but no it was a simple meeting just getting to know each other. I must be honest I was not convinced that this could lead to somewhere, but because I’m not the kind of person who would pull back from a commitment I just decided to continue. THANKFULLY, I made just the right decision as later after meeting once every week, we started to really know each other, we discussed our deep concerns and thoughts, we laughed, we met in person and it became my favorite hour of the week.

Elif was genuinely involved in our conversations and discussions, she was honest and kind, and she shared her experiences and thoughts just like I did. She never missed a chance saying how much she is learning from me like I learn from her, she is very much like a kind, smart and caring friend.

She helped to understand the work system in the UK, the knowledge and experience she shared made me look into things from a totally different angle. We defined together our strengths and weaknesses on both professional and personal level, I discovered skills that I would never believe I have.

Now that the programme has just reached the end I have a much clearer vision of how to reach my goal with no fears, more confidence and a trustworthy, out of the blue friend who I can always seek advice from.

Written and published August 2022

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The similarities & differences - Florida & Emily

Having studied law in Albania, mentee Florida is faced with the challenge of learning a whole new legal system. Emily is an associate at Milbank LLP. She joined the mentoring programme to support someone else, whilst learning and developing in her own right. 

In this blog post, both women reflect on their expectations of the programme, their relationship to the legal profession, and the things they have learned from one another…

Why did you originally decide to study law?

FLORIDA – I decided because I had a passion for it and had read some books about law which sounded interesting. I had a passion, I did some internet searching and spoke with family members and friends and heard about their experience with that and how it works, so I decided to study law. I wanted to help myself and other people.

EMILY – I studied law because I was interested in a job that would allow me to keep learning. I liked that it would involve a lot of education as I felt that could always be useful for me to have, it also felt like it had a clear trajectory, which I found really helpful when I was younger to understand the process.

What is it like to learn about a new legal system?

F - I didn’t know a lot about the English legal system initially… When I first read some of the books that Emily gave me, I thought English law was going to be difficult, but actually it is similar in some ways. [Still], it is quite difficult, you need to start from the beginning, even when you have some information, it is still a different country. You don’t have the same confidence you have in your home, it’s different. You speak a different language. To study law and to learn about law is difficult without the language. It’s not like everyday usage. 

E – It’s been really interesting to get to see the similarities between law in England and in Albania. [Florida] clearly has an ease with the legal world that translates. [Although] I’ve noticed that legal jargon, for example, can be really difficult to understand… It really does show how difficult the system is, even when you have the context of growing up with the language. It’s a huge credit to those who can become dual qualified!

Why did you both decide to join the Mentoring Programme?

F - I decided to join because it sounded interesting for me to know more information about what I want for the future. For example, for job and study prospects, more information about how I can convert my university degree that I finished in my country. For me it was interesting to learn more about that.

E – I decided to join because I really liked the ethos of Routes; that the programme was to learn from each other, rather than a top down approach. This made me feel that I could be a mentor as I felt like I had something to give, but that I also wasn’t an expert and wanted to learn myself.

What are you learning from each other?

E – I feel like I am learning so much from Florida. I think she is such an incredible example of someone who is dealing with a lot from motherhood, learning what life is like in a new country, language courses and on top of this handling her legal status, and she does it all with such a positive attitude. She is always so incredibly kind to speak with and is so warm and funny. I think that it’s an excellent reminder that you can be resilient and kind.

I feel like it’s taught me to take time to reflect, rather than surging ahead with next ideas. I’ve realised that I’m a very solutions focused person, which can work well sometimes but can also mean adding a lot of unnecessary pressure other times. It’s allowed me to take a step back and to recognise that we don’t need to achieve everything all at once.

F – It was interesting to hear about how some of Emily’s experiences were similar to me. I learned a lot from Emily. First of all, I’ve learned to be more confident with my English speaking and that I have improved. Second of all, I’ve learned more about CVs and job applications. Also, I’ve learned about different types of job opportunities and steps. Emily has also sent me legal textbooks so that has allowed me to learn a lot myself. 

I was surprised by what I could learn from the programme, after the first session I realised what the sessions would look like and what we could do in the future. I think Emily and I work really well together, we cover many things in our sessions. Like thinking about CVs, as well as spending time getting to know each other. It’s a pleasure getting to know Emily.

Florida and Emily took part in the Routes Mentoring Programme together between October 2021 - February 2022. For more information about becoming a mentor like Emily click here. And if you would like to be mentored, like Florida, click here.

"It's a feeling!" - Xiaojuan's Mentoring Journey So Far

In this blog post, 2021-22 Mentee Xiaojuan shares her thoughts and reflections on her mentoring journey so far - the new relationship she’s made, the confidence she has built, and the new experiences she’s had as a result.

“I am a mummy, who has a four year old girl. My girl is in nursery now. We used to read stories before my daughter goes to bed and I found out that my English isn't good enough to read the story fluently. I realised that I must improve my English, not only for reading stories, but also for giving my daughter better education. That’s why I joined the Routes Mentoring Programme. I had heard about the Mentoring Programme from a charity that supports mothers who are seeking asylum. They told me that it can help me to meet my goals.

I joined the Mentoring Programme and met my mentor, whose name is Kerrie. Kerrie is very nice and patient. She asks me some questions every time when we are having a meeting and that makes me talk a lot. The more I talk, the better my English gets.

I feel like I knew my mentor already for a long time, even though we just met through the Mentoring Programme. I don’t know how to describe it - it’s a feeling! You can just talk to her: your thoughts, your thinking, your ideas. She is also giving me lots of suggestions. For example, some links and apps to help me improve my English.

We are also working on some of my other goals. In the future, I would love to create a video for my daughter. So that when she gets older, she can watch the videos from her early years. As a memory, from the time she was born! A little bit of her tiny life. But that is quite difficult for me. I need to learn a bit more about technology first. I might need to go to learn some computer skills, perhaps do a course to help me understand things better.

I told Kerrie that my English is not good enough. But she said that my English is very good and she can understand me. Because of that, I've been much more confident. I was scared to communicate over the phone. I would always go to a place to talk to people rather than make a phone call. But now I start to try to make phone calls, instead of going to the place, which saves me lots of time.

Recently, my friend’s printer wasn’t working. I helped her to find help by using the internet. Another friend had a problem with a delivery, and I helped them with making a phone call. Also, a friend of mine had to cancel an appointment with a GP, which is quite difficult. I could now help them with the phone calls. So I can now see that my skills have improved.

I hope I am not going to stop studying English even after the Mentoring Programme is finished. I think I will also go and find some computer course for me, after my English has improved. Now, I am doing an ESOL course (English for Speakers of Other Languages) at the adult learning centre of my local council. Sometimes things are easy, but for me, I need someone to help me. To open a door for me. And then, maybe I can start it.

If you meet a mentor that is good for you, this will help you a lot. It will help you reach your goal, and save you time. Also, if you are not confident, if you can find someone like that, they will help you build your confidence. That’s what the Mentoring Programme did for me!”

Xiaojuan was a mentee on our 2021-22 programme. Applications are now open for mentors and mentees for our upcoming programme (April 2022)! Click the buttons below to find out more…

Celebrating the summer cohort

Routes Mentoring Programme Producer, Wieke, shared this beautiful spoken word piece with our 2021 cohort of mentors and mentees at their end of programme celebration last month.

You can watch and hear the poem (performed by Wieke) and find the transcript below!

Some call this the ‘summer of love’
Some call it ‘summer of chaos’
We call it ‘summer of solidarity’

Knowing that there are other women like you

Keeping an eye out
Cheering you on
Rooting for your wellbeing

Having each other’s backs

Face-to-face in video calls

In pairs of two
You
Added understanding
Divided the workload
Multiplied meaning

Sharing that genuine space with one another
Looking at the other
Looking at yourself
And seeing the strengths in both of you

Mentoring is
Learning together
Learning from each other
Seeing the hurdles along the way
And then exploring the options

It is
Acknowledging different experiences
The setbacks that can crumble our confidence
When some of us are told ‘no’ over and over again

The long wait
In the system
In the heat

Is just that much more bearable
With a friendly face on the other side of the screen

Waiting for those ‘yesses’
Celebrating your successes
Seeing you for who you are

And as we talked through
Non-directive communication and public speaking
Goals and aspirations and road maps
Values and opportunities and next steps

Confidence was victorious
You were all glorious

As you build your relationships
Moved through your meetings
Tuned in for trainings

And shared some of those things that matter the most

And as tonight’s hosts:
this is your party

The long journeys that got you here
The wisdom that you carry with you

And this sense of

Self
Integrity
Care
Community

To take with you

Until we meet again
Meet in real life

To share some more
Laughter, joy and support

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Applications are now open for our October 2021 mentoring programme. To find out more click here.

Teri's Top Tips for Public Speaking

Meet Teri!

You may recognise the amazing Teri from the screen and stage… She is a professional actress and has performed for theatre and television, recently being seen in Bridgerton and Call the Midwife, and gracing the stages of theatres like Theatre Royal Haymarket, National Theatre, Soho Theatre, Manchester Opera House and more!

When Teri was a child she found it hard to communicate and concentrate at school. When drama was introduced to her, she found it easier to express herself, which helped her to build her confidence. This experience was one of the reasons Teri founded Speak Up, an organisation running drama workshops to boost the confidence and wellbeing of people of all ages (with a particular focus on young people). The workshops are fun, playful and safe, creating spaces in which children and adults alike can take steps to building their confidence together.

Since 2020, Teri has been running confidence building workshops for women in the Routes Community, and the results have been amazing! 2020 mentee Mutiat recently commented,

“By the time you listen to Teri a few times your confidence will boost whether you want it or not!”

Since more adults in the UK are scared of public speaking than of dying (!) we thought it was only fair to share some of Teri’s Top Tips with you too…

Top Tips for Finding Public Speaking Confidence

1. Warm up before you start, even if it’s just a quick stretch of your body and face

Would you expect an athlete or a gymnast to go into a performance without warming up? No! Your body, face and voice need to be prepared in order to do their job properly.

2. Slow down and breathe — let the audience process your words

The audience doesn’t have a pause or rewind button! They only have one chance to hear what you are saying, so take your time, especially around important words or phrases. It will always sound faster to an audience than it does to you.

3. Start and finish well — the audience will remember the first and last thing you say

Start and finish with confidence and energy. We can all be tempted to trail off at the end, or run off the stage in relief, but the final impression is the most important one! Leave the audience wanting more by finishing as strongly as you began.

4. And finally, your audience want you to be good — take the pressure off yourself!

In centuries gone by, lots of eyes staring at one person would probably have meant they were about to be eaten by a pack of angry wolves... But not anymore! The eyes in your audience want you to do well and are looking for the best in you! Remembering this can help to take the pressure off and calm the part of your nervous system that goes into “fight or flight” mode.

Next time you have some public speaking to do (whether online or in real life) make sure to give these top tips a try, and let us know how you get on!

You can find out more about Teri and her organisation ‘Speak Up’ here.

You can find out more about Routes’ creative work, including details of our workshops, events and performances here.

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"A little light in a dark room" - Silvia & Halima's Mentoring Journey

Mentor Silvia (Nesta) and mentee Halima wrote this blog post together as they approached the end of their four-month mentoring journey. In it, they discuss first meeting, their evolving relationship, growing in confidence together and much more…

Silvia: “Halima and I got to know each other through the Routes mentoring programme, which has had a transformative impact on both of us. We embarked on this journey with a lot of hopes and fears, and now that we are approaching the end of it, we have both developed into more confident and empowered women. Most importantly, in just 10 hours together and without having even met face to face, we have both found a supporter and a friend. 

“We would like to share a bit about our journey throughout the programme and how we’ve built a meaningful connection despite – and thanks to – our differences, with the hope to inspire more people to take part.” 

Before the mentoring programme

Halima: “I lost confidence in myself during the long lockdown. I was bored most of the time. I really wanted to do something for myself. One day, I met one of the staff at Happy Baby Community, and I got to know about the Routes mentoring programme. At first, I did not understand what it was about but later I realised this was a little light in a dark room.” 

Silvia: “A few months ago, I read in a book something like “the purpose of life is self-transcendence, rather than endless self-reflection”. That really resonated with me and made me realise that after having spent a couple of years focusing on myself with the support of wonderful people, I was now ready to offer support to someone else. Some days later, a colleague at work shared the opportunity to enrol in the Routes mentoring programme and it felt like the perfect match for what I was looking for.” 

Our first training

Halima: “Until the first meeting with my mentor Silvia I was very worried about how she would be. I was fearful, curious and joyful at the same time. I was scared that my English level was not going to be good enough and Silvia wouldn’t understand me. And I was worried I could not reach my goal.” 

Silvia: “During the first training with Routes I remember feeling a mix of excitement and anxiety (apparently, these feelings are caused by the same chemicals in the brain). How do you connect meaningfully with a person that comes from the other side of the world and is likely to have a completely different lived experience from you? Even more worryingly, how do you do that online, in the middle of a pandemic?”

Our journey together

Halima: “On the first day all the fears were gone. Silvia is very positive, sincere and friendly. She would turn all my negative thoughts into positive ones with her talking. She understands everything I say, she even understands what I can’t understand.  Since the first meeting I felt safe with her and it seemed like we had known each other for a long time. I am fascinated by Silvia’s sincere behaviour, and I now wait all week to talk to her. 

“We normally talk for a long time and we got to know each other through the programme. Silvia has always been thinking about my goal. I learned a lot of things from her that will be useful in my life here. Silvia is not only my favourite person, but also my one-year old daughter’s one. I don’t know the other mentors, but I am lucky, and I think my mentor is the best. Thanks to the mentoring programme, I was able to get out of a very frustrating and unhappy place. I regained my self confidence and I’ve learnt a lot. The staff at Routes Mentoring have been really supportive. I wish the programme continues so that more people can benefit from it.” 

Silvia: “Already on the first meeting, I realised Halima and I had more in common than what I had initially thought. After 30 minutes, we were chatting about our families, our countries, our experience of moving to the UK from abroad and getting settled here. She introduced me to her baby and shared a lot of interesting facts about the typical food and dresses of her country. From the very first session, we were open about what we wanted to achieve through the programme and how we could support each other in this journey. 

“With time, our relationship has evolved and so have our meetings. While at the beginning I was the one playing a more proactive role by suggesting activities Halima could do and next steps to achieve her goals, now she does most of the talking, brings up a lot of different topics for discussion and every week she updates me on all the activities and courses she is doing. Witnessing Halima become more confident after each meeting has been one of the greatest joys of my adult life. Watching her grow and flourish despite all the negative circumstances that were affecting her life has been a true source of inspiration. 

“On a personal level, it’s been so empowering for me to learn that I am able to support another human being to achieve their goals and that I have the resources and the tools to be an accountability buddy, a cheerleader, a friend and a supporter.”

Our thank you

Silvia and Halima: “A special thank you from both of us goes to the Routes Mentoring programme, which has given us a fantastic opportunity to grow into a better and happier version of ourselves and to build a meaningful friendship with someone supposedly so different, and yet so similar. It has been by accepting, exploring and valuing our differences that we were able to go beyond them. 

This journey made us realise that we share the fundamental experience of being human - of being sad when we feel rejected, self-conscious when we face a new challenge, happy when people treat us with unexpected kindness, empowered when we are showed that we are capable of achieving our most ambitious dreams. We were reminded that we are – as much of a platitude as it may sound – fundamentally made of the same matter.”

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'It is never too late!' - Aldona's mentoring journey

Aldona is a mentee on our 2021 mentoring programme. As she writes this blog, she is approaching the end of her four month mentoring journey with her mentor Jo (UBS). Here she shares her journey to Routes, her experience of mentoring, and why it is never too late to start achieving your goals.

“I heard about Routes through my therapist. I wanted to join, because this is something I needed right now. It was the right thing at the right time. As a woman, as a mother of a child stuck at home, I needed it. For 10 years, I have been in the UK, but I have never had the chance to do things. I was foolish enough to believe that my asylum would be accepted, but it wasn’t until now - so over a decade, I couldn’t do much.

Having a child and thinking about being positive about the future and seeing things from a different perspective is really useful. Seeing things from inside of you, in a humane way. I was very glad and excited - you can’t imagine. It was like when you get excited when you go to high school!

I never had a mentor before. Meeting my mentor for the first time was the best thing ever. It was like meeting a doctor - that’s how I felt. This is someone who can help me heal - the old me who was passive and felt left behind in this modern world.

The first time I met my mentor, I wasn’t sure how it was going to turn out, because I never had an experience like this before. But from the first day she was so nice. We met on Zoom and she gave me the chance to speak. I have difficulties with focusing or remembering a lot of things. She gave me the chance to tell her. Maybe she just knew which questions to ask first.

Once I told her how I feel and where I stand and who I am, we just continued working together. We worked a lot - we have done 6 sessions so far. I want to do a course and Jo helped me to look at my options.

I even signed up for a course, but it was cancelled on the day - that was quite disappointing. I have small goals and big goals, and this was my small one. My mental health dropped and then I told her. Somehow, I could feel that she is feeling for me and then I was trying to tell her that I was going to be all right. Once I spoke to her, I was starting to feel that I can come back to this.

When you are in a different country, where you are surrounded with everything that is different, it is challenging. I felt not strong enough to do everything by myself. If I hadn’t joined this Mentoring Programme, I would have never thought I would be able to do something positive for myself.

My mentor is also learning from this, I think. She is learning how to deal with a different person, because it is just me and her… she is working with someone with a different mentality and different experiences.

When I was in high school, I left everything. I had issues - and I changed. Since then, my old me wasn’t there. But now having a mentor and thinking about getting back on track, it makes me believe that I have found myself again. I felt like that from the very beginning.

Maybe one day, I could also be able to be a mentor myself for someone. If I reach my first goal, and then my second, and if I learn the language a little bit better. I think it’s the best thing to do. It’s a pandemic and we are stuck at home. But for some people, even when it is not the pandemic, they might be stuck outside or stuck at home. There are so many people like me, who need mentors. It’s so useful to have someone to help you get back on track.

Maybe it would have been better if I met Routes earlier - but it is never too late!”

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'Life through the Lens of Cake' - Catherine's Mentoring Journey

In this blog post, Catherine Kirchmann (Divisional Director, Investec Wealth and Investment) shares moments and learnings from her mentoring journey so far… through the lens of cake!

“I was nervous about meeting Lili (not her real name) for the first time. I am not new to mentoring. I have been involved in a number of different programmes over the past few years – some formal, others less so. Each had always had either a work or own industry bias and were often quite specific in their focus – for me it felt like mentoring within my comfort zone. But this was different. What attracted me to the Routes mentoring programme was the opportunity to get to meet someone from a different background to my own. If there is one thing I have learned over the last 15 months, it is the importance of connecting with and supporting others. But I wasn’t sure what to expect. What if we didn’t connect or have anything in common? What if our time together didn’t meet Lili’s expectations of the programme? What if we didn’t achieve what she had set out to do?

My nervousness was unfounded. Lili and I hit it off from our first conversation. She is out-going and confident, and I found the conversation came quite easily to both of us. We learned a little about each other’s backgrounds on that first day and I found myself looking forward to finding out more about her and her goals in our second call. Routes ensures that mentors get a lot of support – from the wonderful Routes’ team; from their comprehensive training for mentors; from the extensive resource database; and from your fellow mentors with their shared experiences. I wanted to find out more about Lili and her goals, strengths, skills and passions and reflected back on some of the activities we had looked at on our first training day to get to know each other better. We concentrated on personal values and strengths and it soon became clear that Lili wanted to focus on framing the type of job and role she wants to work towards, and what she needs to do to get there. But before we knew it we were out of time and I was worried that we were making slow progress. 

And that is where the cake comes in. Lili had mentioned that she likes to bake and promised to send me some photos of some of her recent cakes. Later that evening a message came through with photos of cakes that looked like they belonged in the window of a bakery. Reflected in those cakes I learned about Lili the wife, the mother, and the artist. There was the intricate tiered cake covered in pink flowers for her daughter’s birthday; the cake adorned with fruit and flowers to celebrate her husband’s birthday; the lovingly decorated cake to mark 20 years of marriage; and my favourite – the carefully crafted dinosaur cake which her young son looked at with sheer delight. By sharing these photos, Lili had given me a glimpse into her life and family and more of who she is and what she is capable of – all through the lens of cake. It made me realise that one of the measures of success of the programme will be the relationship we build and the time we take to get to know each other properly. Something that I don’t think I had always appreciated in my previous mentoring relationships. I am learning to judge progress in a different way and to celebrate the mini successes along the way.”

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‘You can do it’ is something I will never forget

In this blog post, Faridah shares her experience on the Routes Mentoring Programme so far: the highlights, challenges and the relationship with her mentor, Emma, who works for NHS England.

“I  heard about the Mentoring Programme on the Routes social media pages. The fact is that I am a person seeking asylum here in the UK, I had so many questions, but no answers.

Issues I was thinking about were helping other women like me, how to join school, English language tests and be more involved in my community as a volunteer. Based on the above, I was sure that once Routes matched me with a mentor, all that was to be solved: I could start finding answers to my questions. 

Before I met my mentor, I trusted that Routes would match me with someone who would meet my expectations. This was because Daisy from Routes made calls with me and also through email I had to explain what my goals were. I was confident I would get something in line with what I wanted. 

Together with my mentor Emma, we are now working on how I can join university,  English language tests, funding avenues and volunteering placements in line with my area of interest. It has been wonderful. We are people who help each other. She gives me my space to speak and share what I want, we discuss and we come up with something that is best for me. It is not one-sided and we do it together. 

There are a few challenges we have to deal with. For example, some volunteering placements need a DBS check, which is hard to get as an asylum-seeker. Some funding organisations have age limits for one to qualify for their funding, and some universities have almost stopped taking new applicants for the year. The challenges push me to try harder: I will try and find a solution. I am always a positive person and will try to see what works best. 

The Mentoring Programme has been an eye opener for me. I learned that there is some funding and programmes accessible to asylum-seekers. I also found out that I have to do an English test, even though I come from a country where English is also an official language.

We are now looking for different opportunities for gaining volunteer experience. 

With the help of my mentor, so many questions have been answered.

I feel my mentor is also learning something from this. When we come across something, we both do research and then we compare notes. For example, researching things like volunteering opportunities or how to apply to university, we do hand-in-hand.

There are other groups where I volunteer. For example, now I can facilitate an event in line with what my mentor is doing professionally. I even invited Emma to come talk at an event together (with the organisation TimePeace). I invited her and she was really good - and I could do the facilitation. 

I would advise both interested new mentors and mentees to go ahead and join the programme. The advantages are more than the challenges. When you are not from the UK, and you get a mentor who is from here or has a lot of experience, you can ask them questions on how they do things. It is very easy-going and you can easily ask them questions.

I tried some of the things by myself before. I Googled, did this and that, but I didn’t know how to do it. When I told Emma about the UCAS thing (Universities and Colleges Admissions Service), she made it look so easy. She made it look like ‘You can do it’. That is something I will never forget. It made me so happy!”

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Celebrating our winter cohort, January 2021

On the evening of 28th January, mentors and mentees from our 2020-21 programme came together to connect and celebrate one another. Routes’ Mentoring Programme Producer, Wieke, wrote and performed this beautiful poem for the cohort, which we are proud to share with you!

Scroll down beneath the video to read the poem

Four months ago

Twenty journeys started

Forty women

Mentors and mentees

Had training

Met

While the leaves were falling

As captured by Mutiat’s camera

We never met in real life

But you met

On your screens

On your phones

Having meeting after meeting

Getting to know each other

Getting to know yourself

You worked on

Setting goals

Making a plan

Taking it forwards

University applications

English

Confidence

And getting to know the job market

While London was in lockdown

It wasn’t always easy -

There was fear about Corona

Loved ones to look after

Bad internet connections

But you kept going

Week after week

You had your meetings

Attended our sessions

Some of you read a book together

Some practised their make-up

Some joined a workshop

Some worked on CVs

You discussed your weekends and wellbeing

Talked about your homes, your hopes

Dreamt big

Learning from the skills of others

Discovering the strengths in yourself

You showed resilience

Creativity

Patience

Perseverance

Joy

As you talked about what may come next

And reached out to Routes if you needed it

And here we are

January 2021

Snow has fallen over the weekend

And it is sunny again

It is celebration time

Forty women

Coming together to celebrate

The achievements

Big and small

The lessons learned

The relationships built

We feel fulfilled

Satisfied that we could walk this journey with you

Grateful

That while we have never met

We have seen you reach out your hands to each other

And we will keep going

One step after the other

Into a London that will see spring again

Outside

Do you hear the birds sing?

They are cheering us on

They are welcoming a new season

They are celebrating

Because they know

That with support

Women empowering women

We are learning

We are growing

We are strong

By Wieke Vink, for our fifth cohort of mentors and mentees