‘The human side of leadership’ - reflections from mentor Dee

Deepali (Dee) Desphande is Product Manager at Investec, and joined our 9th Mentoring cohort as a mentor. She was paired with mentee Mafusi, for 4 months of mentoring from October 2022 to February 2023. Find her reflections on Routes’ mentoring, and the lessons she learned from it, below.

" Hope is the thing with feathers-

That perches in the Soul -

And sings the tunes without the words -

And never stops - at all- "

- Emily Dickinson

It all started with an initiative on our work intranet, mentioning the Routes Mentoring Programme. This initiative caught my eye, because The Routes programme resonated with the purpose and values that are important to me at work. As I looked into the details I was intrigued and also slightly overwhelmed to find out the cause of the initiative: working with women who have experience of displacement.

I decided to apply and see where it took me. I felt like I was not fully prepared for what I was taking on. AlI I had was determination to try and make a difference to someone’s life, and learn something valuable myself as I went on this journey.

I myself have had quite a varied career so far. I started off as a Graphic Designer and Content Developer. Now I work at Investec and I have also recently started some coaching training. I was hoping that some of my experience might be relevant to someone else exploring their options, and I was really interested to learn more about Routes’ approach to mentoring. I was delighted when I got an email saying I was selected for the programme and I was found a match.

We had our first training session for mentors and I was blown away. Routes made the content empathetic and broke it down, so that we understood our responsibilities and boundaries. I loved the structure of the programme, because it touched upon a lot of practical side of things and gave us a lot of pointers on how to handle difficult situations. The training equipped me to go in with eyes wide open and some knowledge about the difficult systems mentees have to negotiate.

While I was very excited to meet my mentee Mafusi, I was a bag of nerves. I prepared for my first session like a diligent student. However, in my first session I realised that this session was going to be very different from the mentoring sessions I have had in the corporate world. I kept my notes aside and Mafusi and I set off on a journey.

This journey led us to become confidants. I was humbled with the amount of trust Mafusi put in me during these sessions, by sharing her life experiences.  I felt privileged to be a part of this process that we both trusted and the safe space we created for each other. We soon found things to talk about, that brought joyful memories back for Mafusi.

Mafusi wanted to work on her personal leadership, and next steps. We found creative ways to work on that. For example, one of the goals we carved out was for Mafusi to write a recipe from back home. The recipe is more than measurements and ingredients. It’s a part of Mafusi’s heritage, her culture and her family. It has history associated to food and where it comes from. Mafusi took time to put a lot of details in the recipe and it was a proud moment for both of us. It was a tangible output of our discussions and she proudly held it with a smile. 

From thereon, our relationship flourished. We set up further goals and identified small steps to tackle them. We met some challenges along the way, but we never lost our nerve or hope. I had excellent support from Routes when I was worried, which made me feel better and keep calm. Routes are very well equipped to handle challenging situations and find ways to support both mentors and mentees.

I am very proud of what Mafusi has achieved and how much I have learnt about myself through these past few weeks. I have been in leadership roles and have been quite mindful of the human side of the leadership. These sessions and training and Routes gave me another dimension to mentoring and leadership. Now if there is a problem; I try to understand the root of the problem rather than fixing the symptom. I have since incorporated some of the learnings to understand the team members better which helped create a cohesive work environment.

Another major learning was about experiences of people seeking safety in the UK. My time with Routes provided me with a perspective on how things are organised, and what that means for people’s lives.

The learnings I have had in the past four months will stay with me and have reinforced my desire to become Life Coach. I would like to work with women to build their confidence - be it in corporate space, coming back to work or just finding the spark they have lost. Every woman is confident and capable of achieving great things. Sometimes all we need is a little help to tap into our potential. If I can be that person and make even 1% difference to people’s lives, it will be rewarding.

There is a quote from a poem by Emily Dickinson that I really like. It talks about ‘Hope being the thing with feathers’. I hope I can provide a bit of that for someone in conversation. Mentoring and coaching can be so powerful for that.