Reverse Mentoring with UBS

Reflections on the pilot of the Routes Reverse Mentoring Programme, from Co-Founder Daisy Jacobs.

It is an early September evening and the dark is settling in earlier than it has for the past few months. As it does, a dozen people gather in the Broadgate offices of UBS, dressed ready for a celebration. As more people arrive and drinks and food are laid out, the chatter turns from nervous to excited, slowly bubbling until it fills the room. For many here tonight, this is the first time they are meeting face to face, after three months of online relationship building, digging deep into each other's values, goals and interests, and working to see things from the other's perspective. 

This is the celebration event for the first cohort of Routes' 'Reverse Mentoring Programme', in partnership with UBS.

(Pictured above, Routes Co-Founders Daisy and Leyla speaking to Routes Mentors and UBS Mentees at the start of the Celebration Event.)

As the sun was going down outside and we enjoyed the delicious spread put on by UBS, we listened to heartwarming reflections, and inspiring stories of new relationships built. We heard about pairs connecting through each other's commitment to lifelong learning and growth, and celebrating each other's humility and empathy. Pairs reflected that their self-awareness had grown, both in areas of strengths and weaknesses, but also in an understanding of their values and beliefs. Though mentors and mentees on the programme have hugely different life experiences, we heard pairs reflect on feeling seen and understood by their partners, and that they had connected through shared values and experiences, understanding the many similarities between them, as well as the differences. 

Everyone in the room could see that they had brought something to their partner, and that they had been changed and challenged by them too. A few of the pairs have already committed to staying in touch, and continuing their mentoring outside of the programme… and as big believers in the power of relationships to create long lasting change, this feels like a huge success for us!

The Context

Since 2018, we have been running mentoring programmes with mutual impact. We have supported over 120 women mentees from refugee and asylum seeking backgrounds to grow towards their personal and professional goals, with the support of more than 120 professional women mentors from more than 50 different organisations. The impact is two fold: mentees are supported and championed to grow in confidence and reach their goals, whilst their mentors are supported and championed to develop an empowering and impactful set of leadership skills, with the support of the Routes team and in partnership with their mentee. Year on year we have seen the mutual impact that these relationships have, and we wondered whether we could take that impact even further… Which is why we launched our first Reverse Mentoring Programme.

This programme was an opportunity for alumni mentees of our flagship programme (women from refugee and asylum seeking backgrounds who have previously worked towards their goals with the support of a Routes mentor) to develop their professional leadership skills, by becoming a mentor to a senior leader from UBS. Their mentees, UBS Managing Directors,  would be mentored across five 1-hour sessions, supporting them to reflect on their own leadership style, connect to their values, and become more inclusive and compassionate leaders. 

(Pictured, right, Routes Mentors’ reflections on ‘what is a mentor’)

Our mentors attended two training sessions with Routes, where we covered the role of a mentor; coaching and mentoring techniques and activities; how to plan and deliver a professional meeting or workshop; telling your professional story and much more. 

Meanwhile, mentees joined us for a launch event, where we talked through the role of a mentor and a mentee; an overview of the UK asylum system and its impact on individuals moving through it; and goal setting for the programme.

Our pairs then went on to have five hours of online meetings together, getting to know one another, exploring their values and how these shape their understanding of leadership, picking apart their ideas and experiences of 'welcome', and more besides. And finally, we gathered together to celebrate their successes, hear about the relationships built, and witness the small but meaningful shifts in each of them.

(Pictured above, Routes Mentor shares some words about her experience)

At the end of the event, the Routes team shared our hopes for the future of this group - how we hoped that the energy, knowledge and awareness each of the participants developed through the programme continues long beyond the celebration event. We hope that each mentee is able to tell colleagues and friends about their experiences and the things they learned, and to make tangible changes in the areas of their personal and professional lives in which they hold power. And we hope that our mentors are able to keep growing, with a deeper understanding of themselves as leaders and changemakers, and with bigger personal and professional toolkits and networks to see them into their next steps.

(Pictured above, Routes Mentors and some of the Routes Team)

What Next

As an organisation, we deliver programmes that are experiential, prioritising 'learning through doing' and valuing relationship building above all else. We are committed to creating experiences that enable people to learn and grow together. We are also committed to interrogating and challenging the hierarchies that prevent some people from holding power, and that perpetuate unequal and oppressive relationships. These power dynamics are everywhere, in workplaces, in educational institutions, and especially in the asylum system. 

We have seen time and again how much can be achieved when these hierarchies are challenged, and people are given the opportunity to build relationships as equals. We have watched people learn about themselves through learning about another person - a person that they trust, respect and admire, and who trusts, respects and admires them too. These relationships can be transformative, both for the individuals at the heart of them, and also for everyone around them. 

If you'd like to join us in our mission of building more transformative relationships through mutually beneficial mentoring experiences, we'd love to hear from you. Reach out to us below.

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'Caring for a cohort' - a poem for our 8th cohort

We celebrated the end of our 8th cohort’s mentoring journeys at the end of August, bringing together mentors and mentees in person (and online, for those who couldn’t join us!) to reflect, share and celebrate their mentoring. Routes Mentoring Programme Manager, Wieke Vink, wrote and shared this poem for the cohort, to mark the end of their journeys…

Caring for a cohort

In this Anson room that speaks of old knowledge

With books holding stories of previous times

And rain finally - suddenly dropping on the roof

We gather here today to celebrate

The new steps that you took together

The stories that you told each other

The moments that you shared

As you have been collecting and compiling your knowledge

From across your fields of expertise

And all your experiences

As women, as leaders, as learners

As mentors and mentees

Sharing it in blogs and workshops and your CVs

Some of you have been drawing

All of you have been exploring

Stepping into the new

Working on learning that might be relevant to you

You’ve been building on -

The power of conversation

The power of listening

The power of clarity and repeated attention

That what is needed to make something grow

Like a plant climbing up the window sill

Finding its way to the sky, and the sun

In a room coming out of a pandemic

We’ve seen you share and feed into blooming conversations

As we’ve been working as a team

To provide the right types of nourishment and support

And it hasn’t been an easy time

With headlines and heatwaves putting pressure

In a system that gets harsher and harsher

Where we try to keep up

Try to keep our heads up

Keep lifting each other up

And are committed to staying connected

For we know

From those connections flow

The strengths of a cohort

The joys and the successes

There are now new courses on the horizon

New connections across your networks

New reflections on taking it forwards

And yet the biggest achievement of all is care

Care is not a soft skill

It is the hardwire of our societies

It is what holds us together

It is what builds bridges

What brings new policies, new possibilities into this world

So when we look back -

As we’ve been caring for this cohort

And seen all the care that you shared

We can feel nothing but proud

As we have seen you struggle and doubt

Learn and reflect

Connect

Thinking about

What you can do

What she can do

What we can do together

And as we leave tonight from this place

Where we’ve met new and familiar faces

Let’s take this into other spaces

This care and shared knowledge

From this group of women

From across London

From across the UK

Who want you to succeed

In your dreams and your daily lives

In your teams and your communities

In your aspirations and scholarship applications

In your strengths and public speaking

As we are speaking to you all today

Please join me in saying a big ‘HOORAY’

For the impact that you made, is here to stay 

And to continue, and to be built on

by Wieke Vink, Mentoring Programme Manager

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Niki and Lily's Mentoring Journey

Niki and Lily were paired on our April to August 2022 Mentoring Programme. They worked together across four months, each learning and growing towards their own goals. In this blog, both mentor and mentee reflect on their journeys…

“Niki is one of the most brilliant, resilient and inspiring women I have ever met. She is also one of the most joyful women I have ever met, and I couldn’t help but learn from her as we uncovered and worked towards her goals during our journey together.”

— Lily, Mentor

Lily, Mentor

One of the joys of the Routes programme has been getting to know a diverse group of women who share a common set of goals: to embrace community, to lift one another up and to leave no-one behind. As leaders, it is our job to create safe workplaces and to nurture our teams. However, I am all too aware that, as women, too many of us have had at least one example of hostility that has bled into our understanding of ourselves, the world, and how we navigate the workplace. Early into the training element of the Routes programme, I experienced the ways in which the team has carefully and intentionally cultivated a supportive, encouraging and strength-building environment that challenges the norms that hostile experiences might’ve created, and how they are empowering cohorts of women to do the same. Routes has empowered us not only to transform the workplace but all of the spaces that we inhabit.

Photo above: some of the mentors on Lily’s cohort at their Meet & Greet with Mentor Programme Alumni

Exploring Routes with Niki has been a beautiful experience. Niki is one of the most brilliant, resilient and inspiring women I have ever met. She is also one of the most joyful women I have ever met, and I couldn’t help but learn from her as we uncovered and worked towards her goals during our journey together. Whilst the programme gave me the tools to create a safe space for Niki to grow, she created one for me. As I transitioned into a new career and quietly managed multiple and daunting changes in my own life, Niki unknowingly taught me how to be a better leader, and how to prioritise myself whilst being the best I can be for those around me. The Routes programme is a leadership and mentoring programme like no other and, for me, the proudest moment has been the powerful bond that Niki and I built. I look forward to seeing where our bond takes us!

Niki, Mentee

When I started the Routes programme, I was depressed, but meeting everyone on the programme was so inspiring. Everyone was always positive and had such great energy! I learned from them how great it is to be positive, to be helpful and to be there for people who are in need. This programme really helped me to push myself and my confidence is higher than it ever has been! I am proud of all that I have achieved and I am proud of my ability to always find a way to smile.

Lily always has positive energy! Even when she’s tired, she is always shining. She inspires me, tells me that I’m the best and encourages me to be my best. It’s really important because Lily’s positive energy after our sessions always stays with me and encourages me to believe in myself and all that I can achieve.

In our final session, we spoke about what our journey has meant to each other. We both said – wholeheartedly – “she makes me feel like I can be me!” We allowed ourselves to be vulnerable and that has helped us both to grow as individuals and to become more confident. My advice to future mentees is to be yourself, and to be open. You really can trust your mentor and feel confident and calm with them. Have fun!

Photo above: Mentors and mentees from Niki and Lily’s cohort at their End of Programme Celebration

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‘A better and happier version of myself’

— Ishmatu’s mentoring journey

Ishmatu and Ellie were paired as Mentor and Mentee on our April - August 2022 cohort. Together they worked on Ishmatu’s goals. In this piece, Ishmatu speaks about her growth in confidence.

My name is Ishmatu, I am a mother with a two year old son. My son has mild speech delay. Being an asylum seeker, sometimes I lost hope and my confidence was gone. I felt tired and depressed, because I never imagined how life would be so difficult for me, especially in a country where I don't know any family. I suffered from this mood for quite a long time until I was introduced to "Magpie". There at last l met a family - they are very nice people and patient as well. I enjoyed spending most of my time there with my son, because I always felt welcome. 

One day, one of the Magpie team sent an application link to the group, and that’s how I came to know about the Routes Mentoring Programme. I decided to apply.  I was very happy, because I know my dreams will come true - I can start working on my dreams. 

I joined the mentoring programme and I met my mentor, who’s name is Ellie. When I met Ellie, we introduced ourselves, and I told her I want to improve my English and writing, and work on building my self-confidence. Ellie told me that my English is good and that we can work on my confidence, by practising together at least once every week. Ellie is pregnant, but yet it makes no difference: her energy is there for me throughout. I appreciate that a lot!

Ellie asked me a lot of questions, so I can talk and build my confidence. She also shared affirmations that I can use, just to help me prepare for my day. It helps me to think and plan how my day will look like. I feel better and a bit more confident every week. Together with Ellie, we are also working on some of my goals for the future. I told Ellie I was a nurse back in my country, and I want to continue with my career in the UK as well. We explored the options for that. My mentor has been really active and encouraged me to apply for a bursary, because she knows how determined I am to start a nursing career in the UK.

I want to say thank you to Ellie for mentoring me throughout the programme, I achieved a lot! And a special thanks goes to the Routes mentoring programme, which has given me the opportunity to grow into a better and happier version of myself.

Written by Ishmatu, August 2022

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‘Sharing a learning experience together’

— Ellie’s Mentoring Experience

Ellie and Ishmatu were paired as Mentor and Mentee on our April - August 2022 cohort. Ellie works as Senior Campaigns Manager at Nesta (‘the UK's innovation agency for social good’). In the piece below, she shares her thoughts on mentoring, and how to support someone else to find their confidence.

I was really keen to get involved in the Routes programme because I’ve been volunteering with refugee and women’s rights groups for a long time. I was chair of Wandsworth Welcomes Refugees when I lived in London, but moved back to my hometown on the south coast during the pandemic. After moving I hadn’t had a chance to get back into volunteering yet, so when I saw this opportunity promoted through my employer I thought it looked like a great way to meet someone new and share a learning experience together. 

Before I met Ishmatu, I felt apprehensive about my role and whether I would be helpful enough. I don’t have any experience of nursing (Ishmatu’s field of work, ed.), teaching or coaching and I wasn’t sure if I was ‘qualified’ enough to be a mentor. I was wondering if I would be able to support her in the ways that she’d need and expect. My fears quickly disappeared once we met - we immediately got on and found we were able to connect and relate to each other through everything we have in common, even though we only met online. I quickly realised that I didn’t need any specific qualifications and that I had plenty of privileges - things like English being my first language and having experience in applying for courses and jobs in the UK - that meant I could be helpful and offer useful support. I found that helping Ishmatu to think and talk about what she wants to achieve, why, and how she might realise her goals, really helped her to recognise how far she has come and how strong and resilient she is.

For me, the most enjoyable part of our journey together has been getting to know Ishmatu, because her energy and determination are so inspiring. A particular highlight of our sessions has been when we’ve talked about Ishmatu’s personal values and strengths, which have helped Ishmatu to reconnect with the confidence within her, rather than seeking it from somewhere outside. It has been hugely positive and rewarding to be part of that process. 

As a woman, a mother and a nurse, Ishmatu is incredibly caring and I found that she was supporting me as much as I supported her, especially in periods of my pregnancy when I was really struggling physically. It has been a joy to speak to Ishmatu each week and I know that she will achieve her dreams here in the UK. I feel excited for her future!

Written by Ellie Cusack, August 2022

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Motherhood and mentoring: Migerjana & Tiffany

Migerjana & Tiffany were paired as Mentor and Mentee on our April - August 2022 cohort. In this blog, they explain why being a mother won’t hinder your ability to join the Routes Mentoring Programme. And Migerjana shares her top tips on how to juggle motherhood and being a mentee.

This piece has been written by Migerjana and Tiffany (photographed) as part of their mentoring journey.

Like other young mums, Migerjana first heard about the Routes Mentoring Programme through the Happy Baby community, a charity that helps women who are pregnant or have young children and who have fled their country to seek international support in the UK. She has been volunteering her time at the charity every Wednesday for the past 10 months.

What has Migerjana’s journey been in the UK so far?

Migerjana moved to the UK to seek asylum when she was 5 months pregnant with her daughter. She then spent several months in a hotel in London with other pregnant women, also asylum seekers. Shortly after giving birth, she moved into a house share, where she’s been living since.

She joined the Routes Collectives mentoring Programme in April, when her daughter was 11 months old.

“At the beginning, I was sceptical and I wasn’t sure if I should join the programme because of my little daughter. I wasn’t sure if I would be able to commit to the whole programme and when I could fit in all of the sessions with my mentor. But now that I am part of the programme, I believe that it was a great decision to make! I’m really grateful and thankful that I enrolled in this programme. I’m building self confidence and I am feeling hopeful that I can provide a great future for my daughter and I. There is a long journey ahead of us but this programme has enabled me to believe in myself again!”- Migerjana.

Other mentees such as Martha said that the programme felt like a “wake up call” reminding her that “she has a purpose’’, and Zhaneta who was expecting a child in 2020 said that she felt “more peaceful” thanks to the programme.

How do busy mums like Migerjana manage to participate in the programme?

As you will have seen in other blogs on the Routes website, both the mentors and mentee undergo training and they meet up for 10 sessions either face-to-face or remotely over the course of the 4 months programme. This may sound like a lot of time for mothers who do not have childcare in place. Migerjana was delighted when her roommate volunteered to look after her daughter for both training days. She and Tiffany agreed to schedule all of their weekly meetings remotely during her daughter’s naps, which enabled Migerjana to concentrate on her objectives and have a bit of the ‘me time’ that mums sometimes crave! Obviously there were days when her daughter wasn’t sleeping and it was fine – either they would do a short session, or play a bit with the little one. 

For Tiffany, who is also a mum, it was very important that Migerjana felt comfortable. She knows too well how stressful it can be when trying to multitask with a toddler or baby!

What is Migerjana’s objective?

During the first few sessions, Tiffany and Migerjana discussed Migerjana’s current situation and her medium to long-term objectives. In the asylum system, it can take years for people to get a work permit. Migerjana has applied for one, but has yet to receive an answer. Thus they decided to concentrate on finding a short-term online course that could help Migerjana find suitable employment once she is granted a work permit. 

As a young mum, it is important for Migerjana to do a self-paced online course. This means that she can study whenever she can in the comfort of her home. 

As of today, her plan is to do a short online course to acquire business skills with a local college, then if she likes this field of work, undertake a longer course in the autumn. 

How are courses funded?

There are numerous funding opportunities available. On this occasion, Tiffany and Migerjana have been focusing on two funding opportunities:

1. The bursary scheme from the City & Guild Foundation that provides support of up to £10,000; and

2. Funding at a local college for asylum seekers who enrol in a university degree. 

Hopefully, they’ll be able to secure funding so that Migerjana can start a course soon!

Migerjana’s top 5 tips on how to juggle motherhood and the mentoring programme:

1. Agree on a day when you are both available.

   “I have therapy on Tuesday and I volunteer at the Happy Baby community on Wednesdays. The rest of the week I am out and about with my daughter. So Tiffany and I decided that Fridays during my child’s nap was a good time to have online hour-long sessions.”

2. It’s ok not to be ok!

   “We’ve both had to cancel sessions at the last minute because either of our babies was unwell. It happens and it’s fine!”

3. Mentors are called ‘champions’

   “This means that they do not always have an answer to our questions, but they always strive to find ways to help with suggestions and by bringing a different perspective.” 

4. Don’t hesitate to challenge yourself and join the programme!

   “Ever since Tiffany and I met (online), I have felt like I’ve known her for a long time. Every session with my mentor brings me closer to my goals. I feel more positive and hopeful for the future!”

5. Being a mum is not a barrier, it is a superpower!

   “I really want my daughter to have the best possible opportunities in life. That is a very powerful incentive and it makes me work extra hard!”

What is it like to be a mentor? 

Below is a short testimony from Tiffany, who’s child is 2-and-a-half years old.

“Being a mentor is a human adventure before anything else. Whilst it provides mentors with greater listening skills, a better understanding of the asylum system in the UK and numerous tools to help a mentee achieve their objectives, it really is the bond that you develop with your mentee that matters the most. In her blog, another mentee called Xiaojuan describes really well this feeling of connection between a mentor and a mentee.

“Being a mother is a permanent juggling act and it is easy to understand why ‘it takes a village to raise a child’! Getting to know Migerjana and her daughter got me thinking about my own experience of bringing my son up. The mother-daughter bond that they have is truly exceptional and I feel very inspired by the community that they have created for themselves with other mothers and children in the asylum system and beyond. I believe that it shows that motherhood has no cultural, religious or ethnic boundaries. 

“Being Migerjana’s mentor has been a privilege. I’m in awe of her resilience and her ability to adapt. She is an incredibly talented young woman who completed a masters degree in political science in her country and is raising a child by herself in a foreign country. Yet she has very little self confidence and the feeling of starting from scratch in an environment where your degrees are not recognised can be a daunting prospect. I am delighted to be helping her achieve her objectives!”

Written by Migerjana and Tiffany, August 2022

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Elif & Raperin, Mentor & Mentee 2022

Elif & Raperin were paired as Mentor and Mentee on our April - August 2022 cohort. Together they worked on Raperin’s goals, both learning and growing through the process. In these two short pieces, Elif & Raperin reflect on their journeys and what they have learnt from each other along the way.

“…we have a lot in common, as women we are going through very similar challenges in this male-dominated capitalist world, and we can challenge perspectives collectively by supporting each other…”

— Elif, mentor

Mentor, Elif

I joined the Routes Mentoring Programme to improve and practise my mentoring skills and to support another woman who we might share common challenges in a new country. 

I would like to say, the programme was designed by the Routes team very professionally from training to delivery. Even if you do not have any mentoring experience before, but you have a passion for it, the programme prepares you for the mentoring process very smoothly with trainings and individual support when needed. I believe skills we have gained during the programme are very crucial both for your personal and professional development. So, if anyone would like to try mentoring and not sure where to start, Routes Mentoring Programme provides a safe space for you to learn and grow.

Becoming a mentor of the Routes Mentoring Programme has been the most rewarding thing I have done in the last year. It was a pure joy to meet with Raperin and be able to accompany her in her journey. Raperin is a very strong woman with a lot of passion and resilience. She wants to understand the non-profit sector in the UK and continue developing a career here as she has a lot of work experience already.

Her struggles of trying to pursue a career in a new country reminded me of my own struggles when first I moved to the UK. After our long conversations I discovered that we have a lot in common, as women we are going through very similar challenges in this male-dominated capitalist world, and we can challenge perspectives collectively by supporting each other.

We have structured our meetings according to Raperin’ s goals and needs but we never missed any chance to get to know each other better and have fun together during the process. Being a part of Raperin’ s journey inspired me a lot and gave me a chance to reflect on my own journey as well. Raperin is a true source of inspiration not only for her daughters but also for the women in her community. 

“She never missed a chance saying how much she is learning from me like I learn from her, she is very much like a kind, smart and caring friend. ”

— Raperin, mentee

Mentee, Raperin

I was referred by a colleague to Routes being a newcomer to the UK. I was not sure how beneficial this would be for me but was open to try. The introduction meeting motivated me as the general friendly atmosphere was really present and encouraging. My goal from this program was to get to know the work system in the UK, diminish my fears, and restore my confidence.

In the first meeting with my mentor I was expecting a question-answer atmosphere, but no it was a simple meeting just getting to know each other. I must be honest I was not convinced that this could lead to somewhere, but because I’m not the kind of person who would pull back from a commitment I just decided to continue. THANKFULLY, I made just the right decision as later after meeting once every week, we started to really know each other, we discussed our deep concerns and thoughts, we laughed, we met in person and it became my favorite hour of the week.

Elif was genuinely involved in our conversations and discussions, she was honest and kind, and she shared her experiences and thoughts just like I did. She never missed a chance saying how much she is learning from me like I learn from her, she is very much like a kind, smart and caring friend.

She helped to understand the work system in the UK, the knowledge and experience she shared made me look into things from a totally different angle. We defined together our strengths and weaknesses on both professional and personal level, I discovered skills that I would never believe I have.

Now that the programme has just reached the end I have a much clearer vision of how to reach my goal with no fears, more confidence and a trustworthy, out of the blue friend who I can always seek advice from.

Written and published August 2022

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The similarities & differences - Florida & Emily

Having studied law in Albania, mentee Florida is faced with the challenge of learning a whole new legal system. Emily is an associate at Milbank LLP. She joined the mentoring programme to support someone else, whilst learning and developing in her own right. 

In this blog post, both women reflect on their expectations of the programme, their relationship to the legal profession, and the things they have learned from one another…

Why did you originally decide to study law?

FLORIDA – I decided because I had a passion for it and had read some books about law which sounded interesting. I had a passion, I did some internet searching and spoke with family members and friends and heard about their experience with that and how it works, so I decided to study law. I wanted to help myself and other people.

EMILY – I studied law because I was interested in a job that would allow me to keep learning. I liked that it would involve a lot of education as I felt that could always be useful for me to have, it also felt like it had a clear trajectory, which I found really helpful when I was younger to understand the process.

What is it like to learn about a new legal system?

F - I didn’t know a lot about the English legal system initially… When I first read some of the books that Emily gave me, I thought English law was going to be difficult, but actually it is similar in some ways. [Still], it is quite difficult, you need to start from the beginning, even when you have some information, it is still a different country. You don’t have the same confidence you have in your home, it’s different. You speak a different language. To study law and to learn about law is difficult without the language. It’s not like everyday usage. 

E – It’s been really interesting to get to see the similarities between law in England and in Albania. [Florida] clearly has an ease with the legal world that translates. [Although] I’ve noticed that legal jargon, for example, can be really difficult to understand… It really does show how difficult the system is, even when you have the context of growing up with the language. It’s a huge credit to those who can become dual qualified!

Why did you both decide to join the Mentoring Programme?

F - I decided to join because it sounded interesting for me to know more information about what I want for the future. For example, for job and study prospects, more information about how I can convert my university degree that I finished in my country. For me it was interesting to learn more about that.

E – I decided to join because I really liked the ethos of Routes; that the programme was to learn from each other, rather than a top down approach. This made me feel that I could be a mentor as I felt like I had something to give, but that I also wasn’t an expert and wanted to learn myself.

What are you learning from each other?

E – I feel like I am learning so much from Florida. I think she is such an incredible example of someone who is dealing with a lot from motherhood, learning what life is like in a new country, language courses and on top of this handling her legal status, and she does it all with such a positive attitude. She is always so incredibly kind to speak with and is so warm and funny. I think that it’s an excellent reminder that you can be resilient and kind.

I feel like it’s taught me to take time to reflect, rather than surging ahead with next ideas. I’ve realised that I’m a very solutions focused person, which can work well sometimes but can also mean adding a lot of unnecessary pressure other times. It’s allowed me to take a step back and to recognise that we don’t need to achieve everything all at once.

F – It was interesting to hear about how some of Emily’s experiences were similar to me. I learned a lot from Emily. First of all, I’ve learned to be more confident with my English speaking and that I have improved. Second of all, I’ve learned more about CVs and job applications. Also, I’ve learned about different types of job opportunities and steps. Emily has also sent me legal textbooks so that has allowed me to learn a lot myself. 

I was surprised by what I could learn from the programme, after the first session I realised what the sessions would look like and what we could do in the future. I think Emily and I work really well together, we cover many things in our sessions. Like thinking about CVs, as well as spending time getting to know each other. It’s a pleasure getting to know Emily.

Florida and Emily took part in the Routes Mentoring Programme together between October 2021 - February 2022. For more information about becoming a mentor like Emily click here. And if you would like to be mentored, like Florida, click here.

"It's a feeling!" - Xiaojuan's Mentoring Journey So Far

In this blog post, 2021-22 Mentee Xiaojuan shares her thoughts and reflections on her mentoring journey so far - the new relationship she’s made, the confidence she has built, and the new experiences she’s had as a result.

“I am a mummy, who has a four year old girl. My girl is in nursery now. We used to read stories before my daughter goes to bed and I found out that my English isn't good enough to read the story fluently. I realised that I must improve my English, not only for reading stories, but also for giving my daughter better education. That’s why I joined the Routes Mentoring Programme. I had heard about the Mentoring Programme from a charity that supports mothers who are seeking asylum. They told me that it can help me to meet my goals.

I joined the Mentoring Programme and met my mentor, whose name is Kerrie. Kerrie is very nice and patient. She asks me some questions every time when we are having a meeting and that makes me talk a lot. The more I talk, the better my English gets.

I feel like I knew my mentor already for a long time, even though we just met through the Mentoring Programme. I don’t know how to describe it - it’s a feeling! You can just talk to her: your thoughts, your thinking, your ideas. She is also giving me lots of suggestions. For example, some links and apps to help me improve my English.

We are also working on some of my other goals. In the future, I would love to create a video for my daughter. So that when she gets older, she can watch the videos from her early years. As a memory, from the time she was born! A little bit of her tiny life. But that is quite difficult for me. I need to learn a bit more about technology first. I might need to go to learn some computer skills, perhaps do a course to help me understand things better.

I told Kerrie that my English is not good enough. But she said that my English is very good and she can understand me. Because of that, I've been much more confident. I was scared to communicate over the phone. I would always go to a place to talk to people rather than make a phone call. But now I start to try to make phone calls, instead of going to the place, which saves me lots of time.

Recently, my friend’s printer wasn’t working. I helped her to find help by using the internet. Another friend had a problem with a delivery, and I helped them with making a phone call. Also, a friend of mine had to cancel an appointment with a GP, which is quite difficult. I could now help them with the phone calls. So I can now see that my skills have improved.

I hope I am not going to stop studying English even after the Mentoring Programme is finished. I think I will also go and find some computer course for me, after my English has improved. Now, I am doing an ESOL course (English for Speakers of Other Languages) at the adult learning centre of my local council. Sometimes things are easy, but for me, I need someone to help me. To open a door for me. And then, maybe I can start it.

If you meet a mentor that is good for you, this will help you a lot. It will help you reach your goal, and save you time. Also, if you are not confident, if you can find someone like that, they will help you build your confidence. That’s what the Mentoring Programme did for me!”

Xiaojuan was a mentee on our 2021-22 programme. Applications are now open for mentors and mentees for our upcoming programme (April 2022)! Click the buttons below to find out more…