Celebrating the summer cohort

Routes Mentoring Programme Producer, Wieke, shared this beautiful spoken word piece with our 2021 cohort of mentors and mentees at their end of programme celebration last month.

You can watch and hear the poem (performed by Wieke) and find the transcript below!

Some call this the ‘summer of love’
Some call it ‘summer of chaos’
We call it ‘summer of solidarity’

Knowing that there are other women like you

Keeping an eye out
Cheering you on
Rooting for your wellbeing

Having each other’s backs

Face-to-face in video calls

In pairs of two
You
Added understanding
Divided the workload
Multiplied meaning

Sharing that genuine space with one another
Looking at the other
Looking at yourself
And seeing the strengths in both of you

Mentoring is
Learning together
Learning from each other
Seeing the hurdles along the way
And then exploring the options

It is
Acknowledging different experiences
The setbacks that can crumble our confidence
When some of us are told ‘no’ over and over again

The long wait
In the system
In the heat

Is just that much more bearable
With a friendly face on the other side of the screen

Waiting for those ‘yesses’
Celebrating your successes
Seeing you for who you are

And as we talked through
Non-directive communication and public speaking
Goals and aspirations and road maps
Values and opportunities and next steps

Confidence was victorious
You were all glorious

As you build your relationships
Moved through your meetings
Tuned in for trainings

And shared some of those things that matter the most

And as tonight’s hosts:
this is your party

The long journeys that got you here
The wisdom that you carry with you

And this sense of

Self
Integrity
Care
Community

To take with you

Until we meet again
Meet in real life

To share some more
Laughter, joy and support

---

Applications are now open for our October 2021 mentoring programme. To find out more click here.

Teri's Top Tips for Public Speaking

Meet Teri!

You may recognise the amazing Teri from the screen and stage… She is a professional actress and has performed for theatre and television, recently being seen in Bridgerton and Call the Midwife, and gracing the stages of theatres like Theatre Royal Haymarket, National Theatre, Soho Theatre, Manchester Opera House and more!

When Teri was a child she found it hard to communicate and concentrate at school. When drama was introduced to her, she found it easier to express herself, which helped her to build her confidence. This experience was one of the reasons Teri founded Speak Up, an organisation running drama workshops to boost the confidence and wellbeing of people of all ages (with a particular focus on young people). The workshops are fun, playful and safe, creating spaces in which children and adults alike can take steps to building their confidence together.

Since 2020, Teri has been running confidence building workshops for women in the Routes Community, and the results have been amazing! 2020 mentee Mutiat recently commented,

“By the time you listen to Teri a few times your confidence will boost whether you want it or not!”

Since more adults in the UK are scared of public speaking than of dying (!) we thought it was only fair to share some of Teri’s Top Tips with you too…

Top Tips for Finding Public Speaking Confidence

1. Warm up before you start, even if it’s just a quick stretch of your body and face

Would you expect an athlete or a gymnast to go into a performance without warming up? No! Your body, face and voice need to be prepared in order to do their job properly.

2. Slow down and breathe — let the audience process your words

The audience doesn’t have a pause or rewind button! They only have one chance to hear what you are saying, so take your time, especially around important words or phrases. It will always sound faster to an audience than it does to you.

3. Start and finish well — the audience will remember the first and last thing you say

Start and finish with confidence and energy. We can all be tempted to trail off at the end, or run off the stage in relief, but the final impression is the most important one! Leave the audience wanting more by finishing as strongly as you began.

4. And finally, your audience want you to be good — take the pressure off yourself!

In centuries gone by, lots of eyes staring at one person would probably have meant they were about to be eaten by a pack of angry wolves... But not anymore! The eyes in your audience want you to do well and are looking for the best in you! Remembering this can help to take the pressure off and calm the part of your nervous system that goes into “fight or flight” mode.

Next time you have some public speaking to do (whether online or in real life) make sure to give these top tips a try, and let us know how you get on!

You can find out more about Teri and her organisation ‘Speak Up’ here.

You can find out more about Routes’ creative work, including details of our workshops, events and performances here.

---

"A little light in a dark room" - Silvia & Halima's Mentoring Journey

Mentor Silvia (Nesta) and mentee Halima wrote this blog post together as they approached the end of their four-month mentoring journey. In it, they discuss first meeting, their evolving relationship, growing in confidence together and much more…

Silvia: “Halima and I got to know each other through the Routes mentoring programme, which has had a transformative impact on both of us. We embarked on this journey with a lot of hopes and fears, and now that we are approaching the end of it, we have both developed into more confident and empowered women. Most importantly, in just 10 hours together and without having even met face to face, we have both found a supporter and a friend. 

“We would like to share a bit about our journey throughout the programme and how we’ve built a meaningful connection despite – and thanks to – our differences, with the hope to inspire more people to take part.” 

Before the mentoring programme

Halima: “I lost confidence in myself during the long lockdown. I was bored most of the time. I really wanted to do something for myself. One day, I met one of the staff at Happy Baby Community, and I got to know about the Routes mentoring programme. At first, I did not understand what it was about but later I realised this was a little light in a dark room.” 

Silvia: “A few months ago, I read in a book something like “the purpose of life is self-transcendence, rather than endless self-reflection”. That really resonated with me and made me realise that after having spent a couple of years focusing on myself with the support of wonderful people, I was now ready to offer support to someone else. Some days later, a colleague at work shared the opportunity to enrol in the Routes mentoring programme and it felt like the perfect match for what I was looking for.” 

Our first training

Halima: “Until the first meeting with my mentor Silvia I was very worried about how she would be. I was fearful, curious and joyful at the same time. I was scared that my English level was not going to be good enough and Silvia wouldn’t understand me. And I was worried I could not reach my goal.” 

Silvia: “During the first training with Routes I remember feeling a mix of excitement and anxiety (apparently, these feelings are caused by the same chemicals in the brain). How do you connect meaningfully with a person that comes from the other side of the world and is likely to have a completely different lived experience from you? Even more worryingly, how do you do that online, in the middle of a pandemic?”

Our journey together

Halima: “On the first day all the fears were gone. Silvia is very positive, sincere and friendly. She would turn all my negative thoughts into positive ones with her talking. She understands everything I say, she even understands what I can’t understand.  Since the first meeting I felt safe with her and it seemed like we had known each other for a long time. I am fascinated by Silvia’s sincere behaviour, and I now wait all week to talk to her. 

“We normally talk for a long time and we got to know each other through the programme. Silvia has always been thinking about my goal. I learned a lot of things from her that will be useful in my life here. Silvia is not only my favourite person, but also my one-year old daughter’s one. I don’t know the other mentors, but I am lucky, and I think my mentor is the best. Thanks to the mentoring programme, I was able to get out of a very frustrating and unhappy place. I regained my self confidence and I’ve learnt a lot. The staff at Routes Mentoring have been really supportive. I wish the programme continues so that more people can benefit from it.” 

Silvia: “Already on the first meeting, I realised Halima and I had more in common than what I had initially thought. After 30 minutes, we were chatting about our families, our countries, our experience of moving to the UK from abroad and getting settled here. She introduced me to her baby and shared a lot of interesting facts about the typical food and dresses of her country. From the very first session, we were open about what we wanted to achieve through the programme and how we could support each other in this journey. 

“With time, our relationship has evolved and so have our meetings. While at the beginning I was the one playing a more proactive role by suggesting activities Halima could do and next steps to achieve her goals, now she does most of the talking, brings up a lot of different topics for discussion and every week she updates me on all the activities and courses she is doing. Witnessing Halima become more confident after each meeting has been one of the greatest joys of my adult life. Watching her grow and flourish despite all the negative circumstances that were affecting her life has been a true source of inspiration. 

“On a personal level, it’s been so empowering for me to learn that I am able to support another human being to achieve their goals and that I have the resources and the tools to be an accountability buddy, a cheerleader, a friend and a supporter.”

Our thank you

Silvia and Halima: “A special thank you from both of us goes to the Routes Mentoring programme, which has given us a fantastic opportunity to grow into a better and happier version of ourselves and to build a meaningful friendship with someone supposedly so different, and yet so similar. It has been by accepting, exploring and valuing our differences that we were able to go beyond them. 

This journey made us realise that we share the fundamental experience of being human - of being sad when we feel rejected, self-conscious when we face a new challenge, happy when people treat us with unexpected kindness, empowered when we are showed that we are capable of achieving our most ambitious dreams. We were reminded that we are – as much of a platitude as it may sound – fundamentally made of the same matter.”

---

'It is never too late!' - Aldona's mentoring journey

Aldona is a mentee on our 2021 mentoring programme. As she writes this blog, she is approaching the end of her four month mentoring journey with her mentor Jo (UBS). Here she shares her journey to Routes, her experience of mentoring, and why it is never too late to start achieving your goals.

“I heard about Routes through my therapist. I wanted to join, because this is something I needed right now. It was the right thing at the right time. As a woman, as a mother of a child stuck at home, I needed it. For 10 years, I have been in the UK, but I have never had the chance to do things. I was foolish enough to believe that my asylum would be accepted, but it wasn’t until now - so over a decade, I couldn’t do much.

Having a child and thinking about being positive about the future and seeing things from a different perspective is really useful. Seeing things from inside of you, in a humane way. I was very glad and excited - you can’t imagine. It was like when you get excited when you go to high school!

I never had a mentor before. Meeting my mentor for the first time was the best thing ever. It was like meeting a doctor - that’s how I felt. This is someone who can help me heal - the old me who was passive and felt left behind in this modern world.

The first time I met my mentor, I wasn’t sure how it was going to turn out, because I never had an experience like this before. But from the first day she was so nice. We met on Zoom and she gave me the chance to speak. I have difficulties with focusing or remembering a lot of things. She gave me the chance to tell her. Maybe she just knew which questions to ask first.

Once I told her how I feel and where I stand and who I am, we just continued working together. We worked a lot - we have done 6 sessions so far. I want to do a course and Jo helped me to look at my options.

I even signed up for a course, but it was cancelled on the day - that was quite disappointing. I have small goals and big goals, and this was my small one. My mental health dropped and then I told her. Somehow, I could feel that she is feeling for me and then I was trying to tell her that I was going to be all right. Once I spoke to her, I was starting to feel that I can come back to this.

When you are in a different country, where you are surrounded with everything that is different, it is challenging. I felt not strong enough to do everything by myself. If I hadn’t joined this Mentoring Programme, I would have never thought I would be able to do something positive for myself.

My mentor is also learning from this, I think. She is learning how to deal with a different person, because it is just me and her… she is working with someone with a different mentality and different experiences.

When I was in high school, I left everything. I had issues - and I changed. Since then, my old me wasn’t there. But now having a mentor and thinking about getting back on track, it makes me believe that I have found myself again. I felt like that from the very beginning.

Maybe one day, I could also be able to be a mentor myself for someone. If I reach my first goal, and then my second, and if I learn the language a little bit better. I think it’s the best thing to do. It’s a pandemic and we are stuck at home. But for some people, even when it is not the pandemic, they might be stuck outside or stuck at home. There are so many people like me, who need mentors. It’s so useful to have someone to help you get back on track.

Maybe it would have been better if I met Routes earlier - but it is never too late!”

---

'Life through the Lens of Cake' - Catherine's Mentoring Journey

In this blog post, Catherine Kirchmann (Divisional Director, Investec Wealth and Investment) shares moments and learnings from her mentoring journey so far… through the lens of cake!

“I was nervous about meeting Lili (not her real name) for the first time. I am not new to mentoring. I have been involved in a number of different programmes over the past few years – some formal, others less so. Each had always had either a work or own industry bias and were often quite specific in their focus – for me it felt like mentoring within my comfort zone. But this was different. What attracted me to the Routes mentoring programme was the opportunity to get to meet someone from a different background to my own. If there is one thing I have learned over the last 15 months, it is the importance of connecting with and supporting others. But I wasn’t sure what to expect. What if we didn’t connect or have anything in common? What if our time together didn’t meet Lili’s expectations of the programme? What if we didn’t achieve what she had set out to do?

My nervousness was unfounded. Lili and I hit it off from our first conversation. She is out-going and confident, and I found the conversation came quite easily to both of us. We learned a little about each other’s backgrounds on that first day and I found myself looking forward to finding out more about her and her goals in our second call. Routes ensures that mentors get a lot of support – from the wonderful Routes’ team; from their comprehensive training for mentors; from the extensive resource database; and from your fellow mentors with their shared experiences. I wanted to find out more about Lili and her goals, strengths, skills and passions and reflected back on some of the activities we had looked at on our first training day to get to know each other better. We concentrated on personal values and strengths and it soon became clear that Lili wanted to focus on framing the type of job and role she wants to work towards, and what she needs to do to get there. But before we knew it we were out of time and I was worried that we were making slow progress. 

And that is where the cake comes in. Lili had mentioned that she likes to bake and promised to send me some photos of some of her recent cakes. Later that evening a message came through with photos of cakes that looked like they belonged in the window of a bakery. Reflected in those cakes I learned about Lili the wife, the mother, and the artist. There was the intricate tiered cake covered in pink flowers for her daughter’s birthday; the cake adorned with fruit and flowers to celebrate her husband’s birthday; the lovingly decorated cake to mark 20 years of marriage; and my favourite – the carefully crafted dinosaur cake which her young son looked at with sheer delight. By sharing these photos, Lili had given me a glimpse into her life and family and more of who she is and what she is capable of – all through the lens of cake. It made me realise that one of the measures of success of the programme will be the relationship we build and the time we take to get to know each other properly. Something that I don’t think I had always appreciated in my previous mentoring relationships. I am learning to judge progress in a different way and to celebrate the mini successes along the way.”

---

‘You can do it’ is something I will never forget

In this blog post, Faridah shares her experience on the Routes Mentoring Programme so far: the highlights, challenges and the relationship with her mentor, Emma, who works for NHS England.

“I  heard about the Mentoring Programme on the Routes social media pages. The fact is that I am a person seeking asylum here in the UK, I had so many questions, but no answers.

Issues I was thinking about were helping other women like me, how to join school, English language tests and be more involved in my community as a volunteer. Based on the above, I was sure that once Routes matched me with a mentor, all that was to be solved: I could start finding answers to my questions. 

Before I met my mentor, I trusted that Routes would match me with someone who would meet my expectations. This was because Daisy from Routes made calls with me and also through email I had to explain what my goals were. I was confident I would get something in line with what I wanted. 

Together with my mentor Emma, we are now working on how I can join university,  English language tests, funding avenues and volunteering placements in line with my area of interest. It has been wonderful. We are people who help each other. She gives me my space to speak and share what I want, we discuss and we come up with something that is best for me. It is not one-sided and we do it together. 

There are a few challenges we have to deal with. For example, some volunteering placements need a DBS check, which is hard to get as an asylum-seeker. Some funding organisations have age limits for one to qualify for their funding, and some universities have almost stopped taking new applicants for the year. The challenges push me to try harder: I will try and find a solution. I am always a positive person and will try to see what works best. 

The Mentoring Programme has been an eye opener for me. I learned that there is some funding and programmes accessible to asylum-seekers. I also found out that I have to do an English test, even though I come from a country where English is also an official language.

We are now looking for different opportunities for gaining volunteer experience. 

With the help of my mentor, so many questions have been answered.

I feel my mentor is also learning something from this. When we come across something, we both do research and then we compare notes. For example, researching things like volunteering opportunities or how to apply to university, we do hand-in-hand.

There are other groups where I volunteer. For example, now I can facilitate an event in line with what my mentor is doing professionally. I even invited Emma to come talk at an event together (with the organisation TimePeace). I invited her and she was really good - and I could do the facilitation. 

I would advise both interested new mentors and mentees to go ahead and join the programme. The advantages are more than the challenges. When you are not from the UK, and you get a mentor who is from here or has a lot of experience, you can ask them questions on how they do things. It is very easy-going and you can easily ask them questions.

I tried some of the things by myself before. I Googled, did this and that, but I didn’t know how to do it. When I told Emma about the UCAS thing (Universities and Colleges Admissions Service), she made it look so easy. She made it look like ‘You can do it’. That is something I will never forget. It made me so happy!”

---

Celebrating our winter cohort, January 2021

On the evening of 28th January, mentors and mentees from our 2020-21 programme came together to connect and celebrate one another. Routes’ Mentoring Programme Producer, Wieke, wrote and performed this beautiful poem for the cohort, which we are proud to share with you!

Scroll down beneath the video to read the poem

Four months ago

Twenty journeys started

Forty women

Mentors and mentees

Had training

Met

While the leaves were falling

As captured by Mutiat’s camera

We never met in real life

But you met

On your screens

On your phones

Having meeting after meeting

Getting to know each other

Getting to know yourself

You worked on

Setting goals

Making a plan

Taking it forwards

University applications

English

Confidence

And getting to know the job market

While London was in lockdown

It wasn’t always easy -

There was fear about Corona

Loved ones to look after

Bad internet connections

But you kept going

Week after week

You had your meetings

Attended our sessions

Some of you read a book together

Some practised their make-up

Some joined a workshop

Some worked on CVs

You discussed your weekends and wellbeing

Talked about your homes, your hopes

Dreamt big

Learning from the skills of others

Discovering the strengths in yourself

You showed resilience

Creativity

Patience

Perseverance

Joy

As you talked about what may come next

And reached out to Routes if you needed it

And here we are

January 2021

Snow has fallen over the weekend

And it is sunny again

It is celebration time

Forty women

Coming together to celebrate

The achievements

Big and small

The lessons learned

The relationships built

We feel fulfilled

Satisfied that we could walk this journey with you

Grateful

That while we have never met

We have seen you reach out your hands to each other

And we will keep going

One step after the other

Into a London that will see spring again

Outside

Do you hear the birds sing?

They are cheering us on

They are welcoming a new season

They are celebrating

Because they know

That with support

Women empowering women

We are learning

We are growing

We are strong

By Wieke Vink, for our fifth cohort of mentors and mentees

Things I Find Beautiful: an Online Exhibition

We are so pleased to be hosting this online exhibition of photos taken and curated by 2020-21 mentee, Mutiat, with the support of her mentor, Amelia.

We hope that these photos, and the words beneath them, will move you and help you to find the beauty around you.

Mutiat: Things I find beautiful is about seeing the beauty that surrounds us in our everyday life, being more aware of our surroundings, and finding the beautiful things in our community as we go about our daily lives.

I put together this collection of pictures from my everyday — from going out and being more aware of things I could find during my walk through the park or when I was out shopping, strolling out of boredom, or trying to find some inner peace and quiet.

Some of these pictures have deeper meaning for me and some of them are things I just find simply beautiful.

So enjoy and I hope that this helps you to also look around you and find something meaningful and beautiful every day.

1. Pathway

Mutiat: Two sides going through time but not submitting to the same change. On this pathway the trees on one side are completely green while the other side is changing for autumn. This to me shows how things, just like people, react to change differently, some submit and give in to it while some resist it and, in the process, resist the opportunity for growth and rebirth.

Amelia: The world about to turn upside down. Despite the seeming calmness of this quiet path, there is an overwhelming sense of impending change. The leaves — at least some of them — are about to fall, the path about to curve into the unknown, and a lone figure about to emerge from the distance.

2. Autumn Colors

Mutiat: Walking the dog on a beautiful autumn day. Fresh air colors all around.

Amelia: Even though the leaves are falling, this moment feels so full of life and colour.

3. The Bridge

Mutiat: When I was walking through the park and I saw this flimsy looking bridge my first thought was to turn around and to look for a different route because to me it felt like once I stepped on that bridge it would fall apart but then on second thought I decided to take a chance at this flimsy bridge and on the other side was a very beautiful space full of trees and greenery that I may never have discovered if I had taken another route, and that taught me that we may never know what lies beyond our comfort zone if we never take a chance at the flimsy bridges and overcome the fear of the unknown.

Amelia: A journey — where we’re coming from and where we’re going. Even though I’ve never visited this bridge, all I want to do is step onto it, hear its creak and see what is beyond the twisting branches.

4. The Lonely Chair

Mutiat: Sitting here all by myself in the cold of winter, I remember a time when I would curse the heavy behind of those that would sit on me like they would never go home, but as I stay rooted here all by myself through the cold days and the lonely nights I can’t help but long for the season that brings back those who give me some warmth and comfort even though they suffocate me sometimes.

Amelia: Patience. Endurance. A stand off. Defiance. A bench; a person. Enveloped by the looming trees. Enfolded, but never threatened.

5. The Graveyard

Mutiat: Walking through the graveyard I am reminded to love and live and never lose sight of what is important because we never know what day is the last. It’s a place of tranquillity where everyone is equal.

Amelia: The importance of finding colour in darkness. In graveyards there are so many stories to be found, be they joyful, tragic, eventful, or quiet. When we see their colour, we see the colour of our own story.

6. The Falling Tree

Mutiat: Two trees, rooted together through time, one standing one struggling. A story relative to human existence, which suggests that perhaps we are not so different from the nature around us. 

Amelia: Pushing and pulling towards and against each other. A London winter Capoeira.

7. The Tree Trunk

Mutiat: I was drawn to this tree trunk because of its color. It  looks like a popular fabric design in Africa called the ADIRE.

Amelia: The way the colours bleed into one another in this image is so beautiful.

8. The Red Path

Mutiat: The onset of winter and a little drama, kind of reminds me of the Little Red Riding Hood.

Amelia: There’s something both eerie and comforting about this scene. A story about to unfold.

9. The Sleeping Bird

Mutiat: A pigeon having a quick nap.

Amelia: This really encapsulates this winter, and wanting to burrow into yourself until brighter and warmer times.

10. The Swan

Mutiat: Grace, elegance and beauty. The swan is beautiful and it knows it. 

Amelia: The ripples, dips, and swirls of the pond all link back to the swan, who is at the very centre of this little world.

11. Cute Little Dog

Mutiat: This dog’s face reminds me of days when I just want to pull up the covers and sleep all day.

Amelia: I just want to reach through the picture and give this dog a good rub.

12. Brown Dog

Mutiat: It is a beautiful thing how loyal a dog can be no matter how mean it looks. 

Amelia: I relate to every fold, line and crease in this dog’s face.

13. Christmas

Mutiat: That time of year when all is bright and colorful.

Amelia: The colours, textures, and smudges of the wall remind me of a palette of paint.

14. Bird on the Wall

Mutiat: Just a beautiful mural reminding us to go out and seek for our daily bread.

Amelia: Art is all around us. Sometimes artists reclaim a brick wall as their canvas and sometimes we create art ourselves simply by being there, by witnessing it all.

15. Empty Park

Mutiat: Life in the wake of Covid, dark, lonely and scary. But there  is always the beautiful sky with the promise of a new dawn.

Amelia: The softness of the light hitting the path is so gentle and welcoming - it’s a path I’d like to take.

For more information about the Routes Mentoring Programme, click here or get in touch!

---