"A wake up call to remember that I have a purpose" - Martha's mentoring story

When I first heard about Routes, It was like an opportunity come through. I remember it was at Say It Loud Club in a women’s side workshop. It is when I sat attentively and listened to what Routes is and what they do. I was very interested and I noted her email and took home the flyer she distributed to us.

I signed up to the mentoring programme because I wanted to have my sense of direction back in terms of realignment to my life’s purpose. I really wanted to be matched with a mentor who would understand my confusion and help me get my feet back on track. I signed up so that I can be part of the Routes community, I wanted a safe space to belong as I grow. My worry was being deskilled as I await my asylum case to be heard, so I really wanted to be part of a programme that would help me get information about opportunities and valuable information to keep me occupied as I create impact in the UK community.

Before I met my mentor for the first time, I was really curious and eager to meet a person who would listen to me and wondered how we would start the journey and if we would be a perfect match with the same interests. 

I am happy to note that my mentor is an amazing woman and we are both feminists, what a perfect match! She is a good listener, patient, organised and creative. 

Currently, my mentor and I are working on my goals; applying to University, proof reading my personal statements and double checking if my actions are in line with my values and strengths. We also identify any obstacles along the way and amicably derive working strategies on how to overcome them. 

Our meetings are definitely leading somewhere and I always look forward to meeting my mentor each week. They are yielding and one meeting leads to the other, I describe it as climbing the ladder and we are almost reaching to the top where the view will be more beautiful.

About the progress we are making; I was able to identify my values and strengths. These were then aligned to my goal for the mentoring programme. I was able to identify the Universities and which courses I am interested in plus the scholarships to these courses. I have managed to write personal statements and edit them. My mentor has done a good job to help me proofread and guide me accordingly. I was looking into finding volunteering opportunities too and talking to my mentor has helped me be confident on what to expect in interviews, she has helped me to brainstorm on what to include in my cover letters. This guidance from her professional point of view has helped me to critically think for myself and to be logical and practical when talking about my experience.

For the challenges; I can say not everyday is a Sunday and some days will come bright while others come dark and for the darkest of time you have to pull yourself out of the ditch to rise again like a giant. Some days I find myself not motivated because of worries out of my control for instance wondering what the future will be like especially in my situation of seeking safety in the UK. On those anxious days it's really hard to push myself but the email reminders from my mentor asking about progress on my tasks gives me a wake up call to remember that I have a purpose to live and achieve.

By the end of the programme, I hope to have submitted my university applications for September 2021. I also hope to be more confident and be able to work on other personal development projects by myself even after the programme ends.

I encourage everyone who wants to join Routes mentoring programme and as mentee that do not hesitate to join the collective efforts of empowering women because it is your input that makes history, at the same impacting someone’s life for a lifetime. It is a life long learning experience you should not miss to incorporate in your life or professional journey. It is worth the try, bring it on and let us do this!

Last but not least, I think mentoring is a good opportunity for women seeking safety in a way that it helps you realise your potential, in case you have lost hope, it makes you find your purpose and definitely it helps you integrate in the community as you become part of a group that is known for creating impact; that alone builds your credibility in society. Mentoring puts you back on track and you can always refer to that experience even in the future for inspiration. It is a life long learning process you can never regret.

Thank you for reading my article.

Written By Martha Atuheire

"I feel more peaceful" - Zhaneta's Mentoring Journey

2020 mentee, Zhaneta, shares her experience of the Routes mentoring programme, and how it is helping her to overcome her fear of speaking in public, whilst supporting her in her goal to help other expectant mothers.

I heard about the Routes Programme from [a charity supporting new and expectant mums]. In this Community, I'm doing voluntary work in helping other mums in difficult situations.

I'm very happy that they could help me to find an amazing staff and positive people in the Routes programme. I started in this programme at the end of September. After just two months with you guys I'm proud of myself. Now, we are at the end of November and I can do more to achieve my goals. Without your help this wouldn't be possible in such a short time.

I especially want to talk a bit about my mentor. In easy words I can say that she is a woman who has managed to be very successful in helping me. She is an amazing woman with a beautiful heart. She always does her best and gives me lots of courage and good advice to think positively about myself and to be confident.

At the moment I’m in training with [the charity I volunteer with] and I do practice with her before the training: my problem is that sometimes I feel shy during public speaking and she is helping me to not think like this. Catrin told me that my English is very good and she can understand everything that I'm saying. After each meeting with her I feel more peaceful and ready to do the training or to speak with other people. She sends me some links about confidence. They are really helpful. Everyday in the morning I’m doing practice to be confident. She teaches me to relax my mind before I have to speak in public.

Also, we are both pregnant and we share our experiences and difficult situations during pregnancy. Together, we are doing practice for breathing. We do practice in helping ourselves during the labour.

Catrin found for me a course for Doulas. I would like to be a Doula in supporting pregnant women and new mums that had difficult situations like mine in the past. This course, which is starting with an introduction workshop in the beginning of December, is free, without payment. I can't wait to join the workshop and to learn new skills.

I'm very emotional that I've started such great things for my future. With you, I'm sure that I can realise all of my goals by the end of January 2021.

"Connect and be kind" - Catrin's Mentoring Journey

2020 mentor Catrin shares her experience on the Routes mentoring programme, and how mentoring can have a truly mutual impact.

I signed up to the Routes mentoring programme as I had quite a lot of free time and wanted to do something exciting, new and rewarding. I was excited about the training opportunities Routes provide, meeting and sharing ideas with the network of other women, learning mentoring skills and helping my mentee achieve her goals. 

I am passionate about supporting refugees and asylum seekers, especially women. The Routes mentoring programme is a great opportunity to form a more personal, one on one meaningful relationship with my mentee and make a difference in each others lives. I was also keen to build my own confidence and listening and communication skills by supporting someone else. 

I was excited about the first meeting with Zhaneta. I had been briefed on how she described herself and what her goals were and it felt like we already had quite a bit in common. I was a bit apprehensive that I might not be able to help her achieve her goals as much as I wanted to.

I had thought of a few ice breaker questions and exercises in order to get the conversation flowing but we didn’t end up using them! We hit it off straight away and had lots to talk about, including the fact that we are both pregnant; that was a great ice breaker. 

Zhaneta is such an open, generous and warm person. The conversation flowed and was relaxed. We were both smiling a lot! I felt inspired and energised by Zhaneta and our session, and was already looking forward to the next one. 

In our sessions we are working on confidence building, English language; mainly feeling more confident speaking in public to larger groups, and positive thinking and mindset. We are also working on positive thinking around birth. They all seem to tie in well together. 

We are using positive affirmations and journaling as a tool to feel more confident.  Zhaneta is preparing in between our sessions and practising her English with me; talking about topics she is passionate and has experience in, that she then shares in a training session she attends every week for the charity she volunteers with. She has a great way of expressing herself and I remind her that it doesn’t matter if her grammar isn’t always perfect; what she has to say is important and her experience and passion comes across clearly. 

We have focused on positive statements that she can tell herself when she feels nervous and we’ve also have done some work on breathing and posture in order to feel less nervous and more confident.

I am also learning a lot from Zhaneta in regards to being a first time Mum, pregnancy and labour. Zhaneta is very passionate about supporting other pregnant women who have been in a similar situation to her. She is already volunteering for [a charity supporting mums] and we have been discussing and looking at other options and courses for her to learn more skills and get more experience. 

I often think it would be really nice to meet face to face, rather than on Zoom, but we are making the most of the different situation. In a way it works well for both of us. We both hope to meet up next year, with our babies, when it’s safe to do so!

There have been lots of highlights. I love sharing our pregnancy experiences and asking Zhaneta for advice and sharing what I am learning too. I like sharing and practising positive affirmations. I’ve enjoyed hearing Zhaneta share her personal strengths and seeing her realise that she has a lot!  Her passion and determination inspires me and watching her confidence building in each session. 

I have done quite a bit of volunteering but Routes really stands out due to the training and support we are given as mentors. Mentors share ideas and advice which is great. There is also a clear set of boundaries around what our role entails. 

I am hoping the mentoring experience with Routes will help me to find work in the charity sector in the future. This is something I have thought about exploring, more recently. I feel even more passionate about helping women and refugee and asylum seekers after my mentoring experience with Zhaneta and seeing the difference mentoring can make to the mentor and mentee.  

Many refugees and asylum seekers feel isolated here; without family or many friends or support and in a new country. This time has been even more isolating and hard for many people and I feel it’s more important than ever to connect with people and to be kind. I know that having a conversation with someone who champions you and makes you feel seen and supported can really help. Thinking and talking about the future positively and having future goals is also really important, and I think mentoring really helps with this. 

Life as a migrant in the UK

Gaining confidence as a migrant in the UK, thanks to Routes

The UK is a beautiful country with lovely places to visit. It’s full of life, full of light, full of love, full of good and bad people. Full of good opportunities. Full of beautiful things like nice cars, clean buses, good roads, lovely buildings, great schools, and a big, amazing shopping centre.

You might not know all these things if you haven't had the opportunity to discover them - I was able to because I met Routes. There are lots of charities like them, but Routes helped me find something that was missing. If I am confident today, and it’s because they helped me build myself up. They got me a mentor.

My first mentor was very understanding, collaborative and patient. And I was lucky enough to have a second mentor afterwards. She was as friendly and important as my first.

During my mentoring programme, I was able to travel around central London by train. I got lost finding my way, I cried when I was running late, but in the end all those things gave me wealth. Because eventually, I learned how to get the train, and I learned not to panic. I learned to ask for help whenever I got lost. It’s difficult to explore when you’re worrying about travel money - but Routes gave me the confidence to try without fear by helping with train tickets (whether I got lost or not)!

(Above: Suzane and her mentor, Eszter at their End of Programme Celebration, 2019)

My mentor was there to help me find myself and to help me speak out. She encouraged me by giving me magazines like Vogue and Magnify. Their words were inspirational, powerful and elegant. And Vanity Fair showed me designer things like Prada handbags and Chanel jumpsuits for romantic nights out. Reading magazines helped me to read and write about what I found interesting. This was an amazing way to find out the things I loved. We did things like ice-skating, movies, dinner, walking around central London, to museums and more. All these things helped me because I'm a migrant and I had no experience of traveling, so I had the fear of meeting or talking to people. I thank God because now I feel confident.

My second mentor helped me to have the confidence to use a computer, with no panic of damaging it. She was so patient, and very good at explaining things to me. This was during the lockdown period, where we couldn't meet each other; but she managed to explain how to use a keyboard, how to install WhatsApp, Zoom and more. I also had the privilege to have a laptop and an internet dongle from Routes.

(Above: mentors and mentees at the End of Programme Celebration, 2020)

Routes is a beautiful charity with lots of different things to do. On Thursday’s we also have workshops over Zoom called Unlocking Joy. We have activities like yoga which helps me relax and think about myself, and creative writing and poetry which helps me think about my feelings. I wrote a poem called Dulwich Park, which I love so much. I love it because it was one of the first things I wrote, and whenever I read it, I feel like I’m back in that park and it makes me so happy. The staff at Routes are so understanding and friendly, and I am grateful to have them in my life because they’re helping me go through my hard time, and to achieve my goals in the UK. I just want to use this opportunity to say thank you to Routes. I feel special and grateful to have Routes in my journey of life here in London. Really, thank you.

Written by Suzane, with the support of Emily Howard.

“We are stronger together”

Elizabeth’s Mentoring Journey

It’s the start of December and we have just passed the half way point of our second virtual mentoring programme! In this interview with Daisy from Routes, current mentee Elizabeth shares her thoughts, experiences and reflections on her mentoring journey so far…

Daisy: How did you hear about the programme and why did you sign up?

Elizabeth: I heard about Routes from my close friend, who in turn had heard about it from another friend of ours who had attended the programme before. I signed up to the Mentoring programme for self improvement. 

I hope to be a better woman than I was before I joined the programme. A better communicator, writer and public speaker. All these are life skills that I will continuously use at university, the work place, at home, with friends among others.

D: What were you thinking before you met your mentor for the first time?

E: I was shy nevertheless I was excited about meeting a new person, working together and learning from each other, sharing bits and pieces of our life stories and goals.

My Mentor was happy about meeting me. For me, she’s the epitome of humility. Always smiling. Hardworking. Patient. A great listener. A problem solver. I could go on and on and on and on…

D: What are you working on with your mentor?

E: We are working on achieving my goals, that is improving my communication, writing and public speaking skills. For example, we do book reviews where we talk about the books we have both read at every meeting. This has helped in improving my grammar, public speaking and communication. 

And also we both recently found out that we are into knitting. Yay!  We’ve shared our different pieces of work at our meetings. I always look forward to them.

We continuously meet bi-weekly for one hour. My mentor and I have been able to work on my Personal Statement, a Hardship Fund application and also help with looking up several universities and have gone ahead to apply. Currently we are working on scholarship applications.

D: Have you faced any challenges in your mentoring so far? 

E: The fact that we are unable to meet in person is challenging as this only leaves us with the option of meeting virtually. This is great although technology comes with its own network issues especially with weather changes such as during or after a heavy downpour, windy situations too.

D: Why do you think mentoring is important?

E: I think mentoring is important especially for women seeking safety because it provides a sense of direction, healing and comfort. It is like a drawing board you always go back to re-trace, re-evaluate, rebuild, re-design and restore your steps so as to achieve your goals. Like fuel that propels you out of your comfort zone and move towards being a better person.

Mentoring is that one safe space that shields you from the storm when you are in a hard place. It is where you meet other women/people with arms stretched out wide to you, encouraging you, praying for you, working with you and cheering you on at the end of the valley’s rim. Sometimes, they bend and break the rules a little so as to comfortably suit your needs along the journey.

When we began this adventure called “womanhood’, we had no idea of the incredible joys or sorrows that lay ahead nor did we know how much we would need each other. Every day, we need each other still. We are stronger together!

D: What would you say to someone who wanted to join the programme as a Mentee or as a Mentor?

E: I would encourage them to register and join the programme and also invite as many other women as possible to do the programme too, as this will help propel them to greater heights.

Our next programme will run from March to July 2021. If you would like to take part, click below to find out more…

Mentoring Stories: Mariana Sastre

In this blog, 2020 mentor Mariana (Street Circus Co-ordinator at the Roundhouse) shares her experience with her mentee, Farah* (not her real name) as they approach the programme’s halfway point.

“We’ve reached the halfway point on the Routes mentoring programme and already it‘s been an inspiring and important journey. Meetings with my mentee are a weekly highlight and it’s a connection I value all the more given the distancing and uncertainty of recent times.

Joining the programme

I decided to apply for the programme after holding a workplace lunch and learn session led by Routes and attending a performance by Routes project participants of I Am Alive – The Power of Women. Routes does incredible work and I was excited to hear about how I could get involved with the mentoring scheme.  

As it would be my first mentoring experience, I was initially unsure of what to expect from our meetings. Adding to this, the situation with COVID-19 meant that the mentoring training delivered by Routes and meetings with my mentee Farah would all be via digital platforms. As it turns out, video meetings have worked surprisingly well, and we’ve still been able to meet regularly and make progress on Farah’s goals – though we do of course look forward to being able to one day meet in person.

The training for mentors was useful and included practical exercises that I’ve since used in meetings with my mentee and will carry forward, particularly around identifying and setting goals.  Overall there is a lot of support available throughout the programme: the Routes team and other mentors in the cohort have been great at sharing tips and resources, such as TED talks and exercises, and helping with questions that come up along the way. 

The highlights so far

Farah and I hit it off straight away, and this seems to have been the experience of many other mentors/mentees on the programme. We both have arts backgrounds and are passionate about the potential for creative projects to bring positive change. It’s been a highlight having our interests and experience matched so well and I really look forward to our chats each week. I’ve definitely found Farah’s creativity, adventurous spirit and compassion for others inspiring. It’s been great to learn from each other, navigate new challenges and celebrate successes together along the way.

So far, our meetings have focused on Farah’s goals as she writes her next film proposal. I’ve worked with her on building a database of online resources for funding, networking and skills development. We’ve also had good experiences of looking into translation and how to remove barriers around this. This is important for Farah’s work as a writer and more widely in making opportunities more accessible. A highlight so far has been working together on a successful application for funding to be used towards a translator. We’ve also been working with online translation tools to translate websites and application forms which quickly gave us greater freedom to access more routes for working towards Farah’s goals.  

Looking ahead 

I’m really glad to be a Routes mentor. So far the programme has offered the professional and personal development I hoped for and the opportunity to forge a valued connection with Farah. I would encourage anyone considering applying for the next cohort to do so – it’s a great experience and we need more programmes like these that support and empower women to achieve goals and build connections. “

The future looks bright: Diana's mentoring journey

Diana is a mentee on our first digital mentoring programme. Two months in, she reflects on her experience with her mentor Antonella. You can read Antonella’s story here.

I signed up to the mentorship programme because I felt that it would add much needed value in specific areas in my life and career. I had never been part of such a programme before but I was looking forward to getting a mentor that would help me identify the skills needed and help me navigate through my desired career. I also noted that the programme was all about women supporting women to grow together, and I was not going to miss an opportunity to be part of that.

I was a bit nervous before my first meeting with Antonella because it was my first time having a mentor, but at the same time excited because I knew I was making progress towards my desired career.

I had initially wanted to focus on fashion and retail. After our second meeting, I received my work permit and all the jobs available there fall under the Shortage Occupation List. Unfortunately none of the jobs listed were in my career bracket. We narrowed down to one course (Social Work) that suited my skills and personality. I had to enrol in University to study the course and we have just finished applying to the different universities through UCAS and are now waiting for them to get back to us.

I have learnt so many new things so far, like the effort and work it takes to apply to university in this country. However, all this was easier because I had my mentor helping and guiding me through it all. I’ve also come to appreciate the importance of having someone who is routing for you to win by cheering you on and giving you positive criticism and feedback.

I had to go back to the drawing board and reorganise myself with the cards that life had dealt me with when I realized that I couldn't work in my area of study or fashion and retail. Despite the disappointment, we decide to make the best out of it. At the moment, the challenge we are facing is trying to get a suitable scholarship that will help me cover my tuition and accommodation costs.

I hope that by the end of the programme I would have gotten a placement in university and a scholarship to top it up. I also hope that Antonella and I will remain friends because she will always be my mentor, and that we will finish this journey together because the future looks bright.

I have gained valuable advice and knowledge from my mentor who's obviously more experienced. Antonella has also created opportunities to build my network of professional contacts in the career that I want to pursue, i.e. she put me in contact with a mental health social worker who gave me a lot of insight on the career.

Mentorship is important because it empowers you to become more confident to make the right decisions and to identify goals and establish a sense of direction.

Mentoring stories: Sabrina Bals

Sabrina Bals is a Strategy Consultant at Accenture and was a mentor on the Routes Mentoring Programme 2019/20. In this interview, she shares some of her experiences and lessons learned.

Sabrina joined the Routes Mentoring Programme for two reasons, ‘I wanted to practise my mentoring and coaching skills and gain another perspective. The Programme provides a chance to learn about other people’s experiences firsthand and to challenge your own assumptions. I also wanted to learn how to approach a mentoring conversation.’

Sabrina was paired with Yasmin, who wanted to work on her communication skills. ‘During the very first session, we talked through Yasmin’s ambitions and goals. That first session was about getting to know each other and understanding what we wanted to get out of the sessions. What does it mean to improve your communication skills? What situations are we thinking of? From there on, the sessions developed organically, with different areas that we had identified to focus on.’

Sabrina looks back at the experience with joy. ‘We got along really well.’ Their cooperation was what Sabrina describes as a ‘peer mentoring situation.’ ‘I would share stories and experiences from my career and she has all these experiences and the challenges that she has overcome.’ 

The two of them worked on communication in different ways, making use of Sabrina’s expertise and online resources. ‘I found some good videos on communication skills on YouTube. We looked at them together and would then discuss.’ The sessions would flow from such exercises. ‘Yasmin is very intelligent and extremely reflective. That has been brilliant!’

There were two meetings that stood out for Sabrina. ‘We went to a workshop called ‘Big Speeches’ [by actor Jessica Regan and The Guilty Feminist]. That was a special thing to do together. During the last session, we worked on presentation skills. Each of us came prepared with a little presentation and we gave each other feedback. Yasmin did one on Human Resources Management and I did a presentation on my degree.’

While Yasmin learned about communication skills, Sabrina learned about mentoring. ‘At first, I wanted to provide a full curriculum, to make sure Yasmin would get the most out of our time together. I learned that that is not always what is needed and it sometimes is more valuable to explore topics and learn together. Meeting with other mentors was also really useful, to learn from their experiences on the Programme.’

What helped during the mentoring journey of Sabrina and Yasmin, was their personal connection. ‘We have similar character types. Routes had matched us well with our mentees.’ And so the end of the Programme has not meant the end of their relationship. ‘I have been staying in touch with Yasmin. It is not the easiest for her to be locked in [because of COVID-19].’

Working with Yasmin has been a valuable experience for Sabrina. ‘She is an example of amazing resilience - making the best of what is available to her. That is an attitude that everyone could learn from.’  

Read an interview with Sabrina’s mentee Yasmin here.

Mentoring stories: ‘If she can do it, I can do it’

In April,  we launched the fourth cycle of our Mentoring Programme, connecting professional women in London with women from refugee and asylum seeking backgrounds. For this interview series, we ask alumni about their experiences and where they are now. In this blog post we hear the story of former mentee Yasmin, who was part of the 2019/20 cohort. Yasmin volunteers for the Happy Baby Community and started a part-time bachelor’s degree when her son was just six months old.

Yasmin: ‘Looking at my mentor really inspired me. I was thinking to myself: if she can do it, I can do it.’ 

Why did you join the Routes Mentoring Programme?

‘I wanted to learn how to present myself professionally. How to talk, deliver an idea, be more precise. With my mentor Sabrina [from Accenture, the consulting company] we were working on building my communication skills.’ 

What did you learn on the Programme?

‘I am more comfortable now when I present myself. Even personally - in life in general. Sabrina gave feedback on a presentation I made for university. Together, we also went to a training event called the Big Speeches [by actor Jessica Regan and the Guilty Feminist], which was a bit scary at first, but great in the end. Sabrina is young like me and in that good position at Accenture. That gave me real confidence, that one day I will also be able to work at a multinational company.’

How do you look back at your time together?

‘The Mentoring Programme helped me a lot. There were things I wanted to learn, but also other things I learned through the journey. Routes did an amazing job with the matching. At the graduation ceremony, you could really see: every mentor and mentee seemed like sisters or that they relate. It is great that this exists for people who have been through a lot. It is something I will carry with me in my life.’

What is your favourite memory of the programme?

‘The first day we met. Sabina was very organised. I liked that. We had a set of schedules for what to do each session. We enjoyed each other’s company and learned from each other. The Programme gave me a big push. It is a space to talk about things that you wouldn’t talk about with others in a normal day. That means a lot.’  

What makes Sabrina a good mentor?

‘Sabrina is well-organized and honest: if she doesn’t know something, she will say so. We had transparency in exchanging experiences. I like that. Sabrina also came to support us at Happy Baby Community, where I am helping with finances as a board member. Sabrina carried out a workshop for us, to work on our mission and vision. The  outcomes were very useful for our first Annual Report.’

In May, it was Mental Health Awareness Week, with ‘kindness’ as its theme. Do you have a memory of kindness that you would like to share?

‘During quarantine, I am doing social calls for Happy Baby Community for other mums, who only speak Arabic.  I call them every week and ask them if they need something for their babies or if they have any questions. I also help to translate when they go to the pharmacy or the GP. Many of these women have very young babies and are in temporary accommodation. It is difficult for them to know what is going on. Happy Baby Community is also calling us as volunteers to ask how we are doing, which is really nice.’

How do you keep going during lockdown?

‘Especially at the beginning of lockdown, I felt under pressure. I was thinking “I don’t know how to do this”. I was studying and having exams, along with everything else. But I have to stay strong for myself and my son. I think, “What if it stays like this for the next couple of months?” That helps me to adapt to the situation. I did fasting during Ramadan and I do meditation and work-outs at home. Helping other people also gives me joy. You can  make a difference and see results. That is like a box with little gifts of joy.’

Mentoring Stories with Sally and Sausan

Mentoring Stories with Sally and Sausan

While we are a month into the fourth cycle of the Routes Mentoring Programme, this is also a great time to hear about the experiences of participants on the programme before. What have they learned? How do they look back? And where are they now? In this blog post, civil servant Sally and her mentee Sausan reflect on the joy, laughter and lessons they shared and on keeping a positive attitude during the COVID-19 pandemic. 

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Sausan: ‘We met last year [on the 2019 Routes Mentoring Programme]. I joined the programme because I wanted to improve my English and learn how to find a job. It was exciting for me: meeting new people and gaining a new experience.’

Sally: ‘I joined for a similar reason: I love new people and new experiences. I had mentored in the past and I really liked the ethos of the Routes programme. It is a great opportunity to share some of the skills you have with someone else, while also learning from her. We came to the sessions as equals.’

Sally and Sausan would meet during the day and work together on Sausan’s goals. ‘From the start, Sausan was really invested in the programme. Sausan has amazing patience, compassion and positivity. She is really resilient and always looking for the best in a situation.’  Sausan: ‘When I met Sally for the first time, that was a really beautiful moment for me. She was friendly and smiling. I felt very comfortable working with her.’

‘During our first sessions, we found out that we had many things in common,’  adds Sally. ‘We discussed politics, food and our expectations for the programme. We connected on a level that makes everything else easier.’ 

Sausan: ‘Sally is very flexible and talented. She explained things to me in a nice way, in an easy way. About language, she said that I didn’t need to worry. ‘That comes with time.’ Looking for a job, she said ‘just keep going.’ She really encouraged me.’ 

Sally would find herself looking forward to the sessions with her mentee. ‘I would take a break from work, meet Sausan and come back to work with a different frame of mind. She brightened up my day. It was really lovely helping her to find ways forward for her. That was a big moment, I think: talking about what she wants. Towards the end of the Programme, we also had our photos taken. That was really fun! We laughed so much, for three hours. Sausan is always smiling.’ Sausan agrees. ‘I smile very easily.’

After the programme finished, the two of them kept in touch and Sausan passed her English test. Sausan: ‘I was studying English online and we met up to practise before the exam. Sally and I had such a nice time on the Mentoring Programme. It was great to be working towards something together.’
Sally agrees. ‘The Programme is a short time in life, but has long-term impact.’

For her, being a Routes mentor not only led to a lovely new personal connection, but also in lessons learned to apply at work. ‘Perspective is really important and so is communication. In my current job, I manage a team and being part of this Programme helps with understanding. It helped me to see people in a different way and to try and understand the challenges people face. It also helped me to take a step back and think: what is really important? It has brought a new perspective on my life, really - on what challenges mean and how to look at them differently. Sausan had many things to overcome, but she is always positive and looking for ways forward.’ This is also helpful in times of a global pandemic. Sausan: ‘With this situation of Corona, life still continues. We should still be looking at the future and focus on staying positive.’ 

Over the years, Sausan has developed her own strategies for doing this. ‘Thinking is very important. We should try and use it in a positive way and read positive stories. That really helps.’ Sally: ‘The current situation feels unsettling, but again, I see Sausan is really positive. That is a lesson we can all learn from her.’

The start of Amal's mentoring journey

Amal* is a mentee on our Summer 2020 programme. Here she shares some thoughts and reflections about her experience on the programme so far.

I signed up to Routes to refresh my experience and get knowledge of the work environment and working culture in the UK. To help me achieve my goal, which is returning to the media field or finding any volunteering opportunities in that field.

[Our first meeting] was great, we spoke about ourselves, getting to know each other, and from the first two minutes we got to understand each other quickly. My mentor is a lovely, open person and she made it easy for me.

In the first session we outlined goals to achieve, both in short term and some for long term. She gave me a brief about the media in the UK and how it works here and answered all my questions. Honestly she is making me feel so positive, letting me focus on my strengths and guiding me to achieve my goal. 

She started by telling me about the media types in the UK, then about their strategy, so now I understand more about the work environment and freedom of journalism. She gave me the keys that helped me to find where I should start here, especially as I have nine years of experience in my country, which I did not know how to use here. Now I know where I am and what the gap is.

We discussed each newspaper and online media and the leaning of it: radical, liberal, fake news, modern, formal etc. That made me research more and write down questions and discuss with her in the next session. I reactivated my Twitter account, as I know that all journalists here use Twitter more than other platforms. In my country we use Facebook but in the UK, most people feel it's private, not for work.

She made me very active and I'm now starting to do some videos online for social media in Arabic and hopefully by the end of this mentor programme I'll be prepared and finished an article or video in English, which we are planning to send to any local news around me, getting engaged with them as a volunteer to start my journey.

To be honest, when I was referred to Routes and when you were contacting me, I never expected and imagined this huge effect on my personality - the way I'm thinking now and what I'm receiving from this programme. From the first three sessions I feel the difference. She gave information I will never find on Google or the internet. I'm so excited for the rest.

It's like this programme is refreshing me. My mentor has put me on track, so at least now I know where I have to start from in order to restart my career again, after all that happened to me, which forced me to seek asylum in the UK.

(*Amal is not her real name)

Mentoring Stories: Antonella Mandato

This is the first blog post from our first digital mentoring programme! Antonella Mandato writes about her experience of the programme over the past four weeks.

Being a mentor with Routes has been a truly enriching experience from all points of view: the relationship with my mentee, as well as the other mentors; the training and support we receive from Routes; my personal growth.

Before starting, I was feeling a bit nervous about the challenge ahead. And I have to say that being a mentor is a commitment, but an amazing, fulfilling and enlightening one.

The first training was very well organised (on Zoom, considering the challenges with COVID-19). There was a lot of useful learning, for both the mentoring programme as well as for my personal life. 

The highlights for me were:

• Reflecting on the fact that every person has different experiences, backgrounds, baggage, personalities; and the empathy, respect and sensitivity needed when interacting with other people.

• Different styles of communication from directive and authoritative to non-directive and empowering.

• The qualities of a good mentor, including listening, being welcoming, non-judgemental, kind and positive, being joyful and patient, supportive and motivating, and giving ownership to improve confidence.

• Interactive activities and exercises about personal values, personal strengths, exploring goals and objectives. 

• Information about the UK asylum system.

• Introduction to Slack, a communication platform to connect with Routes and the other mentors on various subjects.

So far I have had four meetings with my mentee and they have been exciting, motivating, fulfilling and sometimes challenging, as we try to navigate resources available, understand the university system and scholarships opportunities. At the end of my second meeting, I was so excited that my husband hadn't seen me so buzzing in a long time.

The relationship that my mentee and I have built so far is enriching for both of us. She says she is very grateful and excited to be guided and supported, she has found the motivation and the belief that she can achieve her dreams and study at university.

For my part, I have tried to be a trustworthy non-judgemental mentor and empower her to make her choices, explore options, discover her strengths, as well as share resources, tips, useful websites, and ideas for a more structured work through recording progress on Excel spreadsheets.

Since our first meeting, my mentee has already identified good courses at university, as well as the necessary scholarships. She is in the process of applying, as well as networking with relevant stakeholders. What's more, during her meeting with other mentees, she shared the knowledge she has gained and provided them with tips and resources. This makes me very proud.

We have also established a friendly relationship and during every meeting we have informal chats about our week, our feelings and this makes everything very special.

For some people the first meeting might be a bit daunting but I was very lucky that my mentee is friendly and sweet and broke the ice by talking about COVID. I was very friendly too and we found out we have lots of passions in common, like cooking. Now we often speak about our lives, families and countries of origin. She teaches me words in her language and I teach something in Italian.

For me the most beautiful aspect of this programme is building a relationship with another human being and helping her on her journey to achieve one or more of her goals. I cannot even explain how fortunate I feel to have embarked on this journey and try to contribute, connect and make a little difference for another human soul.

Lockdown Activities

Since lockdown began, many of us have been looking for ways to stay connected, creative and calm at home. We have compiled a list of some of our favourite online resources, from choirs to audiobooks, workouts to theatre shows and more…

Keep dreaming: audiobooks, stories and plays for all ages

• Storyline Online: Storyline Online is a free online resource for remote learning during COVID-19. They stream videos featuring famous actors reading children’s books with creative illustrations.

• Audible Stories: Instantly stream an incredible collection of stories, including stories in eight different languages, which will help keep children and adults alike dreaming, learning, and imagining.

• National Theatre At Home: The National Theatre is streaming its past performances on YouTube for free every Thursday since the beginning of lockdown. You can watch the plays on their Youtube channel (each new play stays up for one week after its live stream).

Sing together: online choirs

• Citizens of the World Choir: Due to the COVID-19 emergency the Citizens of the World are now a FULLY ONLINE CHOIR! They are providing weekly rehearsals via Zoom as well as maintaining their strong support network to combat feelings of isolation and difficulty during this unprecedented period. If you are a refugee who would like to join their online singing community please email rachel@cotwchoir.com or DM us on their Twitter or Facebook pages.

• Fire Choir: During this period of self-isolation, Fire Choir is bringing people from around the globe together for a weekly virtual singing session. Everyone is welcome – no experience and no preparation is necessary. Sessions are taking place weekly on Monday evenings at 7pm (UK time) via Zoom. Find the link to join every Monday here.

Move your body: online workouts to do at home

• Natasha Noel: Natasha Noel has a selection of great online yoga videos, but we particularly like her Morning Joint Movements video to energise your body (whilst staying in bed!)

• Jessamyn Stanley: Stay active whilst really looking after yourself and your body. Jessamyn’s 8-minute Yoga for Self-Love video is the perfect way to energise your body quickly and with love!

• Khadijah Safari: Khadijah teaches women-only kickboxing classes (now online) and whilst the classes are not free to join (it costs £25/month for unlimited classes), she does post great home workouts on her Instagram page, like this one!

Do you have any more to add? Comment below if so and we’ll add to the list!

Eszter: 'Each for Equal' Routes on International Women's Day

The theme of this year’s International Women’s Day is ‘Each for Equal’.

We asked Eszter, a 2019/20 Routes mentor, to share her reflections, opinions, hopes and visions for a world where each of us takes responsibility for fighting for equality.

* * *

Equality to me means a way of living together that allows us all to thrive; it means fair access to shared resources and opportunities; it means a chance for all to be recognised as valuable members of the community.

When I moved to the UK, I was shocked by the discrepancy between my experience, and how asylum seekers are treated. As a white woman with an EU passport and a PhD in economics, I was not asked to prove that I deserved to be here. I was welcome. 

Asylum seekers do not enjoy this luxury: the unspoken, implicit assumption underlying the UK asylum system seems to be that people seeking refuge here represent a potential burden (or worse, a threat) to the country. Consequently, the system is designed to keep them out. From my experience as a Routes mentor, that assumption could not be further from the truth. 

The women I have met through the Routes programme all amazed me with their strength, passion, hard work, resilience, kindness, curiosity and endless positivity despite their difficult situation. Many of them hold valuable qualifications, and those who have not had the chance to get formal training yet are eager to learn more and gain skills and experience. Those who are not allowed to work seek out opportunities to volunteer. They have so much to give, and we have so much to learn from them.

My mentee, Suzane, constantly amazed me with her intelligence, her unique points of view, her keen eye for detail, her appreciation for beauty and for her ability to find a silver lining in even the darkest situations. Changing our perceptions about asylum seekers and seeing them for the valuable members of our community that they are seems to me an important step toward removing the inequality in the system.

I am really inspired by the work of Seema Jayachandran, who is a professor of economics at Northwestern University. Her research brings questions around equality, fairness and inclusion to the forefront of economics. She studies the way traditional gender norms shape women’s access to employment and entrepreneurship opportunities, and tests ways to empower women through peer support and changing attitudes.

Suzane: 'Each for Equal' Routes on International Women's Day

The theme of this year’s International Women’s Day is ‘Each for Equal’.

We asked Suzane, a 2019/20 Routes mentee, to share her reflections, opinions, hopes and visions for a world where each of us takes responsibility for fighting for equality.

* * *

To me, equality means we are all the same and we are supposed to be treated the same. I believe equality means that we should learn to respect each other and to take each other for who we are, not to put anyone down because of their situation or because of their circumstances, or where they come from or if they haven’t been to school. 

Inequality to me is when someone doesn’t look at you as what you are. For example, men sometimes they treat women like they are children or very small; they find that you are not qualified enough to talk when they are talking, you just have to come and listen and obey. I find it a bit hard to take, but at the same time you just have to let go. 

I also think that it is like when people look at you in a certain way because you haven’t got the qualification to stand next to them, or be on the same table as them or to be in their environment - you are not part of them. So many people go through this and face this, and I realise that so many women in particular go through this situation - they believe that they haven’t got much to bring, so they feel “my life is limited, I haven’t been to school, I’m not educated enough to raise my voice, I just have to obey this person and do everything he asks me to do because I’m useless. How can I raise my voice? I am nobody.” 

So many women just accept this situation and live that life. For so many years, so many women have been in this situation. It is a good thing if we raise awareness about this so that those women can try to wake up, like from a dream, and know that they can leave.   

I think the most important thing is to show the people around us that we care and that we love them, no matter what their situation is and no matter what they are going through. The first thing we have to do is to show them love, to make them feel special in their body and in their mind. When you go to the hospital, if the doctor doesn’t welcome you well, you start to think “Oh, I don’t know why the doctor didn’t receive me well? Is it because of my condition? Is it because I’m black?” You start asking yourself so many questions. But if you go to the hospital and the doctor receives you and welcomes you well, you feel like you want to tell them all your problems and how you feel in that moment. 

We must show love to the people we come across to show them we care, so they can tell us about themselves and start opening up. I am just saying this out of my own experience. If someone shows me love, I feel more open and confident to speak to that person. We need to share the love to the people who surround us.

The person who has inspired me this year was the show we went to watch [with Routes], the Tina Turner Musical. I got so much inspiration from that show: you have to get up from wherever you are and try and stand up for yourself. No matter what is coming your way you have to be strong and not give up; you have to force and believe in yourself and people will start to appreciate you and respect you and love you. 

I got so much inspiration from that show, and also from Eszter [my mentor]. Every time I met her she always treated me like I was like the same person like her, even though I always see myself as so little, so ‘down there’, she always made sure she put me on the top, where I felt like I was being loved and able to open up, because of the love she showed me, because of the way she treated me, because of the belief she put in me. 

When you show love, the people around you feel free - that’s what she did for me. She helped me to have the confidence to build up myself and be able to speak out, and she always made sure I was being treated well, which made me feel really good. That made me feel like I was a member of society, like a grown up person. Every time we met, she always made sure I felt good in my body. Nobody had done that for me. I believe that if we all show love to one another as she did with me, the world will be a good place and so many women will not be scared to open up and speak their mind because they will be loved.